How do I not be single this time next year?

[Dust]

They say there is a temple deep with in the Himilayan mountains. It was built in order to keep at bay a demoness. If you travel through the mountains and learn the teaching of the gurus maybe when you come back you'll be able to get women... in fact before you come back you should travel through the philopines or eastern europe and you'll probably find a hot wife...

[somedude81]

Chances are you'll have more luck once you graduate. It's really quite superficial, but women who go for older men (as you are 30 and are going for women in their early 20s) tend to expect them to be working, not in college alongside them.

 

Full speed ahead for Dec 2012, I say.

I really don't want to wait till I graduate to start dating. I'm going to be 31. The thought of having to wait even longer is so depressing

As a 23 year old, if I was dating a guy in his thirties and he was still in school, I'd take it as a red flag. That might not be fair but in my experience with older guys, the ones who were still in school were either alcoholics or degenerates in general who had hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt.

I just turned 30 and look much younger than I am.

 

I only went to college to get my degree after I worked for a few years. What is so wrong with that?

 

I only got a couple thousands of dollars of debt.

 

I hope 2012 works out better for you -- ignore these bitter dudes trying to drag you down to their level. Women can smell desperation. I'm sure this is incredibly frustrating and I really hope it works out for you.

Thanks.

 

Are you guys even aiming for women in your league?

Here's a thread I made on the very subject.

 

Nobody thought she was above me.

 

I think all the women I go after are in my league and I make it a point to not go for the super hotties.

 

The trouble seems to be that women only want men who are higher than they are.

 

And let me add this.

 

Because men do most of the chasing, and some go after anything with a vagina a lot the time, even the most plain of the plain girls will have guys talk to her as long as shes cute.

 

So dudes on this forum who dont do well with girls need to always make sure all their game is up to par.

 

Gym game

Style game

School/Career game

 

All of it!

That's another problem, leagues don't really apply to women, meaning they aren't limited. As long as a girl looks decent, she'll get plenty of attention.

Honestly, Dust is right. It's about consistently trying, even after facing multiple rejections. This year I haven't asked nearly as many girls as I have wanted to and made excuses for myself. Bottom line is, how can you go on dates when you don't ask girls out? It takes a lot of effort and sometimes you really have to force yourself but this coming year, I'm going to ask more girls out, much more. Worst thing that can happen is I get rejected and improve on my approaching and conversational skills

There has got to be more to it then asking out and subsequently getting rejected by a ton of women.

 

Also, how do you improve your skills when you don't get any feedback besides a no?

Hey buddy

 

You need to start off with changing the way you view the matter bro. Think positive and it'll show on the outside. Be confident, because women love men that show confidence and are able to socially interact with them (and others) very well. It shows high social value, which women find extremely attractive.

 

Helpful article:

 

http://www.scribd.com/doc/4654457/Attract-Women-With-4-Routines-From-Black-Belt-Seduction

 

Max

Think positive?

 

There is absolutely nothing positive to think about.

 

I'll check out your link.

 

Get yourself into more situations where you can interact with women in real life, regardless of whether you are romantically interested in those women. That might mean joining an interest group for some hobby or sport, and you might even have to take up a new hobby to do it. Talk to those women. Get comfortable (through practice) in having conversations with women where you can find out things like whether they are married or have a boyfriend or whether they have kids.

 

Also, get comfortable having the same conversation with guys. A lot of "women skills" are just "people skills", especially when it comes to conversation.

I'm actually pretty good at finding out if girls are single, I can just make it come up in casual conversation and they have no idea that I'm doing it to check their relationship status.

 

What I need to do is present myself in a way that says I'm not looking just to make a new friend.

 

Also as I posted before, I have a hard time being able to tell interest from being friendly.

Funny...my name is actually for "Arizona Single Gal"

LOL, that wasn't close at all close to what I thought your name meant. Remember when I thougt you were Asian? I thought your name stood for Asian Sing Legal. The mystery is now solved.

And why yes, I do like younger men. Funny you should say that.

I've got no clue how to interpret that...

 

We've also talked about this in PM. You know what I think. I think you sell yourself short and then pick the wrong women.

I sell myself short because all my life women have been telling me that I'm not good enough.

 

How much pride, self-respect and value can one in my situation attribute to himself? I'm not delusional. I've basically been shunned by women, I'd be an idiot to think that it's all them and not me.

I agree with this... I have found that women seem more interested in me now that I work full time in a professional job in my field of study than when I was a university student. I'm sure some here will get their shorts in a wad and start waving the "women are shallow!" banner, but the fact of the matter is that women like guys with financial stability and a career.

If that was the case, no man without a career would date.

 

But that's obviously not the way things are.

