alexa137 Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 I am so tired of the pain suffering crying and pain of losing the one i love-dont know how to stop! i think about him god knows probably more than 20 times a day! while i am laying in bed sleeping, when i wake up, any little thing reminds me of him-the hurt is terrible-im constantly crying, i think i have spent 80% of my adult life crying-i keep getting hurt- i cant help but not have feelings for someone- this is the 3rd in 5 yrs-the same thing over and over again! at 41 yrs old i still cant find a man to want me need me love me,act like they have feelings and care for me, fight for me, respond to my feelings etc. i can go on and on i constantly wonder and think about all the things we said and did together and how you just stop contacting someone- i dont hate him , really dont have a reason to-just wish he didnt play with my feelings- i just dont understand how someone cannot know how they feel about someone its just gets to me! i always pick the wrong ones even though i thought this one was the right one ugh! its terrible, i dont want to be sad during this holiday season but all i want for christmas is him! Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Hi Alexa I'm sorry you're going through so much pain. I've gotten my heart broken plenty of times and I too sometimes wonder about my compass (my people picker). Which is why I say we should just give up! Because, you know what, when the right guy shows up, you won't have to figure out if he is right for you. You won't doubt his feelings. He will just be right for you. It will make sense. It will not be complicated. In the meantime, I suggest we both go about enjoying our lives. As to the pain you're feeling, here's my trick: when I feel down, anxious, hurt, I force myself to accept the feelings. Whenever I try to fight them, I try to find a solution that will make the pain go away... And that's when everything goes downhill because then I start reminiscing, trying to figure out why I got hurt, trying to analyze the situation in a different way and it all only leads me to more pain, more anxiety, more sorrow. I've found the trick is to learn to live with some emotional pain. To accept that heartbreak hurts and to let it hurt. Wish you all the best Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I'm very sorry you are hurting. The holidays bring a lot of joy along with that sadness so opn yourself to it. Surround yourself with friends and family. But most of all, take care of yourself. Go out and do the things you want to do and make your own dreams come true. I've had my heart ripped out as well but I've changed my tune from the sad days and decided to take care of me. When I feel sad I just look at my bucket list and either knock something off or make the plans needed to do so. I've also been doing a lot of charitable things as for me at least, doing for others really perks me up like nothing else. Things will get better but for now focus on you and making your own dreams come true. Not your dreams with another, but your dreams for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted December 22, 2011 Author Share Posted December 22, 2011 well doing things especially on my bucket list would not be possible! due to no money i seriously only have 45 cents to my name! there are alot of things i would like to do like travel to an island, go to las vegas, visit my family in peru and Chille or florida or new york, but i am stuck home until i find a job and so far no luck! 2 yrs unemployed 246 job applications and not a 1 damn interview- i think its because of my age and the fact iw as fired from my previous job for making a mistake, and mind you i was there 12 yrs! so this is what my daily life consists of: cleaning, couponing, grocery store, more cleaning , computer, tv, cooking, cleaning and tv-my car wont start half the time so i dont risk going anywhere but the grocery store which is 3 miles away there are even little things i would like to do like go to the movies the mall bowling watch a sports game etc.. i can go on and on but cant Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Then make a list of free things you'd like to do. It says you are in Maryland and there are a ton of free museums here as well as a lot of great events that happen if you check craigslist or meetup.com I keep a busy and exciting life and spend next to nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
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