How do I not be single this time next year?

[somedude81]

This year sucked. No doubt about it. I spent a lot of time with a girl who couldn't return my feelings and now that's over, I have nothing at all to show for it. I turned 30 a few months ago. My skills with women are non-existent.

 

What can I do to make 2012 decent? I would like to accomplish something before the world ends.

[kaylan]

Gym+School/Career+Style=Confidence=Success in all facets of life, including dating.

 

Or

 

Gym Tan Laundry...youll still get girls...but youll party instead of worry so much about school and work lol

[somedude81]

I already work out and I'm going to college. Most likely graduating December 2012 or May '13.

[Cracker Jack]

Start hitting on more women. Seriously. In order to get better with this, you gotta change your approach. It doesn't even need to be in bars and clubs, since I know you don't prefer that.

 

I know you're into the idea of being friends with a woman before asking her out, but it just isn't working for you. Also, don't get fixated on one woman you believe you have a "connection" with, because as you know, it wastes precious time.

[iris219]

Make friends and develop an active social life.

 

(I've met almost every person I've ever dated either through friends or while out with friends.)

[azsinglegal]

If you're alone next year, come out to Arizona. Odds are...I'll be alone too. LOL

[kaylan]

OP, whats your stats...and got pics...I can give style pointers =P

[Feelsgoodman]

This year sucked. No doubt about it. I spent a lot of time with a girl who couldn't return my feelings and now that's over, I have nothing at all to show for it. I turned 30 a few months ago. My skills with women are non-existent.

 

What can I do to make 2012 decent? I would like to accomplish something before the world ends.

First and foremost, you need to stop complaining. No one likes a whiner. Second, you need determine what you're doing wrong and adjust your behavior accordingly.

[Lonely Ronin]

I think this is your problem right here, you need to learn to weed these women out as soon as possible. Relationships like this will drag you down faster than anything else.

 

I spent a lot of time with a girl who couldn't return my feelings and now that's over, I have nothing at all to show for it.

 

Don't worry about trying to hook-up/date, just get out and interact with women period. You salsa dance right? When a song starts walk up to the first woman you see who isn't with someone, and ask her to dance. It doesn't matter if you're attracted to her, just dance and when the song is over say thank you, and find another girl to dance with. More than anything else, I think you just need to interact with women who aren't rejecting you. When women start to see you as confident, you will find someone.

[Dust]

I hear Iris219 is hot we should put on a plane to come visit one of us eh Somedude?

 

Remember that time I offered for you to come out and vacation where I live? That offer still stands. You could also waste your money and fly me out to CA and put me up in a nice hotel. You already know what you need to do... TRY for once in your life. Actually ask out girls and persue them the way they love it... you know instead of wanting them to chase you. I would basically just force you to do those things haha. You've driven me a little crazy always having the same problem.

 

So, you know what to do. You always have. You're just afraid. Nothing to fear but fear itself right? So, stop saying you already did everything you haven't. Realize you don't need a girl to be happy. Then just try and enjoy the journey!

[iris219]

I hear Iris219 is hot we should put on a plane to come visit one of us eh Somedude?

 

Sorry boys! I'm too old for you and I know nothing about anime or video games.

 

However, I do think meeting up with some of the friends he's made online could be good for somedude. He needs to socialize more.

[Dust]

Sorry boys! I'm too old for you and I know nothing about anime or video games.

 

However, I do think meeting up with some of the friends he's made online could be good for somedude. He needs to socialize more.

 

How old are you? Somedude's in his thirty...

 

I like that you say no, but that he should meet some one online he's made friends with. Do you have a candidate to nominate? Would a pretty woman like to voulunteer herself to being sacrificed to feed the never ending need that is Somedude!

[93TheHitStick]

This year sucked. No doubt about it. I spent a lot of time with a girl who couldn't return my feelings and now that's over, I have nothing at all to show for it. I turned 30 a few months ago. My skills with women are non-existent.

 

What can I do to make 2012 decent? I would like to accomplish something before the world ends.

No offense bro. But get off the internet. You have that many posts on a dating site yet your woman skills are "non existent"

 

You don't need skills with woman. Only time you need to have "skills" is when you are just trying to get laid. If a woman is going to like you she is gonna like you because of you.

 

GEt to know a lot of girls and you will magically have a girlfriend.

[jobaba]

This year sucked. No doubt about it. I spent a lot of time with a girl who couldn't return my feelings and now that's over, I have nothing at all to show for it. I turned 30 a few months ago. My skills with women are non-existent.

 

What can I do to make 2012 decent? I would like to accomplish something before the world ends.

 

First off...