 

There are many of these "qualifiers" that will earn you brownie-points with the ladies. Predictably, I will always maintain that putting on more muscle while maintaining at least some level of leanness will help a guy attract, in physical terms, more females. You say you go to the gym, which is great. Consider stepping it up a few notches and take it from "I go to the gym to be healthy and blow off steam" to "I go to the gym to train with a purpose". You might even look into powerlifting/bodybuilding clubs in your area. Yes, you'll likely be a weakling compared to the other guys at first, but you also might find an extremely supportive group of individuals more than willing to share their knowledge and experiences with you. Doing something like this would likely have a massive effect on your physique/confidence/social life by next year. Sometimes, it's about who you associate with...

Dude, I'm 5'6 and an ectomorph, I'm never going to be big.

 

Having a diverse set of interesting hobbies is a plus (girls like adventure). This doesn't mean you have to own a boat, be able to rent a condo at a ski resort, fly all over the world, etc. (even though that would help, hahaha). I know plenty of guys who are dirt poor but still get plenty of female attention because they're interesting people: they go out and explore the world around them. They're into things like backpacking/hiking, frisbee golf, bike riding, and an assorted array of other activities beyond video games, TV, internet, etc.

How do those things actually help with getting women? No I'm not trying to be rude.

See, for someone who wants pity and understanding for his situation, you sound like a jerk. You can't expect people to like you for you, if you can't do the same thing for other people.

I sound like a jerk because I'm not interested in obese women?

 

And no, I don't want pity and understanding, I want to know how to change my POS life.

Tell you what you need somedude? You need that successful guy friend to keep pushing you and getting you to constantly talk to women. He would encourage you and make things pretty fun. I wish I had someone like that but many of us don't... and have to solo it.

Yeah, I've never had a guy friend that was good with women. Even harder is to find somebody like that who can push me. And it has to be more than just pushing me.

 

I could try getting back into the PU thing and maybe get a wingman. Just the whole thought of going to bars and clubs trying to get random girls just seems stupid. Guess it depends on how desperate I am.

 

I really don't know what advice to give but to really just keep trying. I do think you're a decent guy but the lack of success has gotten to (as it would for many of us) and it's hard not to forget it. If you find yourself jaded, do something for yourself, something fun and forget about girls, just for a little while.... and then start approaching women again

Yeah, the lack of success has really gotten to me. It has had a deep, fundamental impact on my personality and how I think.

 

Video games and anime are the things I enjoy doing the most to take my mind off of women. But it's impossible to completely forget women.

 

I'm planning on doing a hiatus from women until school starts in February. Then I'm going to start trying, and failing again

By the way, I can relate to you when you tried to get an active social life and make friends. I really tried this year and at the end of the year, I can honestly say I have no new friends I can hang out with and my social life isn't any better. It's a lot harder than I thought. Most people have their own groups already and if I don't fit in with their dynamics, then I won't be part of it. So, I've decided to not put so much pressure on myself to just intentionally make friends but rather just pursue my interests, at least three or four, and have friends there who I can share a common interest with.

The bold is something that I completely deal with. It seems so hard to join an established group. Also I don't know how to make a guy friend and hang out. It's just so much easier with women.

If that is the case, you are doing a poor job of asking women out. You don't need signals. If you can hold a conversation with a girl for more than 15 minutes, you simply grab your balls, remember you are a man, and ask if she would like to go out on a date. I don't know how you are asking these women out, but I have never had that happen on a date. The girl always knew she was going out on a date.

That's something I've been wondering about for a long time. Do people actually use the word date?

 

Lets say I meet a girl in one of my classes and want to get to know her better. How would I invite her to spend time with me?

 

 

You claim that you are neither tall nor good looking. You are 30 and still in college? Guess what, the women who have said yes to you are the ones in your league. If that is comprised of 'fatties' as you put it, your choices are them or your right hand.

The fat girl that I "dated" pursued me and that was the only reason we had our thing.

 

I've been able to go out with a range of women on really casual "dates" and some knew I liked them. But they all eventually turned me down.

 

As for having to choose between fat girls that I have zero interest/attraction in and my hand, hands down, my hand wins.

 

Your other option is to ask more women out until you find one that you like and will date you. This could mean asking and being rejected by hundreds of women, but you only need to find one. You are not entitled to a woman you perceive to be attractive. I know many guys in your position that say the same things as you and are chronically single.

Getting rejected by hundreds of women, means I'll have to ask out women based solely on their appearance and nothing else.

 

But that's probably what I'm doing wrong, trying to get to know somebody for more than 20 minutes before I ask her out.

 

My gf is not a 'hottie' and you might even refer to her as a 'fatty' given that she is larger than a size 6. However, She has a very pretty face, has her act together career-wise, many things in common with me, and is one of the most wonderful people I have ever met. I could have continued having disastrous relationships with size 4-6 hotties for years. However, I needed to take a stark, honest look at myself and realize that this particular woman was a better match for me than the women I have been pursuing and dating. Since that time, it has been (by far) the best relationship of my life.

I really only consider a girl a fatty if she's really overweight. Any girl who is shorter than I am and weighs more than I do is fat. I don't have a clue how female sizes works.

