robaday Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Sent my ex gf a nice christmas message just wishing her the best for the future - weve been broken up for over 2 months. During the rel, she complained all the time, and I realized I wasnt the right guy for her....she kept demanding more commitment and became increasingly argumentative. I just assumed she was unhappy, and because I didnt want to spend my life arguing with her I broke it off. Anyways, she was devastated by the break up, lashed out at me and gave me a lot of guilt trips. It surprised me because the way she acted during it was as if she hated me anyway! So I send her my best wishes. And I was greeted with 3 messages and an email of abuse. Why do people do this? I didnt really do a whole lot wrong in the relationship apart from be a little lazy, and distant. I didnt cheat or abuse her.......the only thing its done is made me think "thank god I finished it" Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 I doubt you'll ever get the answers to those questions, just instead accept that clarity of being happy you got out. She sounds very insecure - one minute pushing you away, the next angry that you've gone away. I have friends who are similar. They get annoyed, tell me to leave them alone, I do, then they complain I haven't been in touch... eh??? You just can't win with some people, and if you try to understand them it just becomes a total head ****! If you're okay with moving on and happy to be out then just stay that way and don't make anymore contact. Link to post Share on other sites
immitable Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Sent my ex gf a nice christmas message just wishing her the best for the future - weve been broken up for over 2 months. During the rel, she complained all the time, and I realized I wasnt the right guy for her....she kept demanding more commitment and became increasingly argumentative. I just assumed she was unhappy, and because I didnt want to spend my life arguing with her I broke it off. Anyways, she was devastated by the break up, lashed out at me and gave me a lot of guilt trips. It surprised me because the way she acted during it was as if she hated me anyway! So I send her my best wishes. And I was greeted with 3 messages and an email of abuse. Why do people do this? I didnt really do a whole lot wrong in the relationship apart from be a little lazy, and distant. I didnt cheat or abuse her.......the only thing its done is made me think "thank god I finished it" I think you need to question yourself and see where you did wrong in the relationship. Every relationship requires work and it is not easy but the perks of it make up for everything. Just have that in mind for the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author robaday Posted December 22, 2011 Author Share Posted December 22, 2011 The thing is I was and am self aware - I knew I wasnt commited enough, but working 65+ hrs a week I couldnt give her anymore. I explained my situation to her before we started dating - that I had very little free time and if she wanted someone who could commit further then I would respect that. Her whole behavior up and to and including the break up was completely one sided, and showed an inability to appreciate where I was coming from. She became increasingly abusive - tearing me down as a man, saying I was pathetic etc. It was horrible because I wasnt really doing much wrong. I broke it off because I just didnt want anymore drama. I thought after two months she would have calmed down but she seems angrier and more abusive than ever. Ive never experienced anything like this and am actually pretty scared of her! Link to post Share on other sites
Popehappycat Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Then you did the right thing. I know there are two sides to every story, but you could have been worse. Her anger isn't your fault, it's an issue she obviously needs to work on. We all have that soft spot and want to make others happy, but there just isn't anything more you can do. Remember, her opinion of you doesn't dictate who you really are. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 If you really didn't do anything wrong you shouldn't blame yourself. My ex did exactly the same thing. It seems like god forbid if they ever give you any answers. Why is that too much to ask for? These people always think IRS ok to treat us like dirt for some reason. Link to post Share on other sites
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