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friendship and flaking on special day and arrangements


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i have a question. i had a birthday a few days ago. my friend asked me when my b day was and i told him 1 month ago and i told him 2 days ago too. he told me that when my b day came he would take me out to strip bar, we go out and eat and he'll go pay for it and when it was his b day i would pay for it. i agreed. that day came and it was my b day and he told me he had to help a friend pick up an exercises equipment and we were to meet later that day in the evening . i got a call later in day in the evening 20 minutes before our meeting and he said he still at the store and cant make it.i was in downtown waiting and hanging around downtown for a few hours so we could hang out together on my b day. ok i dont have a lot of friends and most people in my life are just acquaintances and not very close. for some reason we got closer since we both have something in common-sport we train together. he also said he has a date with girl later that day too.

 

so i make a big deal of this or not. sometimes i think hes putting bigger priorities over what is important and not.i mean he is just a guy friend and we are both straight guys. i mean you can schedule a date anytime and he new my b day and could have arrange for pick up another day or asked the friend to find some other person to pick it up.

does he even value me as a friend or just a casual so and so acquaintance. i been used before and had and knew fake friends and people

 

he also mentioned 3 months ago about planning a trip to travel together since he wanted to visit east coast of usa. i said sure and was excited since i have no other person to go with. when i asked when we can go , he says ah you find the cheaper tickets, and find a cheap apartment. its very vague too like when he wants to go . its all up in the air

 

when his b day comes up should i go out and celebrate it with him or should i just do the samething back to him?

what do you think

 

we are just friends and not lovers. we are both straight men

Edited by joel
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why so much excitement? he is just a friend... you could do anything in his birthday, and it'd be awesome... why don't you ask him?...

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NoMagicBullet

It sounds like either 1) he's a flake or 2) you're just an acquaintance to him. You'll have to adjust you're expectations of him downward, I think. You don't say how long you've known him, so maybe you need more time to develop a real firendship?

 

Since he wasn't there for you're birthday, at most I suggest maybe buying him a drink at a bar or something if you two end up hanging out. Who knows -- he may make plans to have a date on his birthday anyway.

 

As for the trip, you really can't plan anything without concrete dates. Transportation and lodging costs depend heavily on dates of travel. Does he not know this? Maybe. Or maybe he's not really interested in making that trip with you. If he brings the subject up, tell him you'll need specific dates to make plans, and until then, the trip won't happen. If he never brings the subject up, he likely wasn't serious about the trip anyway.

 

I suggest treating this guy like an acquaintance and not expecting more out of him. Maybe with time he'll step up and act more like a friend. Then again, you might be better off without him as a friend, because he sounds pretty flaky, regardless.

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