 

Looking around at my friends, I see them marrying similar types of women rather than the types of women I used to date. To put things in perspective, I am two years younger than you, 6' tall, and a doctor, but a rather average looking guy otherwise.

What perspective?

---

 

Looking back, I think my primary problem is that I don't understand women or how to properly interact with them. I am completely confused by girls and don't know how to be anything more than friends with them.

 

How do I start to change this?

[cerridwen]

 

Looking back, I think my primary problem is that I don't understand women or how to properly interact with them. I am completely confused by girls and don't know how to be anything more than friends with them.

 

How do I start to change this?

 

Two things:

1) What happened to Geek 2 Geek or whatever that site was I suggested ages ago?

 

2) How seriously have you looked into a dating coach. Yes, I know you're a student and yes, I know they cost money, but SD, something's got to give.

[2.50 a gallon]

It is as simple as that

 

From what I have read, you are your own worst enemy. My first impression of you is that you are a complaining loser. And if I got that message, that is the first impression that most women get when they meet you.

 

You make excuses and then you go out of your way to defend them.

 

Example: "I'm 5' 6" and an ectomorph. I'm never going to be big"

 

This is only a excuse.

 

How do I know? I have been a shrimp all of my life. When I started high school I was one of the smallest guys in my class. My sister who was in the 6th grade was taller than me.

 

I tried to work out and put on muscles. I would work out then eat and drink high energy protein meals and drinks. As my doctor would later point out, when I developed a sleeping problem, I was wasting my time, all I was doing was putting more gasolene in my gas tank.

 

I finally reached my height at about age 19 or 20. And then my weight varied from 120 to 135. I had a problem gaining weight. I lived and worked in the heat, during winter I would gain a few pounds, and then sweat if off in the summer. I had to take a box of chocolate bars or two a day to work just to keep up my energy level, along with a constant supply of soft drinks and bags of chips.

 

And when it comes to the looks department, I am not the best looking guy in the world.

 

And when it comes to my taste in women, I am a leg man, especially long legs, which in turn means that most women that I am attracted to are taller then me. And most women are attracted to men who are taller then them

 

So what? They are also attracted by other things. Can he make them laugh? Is he a fun guy? Does he get out and do things or does he sit around moping.

 

Can you dance? Learn! The best pick up line in the world is "Would like to dance?"

 

And don't give me that excuse about having two left feet. Practice, practice, practice and keep practicing. I was once went out to a disco with a group of friends. Amongst the group was a gal we guys nicknamed "Oh My God" as that was your first thought as a man when you met her. She was a definite 11. But she was very religious. So it was guite a shock when she announced that she would F... that guy that was dancing, just to be able to dance with him. All the the gals in our group agreed with her. Guess what, he was short and skinny, but could he dance and shake his booty.

 

I learned to dance in high school, as most of the jocks would only dance with the girls during the slow dances. I pretty much had my pick of partners during the hot numbers. And when the slow dances came around they already had me as a partner.

 

In fact, after it was established that I knew how to dance, the gals used to hang around me, hoping that I would ask them. And they also used to ask me by letting me know that they expected at least one dance with them that night.

[2.50 a gallon]

Instead of concentrating on the negative, start thinking on the positive.

 

The truth is the world is your oyster, go get it.

 

You are close to getting a college degree. You are still young yet. You don't have any debilitating illness. You are not wheel chair bound

 

You are lucky enough to be living in the greatest country that the world has ever seen. Our stores are lined with food and the other necessities of life.

 

You don't have to get up every morning and walk a mile of more just to get some water.

 

You don't have to get up every morning and tend crops or animals just so you can feeed yourself.

 

You don't live under an oppressive government that tells you what to thing or do.

 

Way over half of the people in this world would gladly trade places with you.

[2.50 a gallon]

It is as simple as that

 

From what I have read, you are your own worst enemy. My first impression of you is that you are a complaining loser. And if I got that message, that is the first impression that most women get when they meet you.

 

You make excuses and then you go out of your way to defend them.

 

Example: "I'm 5' 6" and an ectomorph. I'm never going to be big"

 

This is only a excuse.

 

How do I know? I have been a shrimp all of my life. When I started high school I was one of the smallest guys in my class. My sister who was in the 6th grade was taller than me.

 

I tried to work out and put on muscles. I would work out then eat and drink high energy protein meals and drinks. As my doctor would later point out, when I developed a sleeping problem, I was wasting my time, all I was doing was putting more gasolene in my gas tank.

 

I finally reached my height at about age 19 or 20. And then my weight varied from 120 to 135. I had a problem gaining weight. I lived and worked in the heat, during winter I would gain a few pounds, and then sweat if off in the summer. I had to take a box of chocolate bars or two a day to work just to keep up my energy level, along with a constant supply of soft drinks and bags of chips.

 

And when it comes to the looks department, I am not the best looking guy in the world.