 

Consider women who are non-white. I find it hard to believe that a man who has been as unsuccessful as you with women (by your own admission) cannot find any physical attraction to any black, Latina, white, Asian, Indian, or Middle Eastern woman. God, there are f@cking fine ones out there.

 

What's wrong with you guys? Were you raised by David Duke?

 

Start there...

[Oxy Moronovich]

One word: prostitutes. California is full of them. Why not give the underground economy a boost?

[somedude81]

Start hitting on more women. Seriously. In order to get better with this, you gotta change your approach. It doesn't even need to be in bars and clubs, since I know you don't prefer that.

 

I know you're into the idea of being friends with a woman before asking her out, but it just isn't working for you. Also, don't get fixated on one woman you believe you have a "connection" with, because as you know, it wastes precious time.

I know I have to change my approach, but to what and how is the question.

 

As I make mistakes, I learn what not to do for next time. Getting fixated on one woman so much is one such mistake. But there are so many more to make and it is a really poor way to learn.

Make friends and develop an active social life.

 

(I've met almost every person I've ever dated either through friends or while out with friends.)

That's actually much harder than it sounds. I have tried to make friends. It's actually easier finding girls to hang out with than getting an active social life.

If you're alone next year, come out to Arizona. Odds are...I'll be alone too. LOL

Why Miss Legal, are you propositioning me? You are into younger men aren't you

OP, whats your stats...and got pics...I can give style pointers =P

ROFL, your avatar is Hard Gay.

 

My stats?

 

I'm 5'6, 150lbs, 30 year old half white/half Cuban, light skin, dark hair. I can PM you some pics.

First and foremost, you need to stop complaining. No one likes a whiner. Second, you need determine what you're doing wrong and adjust your behavior accordingly.

I only complain on here. I know better than to moan at people I see IRL.

 

I'd love to find out what I'm doing wrong and how to change my behavior. If I only knew what and how.

I think this is your problem right here, you need to learn to weed these women out as soon as possible. Relationships like this will drag you down faster than anything else.

 

Don't worry about trying to hook-up/date, just get out and interact with women period. You salsa dance right? When a song starts walk up to the first woman you see who isn't with someone, and ask her to dance. It doesn't matter if you're attracted to her, just dance and when the song is over say thank you, and find another girl to dance with. More than anything else, I think you just need to interact with women who aren't rejecting you. When women start to see you as confident, you will find someone.

I've been "just getting out and interacting with women" for years now. I need to move on to the next step.

 

How do you go from saying "Thank you for the dance" to "wham bam thank you ma'am?" There is a huge piece missing and I just can't see what it is.

I hear Iris219 is hot we should put on a plane to come visit one of us eh Somedude?

 

Remember that time I offered for you to come out and vacation where I live? That offer still stands. You could also waste your money and fly me out to CA and put me up in a nice hotel. You already know what you need to do... TRY for once in your life. Actually ask out girls and persue them the way they love it... you know instead of wanting them to chase you. I would basically just force you to do those things haha. You've driven me a little crazy always having the same problem.

 

So, you know what to do. You always have. You're just afraid. Nothing to fear but fear itself right? So, stop saying you already did everything you haven't. Realize you don't need a girl to be happy. Then just try and enjoy the journey!

I have been trying. I've asked out every girl I've been interested in. It's not like I just sit at home and complain how girls don't like me without ever seeing for myself.

 

I know I'm going to get rejected by a handful of girls that I like next year and that's what I'm getting tired of.

 

I think the first thing I need to do is figure out what I want and then see if it's even feasible.

 

And yes, there is fear because of my inexperience.

No offense bro. But get off the internet. You have that many posts on a dating site yet your woman skills are "non existent"

 

You don't need skills with woman. Only time you need to have "skills" is when you are just trying to get laid. If a woman is going to like you she is gonna like you because of you.

 

GEt to know a lot of girls and you will magically have a girlfriend.

I don't need skills to have women?

 

Bro, I'm 30 year's old and I've never had a GF. I've only kissed one girl in my entire life and she was a fatty.

 

That is what having no skills gets you.

 

Girls have never liked me, because of me. That sounds like the "just be yourself" bullsh*t that gets passed around.

[93TheHitStick]

don't need skills to have women?

 

Bro, I'm 30 year's old and I've never had a GF. I've only kissed one girl in my entire life and she was a fatty.

 

That is what having no skills gets you.

 

Girls have never liked me, because of me. That sounds like the "just be yourself" bullsh*t that gets passed around.

Lol. Are you trolling? Or is this real?

 

Okay first of all you have only kissed one girl and she was a fatty? And you only date white woman? One of the reasons you are still a virgin man.

