DontWorryBHappy Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Tonight I think I finally realize that I'm going to be ok. It's been 8 months since the break up, and I've spent the majority of that time in extreme pain from losing someone that I deeply loved. I did it all.. Lashed out at the ex, told him my heartfelt feelings, suffered in silence, whined about it, cried upon listening to every damn love song, wondered a bunch of times if I would die from the pain, felt better sometimes, finally threw away/packed up any remaining items associated with him, and I'm still around. I guess tonight all I can think, despite how it ended (badly), despite things that I thought I'd regret, despite anything, I genuinely believe that there is something better out there. There's something different for me. A different life that I will grow to love one day, and I just need to believe it and have enough courage to take it all on and leave the past where it belongs...... My ex always believed that everything happens for a reason. So hey, maybe he's right about that, I don't know. What I do know is he's gone. And dammit, this is my life. Know what I mean? There's no more tomorrow for me.... Every day is my life and it's moving along all the time. I love all you guys and believe in every one of you, because I understand your pain, but I know we can rise abve it. That's all I wanna say . Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 There is no reason to sit around suffering. I've found that if you work on yourself and do what makes you happy that the loss isn't nearly as bad. Put that love that you gave another person into loving you and things feel so much easier. Very happy for your progress. Link to post Share on other sites
Thieves Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Lovely post, DontWorryBHappy. Sounds kind of obvious to me now, but I've always known somehow in the back of my mind that, despite the fact that some relationships may end and we'll of course feel the resulting pain because of that... it's only a matter of time before you start feeling like yourself again. Perhaps you won't be exactly the same in all aspects, but that's only a given, because we learn something -- no matter how small or big -- from every person we're with. In the end, though, I think it's good to know how to be comfortable with yourself when you're not with another person. That's one of those things that a lot of people just naturally struggle with, including myself sometimes. In all of your relationships, the only common denominator that there will ever be is you. That is never going to change, while the different people you meet in life, will. Which is why it's important to try to be comfortable with your life and with being by yourself whenever you are. Link to post Share on other sites
Magda70 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 My ex always believed that everything happens for a reason. So hey, maybe he's right about that, I don't know. Unfortunately, you ex is/was wrong. Things happen also for no reasons at all. Bad things may happen to good people and good things may happen to bad people. I guess by raising the subject of the fate/destiny he tried to justify why he decided to break up with you... The bastard... Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontWorryBHappy Posted December 22, 2011 Author Share Posted December 22, 2011 Magda, I appreciate you mentioning that. My ex had very narrow beliefs about things. He was excessively Christian, and was not open to other beliefs and ideas. And it was hard for me to be around that when I was still figuring my own life out. And yeah, he did use fate to justify it. After the break up he posted on his Facebook that everything happens for a reason.. :/. Link to post Share on other sites
Magda70 Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 Magda, I appreciate you mentioning that. My ex had very narrow beliefs about things. He was excessively Christian, and was not open to other beliefs and ideas. And it was hard for me to be around that when I was still figuring my own life out. Uhm so you are a broken-heart dumper iow, you broke up with him (for a good reason) and not the other way around? And yeah, he did use fate to justify it. No worries: all dumpers find excuses, mine told me he used to say he had a midlife crisis. Link to post Share on other sites
rob_h Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Tonight I think I finally realize that I'm going to be ok. It's been 8 months since the break up, and I've spent the majority of that time in extreme pain from losing someone that I deeply loved. I did it all.. Lashed out at the ex, told him my heartfelt feelings, suffered in silence, whined about it, cried upon listening to every damn love song, wondered a bunch of times if I would die from the pain, felt better sometimes, finally threw away/packed up any remaining items associated with him, and I'm still around. I guess tonight all I can think, despite how it ended (badly), despite things that I thought I'd regret, despite anything, I genuinely believe that there is something better out there. There's something different for me. A different life that I will grow to love one day, and I just need to believe it and have enough courage to take it all on and leave the past where it belongs...... My ex always believed that everything happens for a reason. So hey, maybe he's right about that, I don't know. What I do know is he's gone. And dammit, this is my life. Know what I mean? There's no more tomorrow for me.... Every day is my life and it's moving along all the time. I love all you guys and believe in every one of you, because I understand your pain, but I know we can rise abve it. That's all I wanna say . I can't wait to get to where you are, it must feel like your ontop of the word compared to where I am right now! Link to post Share on other sites
Author DontWorryBHappy Posted December 26, 2011 Author Share Posted December 26, 2011 Thanks. Thuthfully, I really AM doing better. But I will also say that a change in environment helps a lot. Right now I'm home for the holidays, away from the city where I was together with my ex. I'm going back there soon, but not for long, because I'm moving down here (well, pretty sure I am). But I mean, just being here has really made a difference. I've thought about my ex FAR FAR less than I did before. Right now I barely think about him, and if I do it's more of a passing thought. I actually don't even see the big deal about my ex anymore.. he doesn't have the same hold on me that he used to. I could even meet someone new right now and open myself to being with them, if they were in fact the right person. And that is really so cool . Oh yeah, I also deleted my facebook, and that has helped tremendously. My ex has his regular facebook page and another page with some stuff of his, plus there are people that we both know/knew that I don't really need to talk to again. So now there's no chance of me stumbling upon that stuff or typing his name one day because of "curiosity" or anything stupid like that. I even donated a little stuffed animal he gave me yesterday and got rid of everything else that had been tied to him. So he's been effectively erased. I feel good! But unfortunately, I've also learned that life has a way of just throwing different kinds of problems at you anyway. If it's not your ex, its something else.... But I like these problems better. lol Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Sounds like you've come a long way. I think that's awesome. Congrads. Link to post Share on other sites
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