 

And when it comes to my taste in women, I am a leg man, especially long legs, which in turn means that most women that I am attracted to are taller then me. And most women are attracted to men who are taller then them

 

So what? They are also attracted by other things. Can he make them laugh? Is he a fun guy? Does he get out and do things or does he sit around moping.

 

Can you dance? Learn! The best pick up line in the world is "Would like to dance?"

 

And don't give me that excuse about having two left feet. Practice, practice, practice and keep practicing. I was once went out to a disco with a group of friends. Amongst the group was a gal we guys nicknamed "Oh My God" as that was your first thought as a man when you met her. She was a definite 11. But she was very religious. So it was guite a shock when she announced that she would F... that guy that was dancing, just to be able to dance with him. All the the gals in our group agreed with her. Guess what, he was short and skinny, but could he dance and shake his booty.

 

I learned to dance in high school, as most of the jocks would only dance with the girls during the slow dances. I pretty much had my pick of partners during the hot numbers. And when the slow dances came around they already had me as a partner.

 

In fact, after it was established that I knew how to dance, the gals used to hang around me, hoping that I would ask them. And they also used to ask me by letting me know that they expected at least one dance with them that night.

[cerridwen]

And another thing!..

 

Don't tell me no useful advice can be gleaned from your epic thread in the Self Improvement section.

It was over 60 pages long and some of the most insightful posters gave you an earful.

What are your thoughts on revisiting it for helpful hints?

Edited December 24, 2011 by cerridwen

[Els]

I'm not saying you have to wait to graduate. You can start now, but I think it would be nice to be able to look forward to the end of next year knowing that your chances will shoot up then.

[PlumPrincess]

I sound like a jerk because I'm not interested in obese women?

No, you sound like a jerk, because you called a woman who was overweight, but interested in you, a fatty.

 

If a woman had that attitude about an overweight guy who approached her, you would be the first to complain about the shallowness and arrogance of women. Women are supposed to feel flattered about every guy who approaches her, but guys can be choosy, right?

[counterman]

There has got to be more to it then asking out and subsequently getting rejected by a ton of women.

 

Also, how do you improve your skills when you don't get any feedback besides a no?

 

Well, doing the exact same things over and over again and hoping the result will change would be futile. In saying that, there could be tonnes of reasons why a girl rejects a guy, which may have nothing to do with how you approached or what you said.

 

As for feedback, I've only asked one girl for feedback. What I was doing wrong was approaching with a 'big' compliment and most gorgeous girls have heard that they're 'beautiful' many times before and it's boosts their ego. Basically, I wasn't being a challenge and they knew that had me even before they've had the chance to earn it. On top of that, some girls don't like a guy who they think only likes them for their looks. I've taken the feedback with a grain of salt, as I believe she probably just wasn't attracted.

 

As for improving, I think it's very clear when a girl is into the conversation. She usually starts asking a lot of questions about me and giving her own answers to her own questions and draws off things I tell her to go deeper. I usually know when I've said something 'wrong' to make the conversation awkward or uncomfortable and make a note not to do that again. And I remember what stories had the most impact on people so I can tell it again (but different people may respond differently to certain stories). So when I meet someone new, I introduce myself and see where I go from there and just try to have a good conversation, sometimes it's light, flirty banter, other times its more exploratory; to each their own. It's getting more comfortable with the situation and myself and with approaching girls.

 

Yeah, I've never had a guy friend that was good with women. Even harder is to find somebody like that who can push me. And it has to be more than just pushing me.

 

I could try getting back into the PU thing and maybe get a wingman. Just the whole thought of going to bars and clubs trying to get random girls just seems stupid. Guess it depends on how desperate I am.

 

Some people do need to be pushed and even forced into doing things. I know some of my friends who will NEVER approach girls, even after I've encouraged and pushed them to. Doing nothing gets you nowhere.

 

What the pick-up thing does is it makes you put yourself out there and just practice talking to approaching and talking to random women. However, I am not fan of 'routines' as I think it's too rigid and boring. And I don't like going to bars and clubs. If you think it's stupid, then maybe you can practise approaching women in the daytime? I don't know, just a suggestion

 

Yeah, the lack of success has really gotten to me. It has had a deep, fundamental impact on my personality and how I think.

 

Video games and anime are the things I enjoy doing the most to take my mind off of women. But it's impossible to completely forget women.

 

I'm planning on doing a hiatus from women until school starts in February. Then I'm going to start trying, and failing again

 

It has and it gets to a lot of people, so you're not alone there. Sometimes it affects other important aspects of people's lives i.e. friendships, family and occupation. I see it more in isolation and try not to let it dominate my life, as it can really be something that one obsesses over; there's more to life.

 

Of course it's impossible to forget women completely. It was even harder to not think about when I first had physical contact. Those sexual urges are partly why we care so much about it. But doing other things would more or less keep you enjoying life, even if its momentary.

 

Well, maybe having a bit of fun doing your own thing until school starts would renew your vigour. Plus you can approach girls on your campus when school starts.