 

You don't sound like mr.popular yourself. If you wanna get with hot girls... be hot. Its that simple. If you are 300 pounds with zits don't wonder why the megan fox doesn't want you. Lower your standards. And magically you will be gettin blown left and right.

 

Skills do not equal girlfriend. If a girl likes you. SHE LIKES YOU. Wtf is "skills" gonna do to help that. There is no such thing as "woman skills" Maybe you need some "people skills"

 

Or you can try to be fake mr. fun guy. But if that isn't you there really is no point. Be yourself. Make conversation with girls. Girls have sex with you. That is how it works.

[Dust]

Lol. Are you trolling? Or is this real?

 

Okay first of all you have only kissed one girl and she was a fatty? And you only date white woman? One of the reasons you are still a virgin man.

 

You don't sound like mr.popular yourself. If you wanna get with hot girls... be hot. Its that simple. If you are 300 pounds with zits don't wonder why the megan fox doesn't want you. Lower your standards. And magically you will be gettin blown left and right.

 

Skills do not equal girlfriend. If a girl likes you. SHE LIKES YOU. Wtf is "skills" gonna do to help that. There is no such thing as "woman skills" Maybe you need some "people skills"

 

Or you can try to be fake mr. fun guy. But if that isn't you there really is no point. Be yourself. Make conversation with girls. Girls have sex with you. That is how it works.

 

He says he's had sex at some swinger party he paid to get into.

 

How old are you hitstick?

 

He does need people skills. He also just needs to try. Even the times he claims to have tried like with the last girl he has stories of her comming back to his place just the two of them and he did not so much as try to kiss her... so what do we have a guy who barely talks to any girls, and considers just being friendly with them trying...

[iris219]

Please work on making friends. Yes, it will be difficult, but worth it. I don't know how guys make friends--through shared interests I guess. Try a shared interest meet up group. Can you get a roommate? That's a quick way to make friends. Try hanging out at a local bar. You'll meet regulars who are often single men. Are there any guys you can hang out with from work?

 

Having a social network will open up a whole new world for you. You will be less lonely and you'll meet potential dates through friends. Also, many women will find it odd that you don't have friends, so that will hurt you when it comes to dating.

[Sanman]

Here is a break down for you Somedude. You can't get any girl you like. Any man's choices are limited to the women that are interested in him. Read that again...INTERESTED in him. If you can't get a first date simply by asking, it will not work. Ask any woman that you can have 30 minutes of conversation with out. That is all a woman should need to make a decision about whether she will give you a shot. See which women will date you and decide between all the women that will give you more than 3 dates. This may only be one woman. Then you decide whether being single is better than dating her. That is about it.

[Lonely Ronin]

How do you go from saying "Thank you for the dance" to "wham bam thank you ma'am?" There is a huge piece missing and I just can't see what it is.

 

Most women can see the "wham bam thank you ma'am?" intent from a mile away.

 

Now if your looking for a relationship, then you need to learn how to read women so you know who is attracted to you. It's an art and takes practice. Some simple clues are looking into your eyes & smiling, breaking eye contact and quickly reestablishing it, talkative etc etc.

 

Do you introduce yourself if you don't know her? If she tells you her name and you like her, you need to remember her name. Running into her at the club a week or 2 later and being able to remember her name, is almost always well received if she is into you. while dancing basic chitchat is a good idea as well.

 

Dancing with the same girl a couple times in a night, but not asking for her number is usually taken as interested but not desperate.

 

I've been "just getting out and interacting with women" for years now. I need to move on to the next step.

[Els]

Chances are you'll have more luck once you graduate. It's really quite superficial, but women who go for older men (as you are 30 and are going for women in their early 20s) tend to expect them to be working, not in college alongside them.

 

Full speed ahead for Dec 2012, I say.

[Dust]

Chances are you'll have more luck once you graduate. It's really quite superficial, but women who go for older men (as you are 30 and are going for women in their early 20s) tend to expect them to be working, not in college alongside them.

 

Full speed ahead for Dec 2012, I say.

 

Women do go for older men. He's an older man with very few of the powers older men have though. No experience, still in school, and awkward.

 

Still if he just tried... all he has to do is really chase some girls. Make a move. I mean he got the girl he liked back to his place just him and her... he didn't so much as make a move. His big move is always to tell a girl he likes her after a year of knowing her... thats like not even a move.

[AD1980]

Women are shallow as hell these days,either find a women much uglier then you or get a hooker

 

Im in the same boat as you except im 31 ive given up

[Dust]

Women are shallow as hell these days,either find a women much uglier then you or get a hooker

 

Im in the same boat as you except im 31 ive given up

 

You've given up thats why your in the boat. Tell me whens the last time you just had a good time with a women. Flirted with her. Whens the last time you just grabbed a girls hand? You don't try!