mixed emotions...rambling to LS

[nevadagirl]

so it's been a little over 3 months since THE END.

 

the last time we spoke - probably about a month and a half ago - was not good. i told him i didn't think i could be friends with him and i felt he had been inconsiderate of my feelings since he broke up with me - with the emailing every week and the whole puttinghiscoollifeinfrontofmyface (yea it's possible) he responded by telling me that he had done nothing wrong and i would never know all the ways he HAD been considerate of my feelings (cuz if putting pictures of him and his ex after he goes to **** her on his newly public facebook isn't the most inconsiderate thing he could do then this guy is talented!)

 

back then i got on skype with him hoping he'd i dunno...talk to me like a human being maybe...all he did was smirk at the camera and type to someone else the whole time. i ended our little call and said something like...this is exactly what i was talking about...you put the attention back on you just to shrug me off when i give it to you.

 

i have not spoken a word to him since.

 

he's mostly left me alone, a few messages right after that but then he stopped.

 

so on to the point of my blurb.

 

i graduated last week from college and he sent me a card in the mail - he must have looked at my profile picture on fb because it's not like i went emailing him the great news. the card made me sick to my stomach with his ugly handwriting and the saying of Nothing.

 

i threw it away. maybe in his twisted mind he thinks it was a nice gesture but to me it felt like another attempt at getting me to pay attention to him - remind me he's alive or something. maybe i'm just ****ed in the head at this point. i mean i know he's been doing good - i've made all of the facebook mistakes everyone on this damn site makes. i'm very much aware that his life is better without me.

 

today i had a voicemail from him. it began with hey its me...i would NOT be calling you but it's kind of an emergency situation...

 

so i listen to this like minute long ramble about his car dying and how it was in the shop and he had to do something with it because it cost more to repair than he's ever had saved in his whole life and would i please tell him the name of the place that i sold my old car to when it got messed up beyond repair. (how it took THAT long to ask me that simple question is beyond me)

 

i felt guilty for not answering him because i could have just texted the name of the place but at the same time i felt irritated with him...with his whole opening line of i would NOT be calling you if....da da da.

 

i just wanted to say don't you have like 500 ****ing million new best friends now? can't you do a simple google search to find out what to do with a junk car? instead you call me on some number i dont recognize and ramble to my voicemail for a minute saying NOTHING but woe is you and please give you information? are you a grownup person??

 

 

this post feels pretty dumb but there's no one to talk to anymore about my emotions regarding this guy.

 

it's been over three months. i shouldn't care anymore.

 

i feel guilty for ignoring him even though he doesn't actually need my help for anything and will be fine and i feel guilty for having a sick sense of satisfaction that something ****ty happened in his life. i don't feel any compassion for him at all.

 

all i want for christmas is indifference.

[solobeary]

He sounds like the classic immature/desperate for approval/don't know what they want type. Stay strong! You feel guilty because you're a good, caring person, who wouldn't mess someone around the way he messed you around. It's fantastic you haven't bought into his **** recently. Keep away from him, you deserve better, he needs to learn to grow up the hard way.

 

You sound like you're on the long path to indifference, and better things

[Sugarkane]

I would ignore this guy. Sounds like he's fishing for a reaction out of you.