[oldshirt]

As a 23 year old, if I was dating a guy in his thirties and he was still in school, I'd take it as a red flag. That might not be fair but in my experience with older guys, the ones who were still in school were either alcoholics or degenerates in general who had hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt.

 

 

Wow! You are waaaaaayyyy off base here!

 

There are millions of adult students who are changing carreers, striving to improve their current carreers or have gotten to a place in their lives where they have the extra time and money to pursue a completely different educational path.

 

There are literally millions of people that have pursued other goals in their youth that have decided to continue their educations in other directions. I know doctors that pursued other careers and didn't go to med school untill they were in their 40s.

 

I know several lawyers that were previously nurses and one that was even a doctor that started law school in their late 30s or 40s. Should those people be red flagged????

 

Even if someone truly was an alcoholic or heavily indebted in their youth, is that a reason that they should be slammed for striving to improve themselves???????????????????????

 

Education is a lifelong process and people's lives take many different paths over the course of their life. Many adult students have had full, rich carreers and lives during the course of their life and it doesn't mean that they partied and drank away their youth.......and even the few that did still deserve respect for striving to improve themselves and turning their lives around.

[TheFinalWord]

Wow! You are waaaaaayyyy off base here!

 

There are millions of adult students who are changing carreers, striving to improve their current carreers or have gotten to a place in their lives where they have the extra time and money to pursue a completely different educational path.

 

There are literally millions of people that have pursued other goals in their youth that have decided to continue their educations in other directions. I know doctors that pursued other careers and didn't go to med school untill they were in their 40s.

 

I know several lawyers that were previously nurses and one that was even a doctor that started law school in their late 30s or 40s. Should those people be red flagged????

 

Even if someone truly was an alcoholic or heavily indebted in their youth, is that a reason that they should be slammed for striving to improve themselves???????????????????????

 

Education is a lifelong process and people's lives take many different paths over the course of their life. Many adult students have had full, rich carreers and lives during the course of their life and it doesn't mean that they partied and drank away their youth.......and even the few that did still deserve respect for striving to improve themselves and turning their lives around.

 

Yeah, her perception is off...BUT...you should glean something important from what she said. A lot of girls do have this perception and you should be prepared to counter it when going for girls in their mid-20s. Especially if the new career you're aiming for isn't going to be big money.

 

A lot of times on this site girls will say what they think and it gets blown off by the guys. Yes their thinking is not always accurate, but a lot of perceptions (guys and girls) are not accurate. It's still good to be knowledgeable about the general perceptions girls have so you can be prepared to counter them. And if a girl will not give you an honest chance to address her misconceptions then you've saved yourself a hassle.

[Dust]

Yeah, her perception is off...BUT...you should glean something important from what she said. A lot of girls do have this perception and you should be prepared to counter it when going for girls in their mid-20s. Especially if the new career you're aiming for isn't going to be big money.

 

A lot of times on this site girls will say what they think and it gets blown off by the guys. Yes their thinking is not always accurate, but a lot of perceptions (guys and girls) are not accurate. It's still good to be knowledgeable about the general perceptions girls have so you can be prepared to counter them. And if a girl will not give you an honest chance to address her misconceptions then you've saved yourself a hassle.

 

Most girls perceptions are quite wild and wrong. Most women just assume all men are dangerous untill proven otherwise anyways. Hows that food for thought?

[TheFinalWord]

Most girls perceptions are quite wild and wrong. Most women just assume all men are dangerous untill proven otherwise anyways. Hows that food for thought?

 

Hey Dust, what do you mean "dangerous"? Can you clarify? You mean lack of trust? Yes, I do agree! It takes time to build trust; a lot of girls have been burnt in the past so they put a guard up. You can see that in my post But like you guys said if a girl liked me she would give me a chance to show I can be trusted.

 

I do agree with OLD that it can be potentially physically dangerous for a woman. I would be careful if I was a girl with OLD and meeting up. I try to do what I can to allay those fears. I will usually drive to a place where they feel comfortable in a public setting. I think girls are justified in not just trusting a total stranger.

 

At any rate, I'll be off here for a few days for the holiday. Have a merry Christmas!

 

Maybe this

 

Edited December 24, 2011 by TheFinalWord
video

[Dust]

Hey Dust, what do you mean "dangerous"? Can you clarify? You mean lack of trust? Yes, I do agree! It takes time to build trust; a lot of girls have been burnt in the past so they put a guard up. You can see that in my post But like you guys said if a girl liked me she would give me a chance to show I can be trusted.

 

I do agree with OLD that it can be potentially physically dangerous for a woman. I would be careful if I was a girl with OLD and meeting up. I try to do what I can to allay those fears. I will usually drive to a place where they feel comfortable in a public setting. I think girls are justified in not just trusting a total stranger.

 

At any rate, I'll be off here for a few days for the holiday. Have a merry Christmas!

 

I think girls are afraid of men in very nonsensical ways. They often get attracted to a true dangerous man if he is the "right kind" of dangerous. Women just get creeped out etc. way to fast thats why I think its better for men not to worry about that stuff.

[TheFinalWord]

I think girls are afraid of men in very nonsensical ways. They often get attracted to a true dangerous man if he is the "right kind" of dangerous. Women just get creeped out etc. way to fast thats why I think its better for men not to worry about that stuff.

 

Yeah, I see what you are saying.

 

I like what the guy said in that video. There are small things a guy does during those initial few dates that can scare a woman off. Women basically take their dating experience and categorize men they don't like in three ways:

 

1) boring

2) desperate

3) jealous

 

So if we do something that gives them a red flag early, like calling too much at first, asking too many personal questions about their social life up front, or don't come off with a fun personality, they bail. I think I've made all of those mistakes at one time or another. I am learning though. 2012 is gonna be different for me. I am reading this forum like crazy to soak up as much knowledge as I can

[Ross MwcFan]

So much jumping through hoops, so many requirements that we have to fill. Just makes it feel like it's not even worth it.

[somedude81]

Two things:

1) What happened to Geek 2 Geek or whatever that site was I suggested ages ago?

 

2) How seriously have you looked into a dating coach. Yes, I know you're a student and yes, I know they cost money, but SD, something's got to give.

1. Online dating is really scary and I just don't know if I have a chance. But I'm on winter break from school so I might as well try.

 

I think I'll start making a profile in a bit.

 

2. I've already spent somewhere around three grand on dating coaches and the like. They really haven't done much for me, but that could be because they were structured programs. My situation seems to be really unique and I most likely would need a very specific coach.

 

One thing I've been thinking about, is that I could probably really benefit from a female coach who can evaluate me on how I interact with her and other women. I've never really gotten the female perspective side of things. It seems to be more helpful than having some dude giving me a routine and then telling me to try it on girls at bars.

And another thing!..

 

Don't tell me no useful advice can be gleaned from your epic thread in the Self Improvement section.

It was over 60 pages long and some of the most insightful posters gave you an earful.

What are your thoughts on revisiting it for helpful hints?

Ugh, that thread. At least 95% of it focused on D, I really don't know how much of it I can use. I can look through it again, but I'll need to prepare myself first before I delve into that beast.

Change your attitude

 

It is as simple as that

 

From what I have read, you are your own worst enemy. My first impression of you is that you are a complaining loser. And if I got that message, that is the first impression that most women get when they meet you.

Did you stop to think that your impression of me that I'm a complaining loser is because I made a thread and complain in my posts in an anonymous forum?

 

Now do you think I'm stupid enough to complain to people in real life?

 

 

You make excuses and then you go out of your way to defend them.

 

Example: "I'm 5' 6" and an ectomorph. I'm never going to be big"

 

This is only a excuse.

 

How do I know? I have been a shrimp all of my life. When I started high school I was one of the smallest guys in my class. My sister who was in the 6th grade was taller than me.

 

I tried to work out and put on muscles. I would work out then eat and drink high energy protein meals and drinks. As my doctor would later point out, when I developed a sleeping problem, I was wasting my time, all I was doing was putting more gasolene in my gas tank.

 

I finally reached my height at about age 19 or 20. And then my weight varied from 120 to 135. I had a problem gaining weight. I lived and worked in the heat, during winter I would gain a few pounds, and then sweat if off in the summer. I had to take a box of chocolate bars or two a day to work just to keep up my energy level, along with a constant supply of soft drinks and bags of chips.

Sorry, what's your point?

And when it comes to the looks department, I am not the best looking guy in the world.

 

And when it comes to my taste in women, I am a leg man, especially long legs, which in turn means that most women that I am attracted to are taller then me. And most women are attracted to men who are taller then them

Same question as before.

 

You like taller women, are you able to date them?

 

So what? They are also attracted by other things. Can he make them laugh? Is he a fun guy? Does he get out and do things or does he sit around moping.

Can you dance? Learn! The best pick up line in the world is "Would like to dance?"

Yes I can, but it hasn't helped me much.

I'm not saying you have to wait to graduate. You can start now, but I think it would be nice to be able to look forward to the end of next year knowing that your chances will shoot up then.

I know you mean well, but there is no way I can look forward to another year of loneliness.

 

The very thought of it makes me depressed.

Well, doing the exact same things over and over again and hoping the result will change would be futile. In saying that, there could be tonnes of reasons why a girl rejects a guy, which may have nothing to do with how you approached or what you said.

While I agree with you, it's also stupid to assume that they reason I'm being rejected has nothing to do with me.

As for feedback, I've only asked one girl for feedback. What I was doing wrong was approaching with a 'big' compliment and most gorgeous girls have heard that they're 'beautiful' many times before and it's boosts their ego. Basically, I wasn't being a challenge and they knew that had me even before they've had the chance to earn it. On top of that, some girls don't like a guy who they think only likes them for their looks. I've taken the feedback with a grain of salt, as I believe she probably just wasn't attracted.

The feedback sees pretty valid to me. I don't see any reason not to listen to women as long as what they say makes some sense.

 

As for improving, I think it's very clear when a girl is into the conversation. She usually starts asking a lot of questions about me and giving her own answers to her own questions and draws off things I tell her to go deeper. I usually know when I've said something 'wrong' to make the conversation awkward or uncomfortable and make a note not to do that again. And I remember what stories had the most impact on people so I can tell it again (but different people may respond differently to certain stories). So when I meet someone new, I introduce myself and see where I go from there and just try to have a good conversation, sometimes it's light, flirty banter, other times its more exploratory; to each their own. It's getting more comfortable with the situation and myself and with approaching girls.

Yeah, when I've talked to women, very few ask questions about me. The topic is almost always about her and other random things.

 

I don't tell stories. I actually prefer to say as little as possible and just let her talk.

 

 

Some people do need to be pushed and even forced into doing things. I know some of my friends who will NEVER approach girls, even after I've encouraged and pushed them to. Doing nothing gets you nowhere.

 

What the pick-up thing does is it makes you put yourself out there and just practice talking to approaching and talking to random women. However, I am not fan of 'routines' as I think it's too rigid and boring. And I don't like going to bars and clubs. If you think it's stupid, then maybe you can practise approaching women in the daytime? I don't know, just a suggestion

The whole approaching random thing seems so odd to me. I just don't see the point why I should bother. I seriously can't imagine why a woman who doesn't know me would even want to go out with me.

 

It has and it gets to a lot of people, so you're not alone there. Sometimes it affects other important aspects of people's lives i.e. friendships, family and occupation. I see it more in isolation and try not to let it dominate my life, as it can really be something that one obsesses over; there's more to life.

 

Of course it's impossible to forget women completely. It was even harder to not think about when I first had physical contact. Those sexual urges are partly why we care so much about it. But doing other things would more or less keep you enjoying life, even if its momentary.

 

Well, maybe having a bit of fun doing your own thing until school starts would renew your vigour. Plus you can approach girls on your campus when school starts.

I'm kind of looking forward to school starting because it means more women that I'll get to know and ask out. But my track record has been so horrible that I'm not that excited.

 

I think I need to go in with a completely different approach than before. I'm just not too sure what that should be.

[iris219]

1. Online dating is really scary and I just don't know if I have a chance. But I'm on winter break from school so I might as well try.

 

I think I'll start making a profile in a bit.

 

This is great news. You're stepping out of your comfort zone and that's very brave. This is a proactive step and I'm proud of you!

[Dust]

1. Online dating is really scary and I just don't know if I have a chance. But I'm on winter break from school so I might as well try.

 

I think I'll start making a profile in a bit.

 

2. I've already spent somewhere around three grand on dating coaches and the like. They really haven't done much for me, but that could be because they were structured programs. My situation seems to be really unique and I most likely would need a very specific coach.

 

One thing I've been thinking about, is that I could probably really benefit from a female coach who can evaluate me on how I interact with her and other women. I've never really gotten the female perspective side of things. It seems to be more helpful than having some dude giving me a routine and then telling me to try it on girls at bars.

Ugh, that thread. At least 95% of it focused on D, I really don't know how much of it I can use. I can look through it again, but I'll need to prepare myself first before I delve into that beast.

 

You spent three grand on date coaching!!! You should ask for your money back, seriously!

 

I offered you to come out on vacation out by where I live. Which happens to be a great vacation area with tons of hot chicks. I said I'd help you out just for my own amusement and you turned that down yet you spend three thousand on nothing...

 

Now your considering getting a female dating coach for the female perspective... omg you already are the female perspective. Time to be a man. Seriously you'd be better off showering some random chick with three thousand dollars worth of jewlery then spending any more money on dating coaches.

 

My offer still stands by the way. Come out to wear I am on vacation I'll show you how its done. No magic really you just need to "TALK TO THEM." Not just conversations about how your butt itches unless that makes them laugh... FLIRT. There is no script to it, you just talk to them and have a good time. have you ever just had a good time talking to a girl... I mean thats flirting. It's not a job interview you don't need to get hired.

 

Did you stop to think that your impression of me that I'm a complaining loser is because I made a thread and complain in my posts in an anonymous forum?

 

Now do you think I'm stupid enough to complain to people in real life?

 

Somedude from your own posts I've seen lame scenario after lame scenario where you basicaly wanted a girl to feel sorry for you and date you. Never have I seen the post where you did anything but aproach the situation with a wimpy complaint.

 

Realize that yes your mentality on the subject creates the reality.

 

 

While I agree with you, it's also stupid to assume that they reason I'm being rejected has nothing to do with me.

The feedback sees pretty valid to me. I don't see any reason not to listen to women as long as what they say makes some sense.

 

You don't try thats the only reason. If I could change one thing about you it would be to give you the drive to try and enjoy trying. If nothing else about you changed but that you would be swiming in women.

 

The whole approaching random thing seems so odd to me. I just don't see the point why I should bother. I seriously can't imagine why a woman who doesn't know me would even want to go out with me.

 

You don't have to see the point. Just do it and see how well it works. I know ou can't imagine why a woman who doesn't know you would want to go out with you but realize that those are actually the women more likely to go out with you.

 

 

I'm kind of looking forward to school starting because it means more women that I'll get to know and ask out. But my track record has been so horrible that I'm not that excited.

 

You're always looking foward to something. Live in the here and now! Don't use stuff you're waiting for to procrastinate.

 

I think I need to go in with a completely different approach than before. I'm just not too sure what that should be.

 

You're like ground hog day. Yes we all know you need a different approach. Why not try actually approaching women for a change like we keep telling you?

[cerridwen]

You spent three grand on date coaching!!! You should ask for your money back, seriously!

 

I offered you to come out on vacation out by where I live. Which happens to be a great vacation area with tons of hot chicks. I said I'd help you out just for my own amusement and you turned that down yet you spend three thousand on nothing...

 

Now your considering getting a female dating coach for the female perspective... omg you already are the female perspective. Time to be a man. Seriously you'd be better off showering some random chick with three thousand dollars worth of jewlery then spending any more money on dating coaches.

 

My offer still stands by the way. Come out to wear I am on vacation I'll show you how its done. No magic really you just need to "TALK TO THEM." Not just conversations about how your butt itches unless that makes them laugh... FLIRT. There is no script to it, you just talk to them and have a good time. have you ever just had a good time talking to a girl... I mean thats flirting. It's not a job interview you don't need to get hired.

 

You should consider this, SD.

I wanted to hang out with you too but it seems our schedules never match up.

Consider visiting Dust (I think his boldness would be good for you) then visit me next you're in my area and I'll wing-girl you and give you feedback.

[Dust]

You should consider this, SD.

I wanted to hang out with you too but it seems our schedules never match up.

Consider visiting Dust (I think his boldness would be good for you) then visit me next you're in my area and I'll wing-girl you and give you feedback.

 

hmmm I'd visit cerridwen first if I were you... she's single right?

[cerridwen]

hmmm I'd visit cerridwen first if I were you... she's single right?

 

I'm poison.

SD's aware.

I say you go make up the guest room, Dust.

81's coming to town.

[Dust]

I'm poison.

SD's aware.

I say you go make up the guest room, Dust.

81's coming to town.

 

Mr. three thousand on dating coaches can definitely save up for a nice hotel room if he ever comes. I’m not running a bordello for down on their luck LS guys haha. As for any ladies who’d like to come visit I’ll be sure to wash the sheets and fluff the pillows in my bedroom!

[somedude81]

You spent three grand on date coaching!!! You should ask for your money back, seriously!

 

I offered you to come out on vacation out by where I live. Which happens to be a great vacation area with tons of hot chicks. I said I'd help you out just for my own amusement and you turned that down yet you spend three thousand on nothing...

The money was spent years ago. I haven't used any cash for that stuff in a long time. I just brought it up because cerri suggested a dating coach, which I've already tried.

 

 

Now your considering getting a female dating coach for the female perspective... omg you already are the female perspective. Time to be a man.

 

 

My offer still stands by the way. Come out to wear I am on vacation I'll show you how its done. No magic really you just need to "TALK TO THEM." Not just conversations about how your butt itches unless that makes them laugh... FLIRT. There is no script to it, you just talk to them and have a good time. have you ever just had a good time talking to a girl... I mean thats flirting. It's not a job interview you don't need to get hired.

There is sooo much more to it than just talking to girls. If that was the case, I'd have a GF a long time ago.

 

Coming to where you are could be something I do this summer. I might have more cash then, and I know I'll have time.

 

Somedude from your own posts I've seen lame scenario after lame scenario where you basicaly wanted a girl to feel sorry for you and date you. Never have I seen the post where you did anything but aproach the situation with a wimpy complaint.

Huh, wanting the girl to feel sorry for me, what the hell are you talking about?

Realize that yes your mentality on the subject creates the reality.

Couldn't be further than the truth.

 

You don't try thats the only reason. If I could change one thing about you it would be to give you the drive to try and enjoy trying. If nothing else about you changed but that you would be swiming in women.

Dust, we really don't see eye to eye on many things. Frankly, I'm getting tried of trying to prove myself to you.

 

 

You don't have to see the point. Just do it and see how well it works. I know ou can't imagine why a woman who doesn't know you would want to go out with you but realize that those are actually the women more likely to go out with you.

Is that the case? A woman I meet at a bar has a better chance of going out with me than a woman I talk to at least once a week at school?

I'm poison.

SD's aware.

I say you go make up the guest room, Dust.

81's coming to town.

Miss her, kiss her, love her

 

That girl is POISOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON...

 

BTW, as far as I know Dust is in Florida, right? Cerri's much closer.