toosoft Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Ive been LC for a week now after I was dumped yet again with the old line "I just dont feel the same way about you anymore"... truth is she is still in an emotional affair with the OM. Suffice to say, when we went to MC last week, the counsellor was shocked at my partners total change of track after 5 weeks of doing really well and there being some real progress and hope. Anywhoo, worst thing about the latest break is the timing, it has totally ruined all the plans we had made to spend the festive season together with the kids. So if your in my shoes and sat on your own, come join me here, a LS loners Christmas... you dont have to be alone! Link to post Share on other sites
rob_h Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Hi mate I sit here alone while my wife is shacked up with another man, the man I found in my bed not even 2 months ago. 300 miles away and now engaged (she's still married and until leaving me with him happy I thought!), how pathetic he's 6 years younger than her at 24 just a kid, I suppose giving her all the stuff I did at that age before responsibility! But anyway just me and the dog and god I feel like death! How are you? Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Hi mate I sit here alone while my wife is shacked up with another man, the man I found in my bed not even 2 months ago. 300 miles away and now engaged (she's still married and until leaving me with him happy I thought!), how pathetic he's 6 years younger than her at 24 just a kid, I suppose giving her all the stuff I did at that age before responsibility! But anyway just me and the dog and god I feel like death! How are you? Rob do you have yahoo messenger, do you fancy a chat? Link to post Share on other sites
Melrapuo Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 I think we're all in the same boat here. I'm never going to hear from my ex again, and definitely not tonight. That isn't going to stop me from trying to enjoy the holidays. Link to post Share on other sites
rob_h Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Rob do you have yahoo messenger, do you fancy a chat? Thanks so much just Facebook I'm afraid no messenger, how are you this evening? Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Thanks so much just Facebook I'm afraid no messenger, how are you this evening? Im great, if you ever want a chat or company, download yahoo messenger and let me know x Link to post Share on other sites
rob_h Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Im great, if you ever want a chat or company, download yahoo messenger and let me know x Thanks very much, just have the iPad at the moment after getting rid of all our computers, it was one of those daft painful to see things as all our memories were stored on them! God damn I tell you what I wouldn't wish this on anyone (apart from my wife of course) how someone can rip you apart like that I just don't know, where do you start to build self confidence and self worth, I'm a shadow of the confident cocky man I once was, she kicked it out of me I guess! Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Thanks very much, just have the iPad at the moment after getting rid of all our computers, it was one of those daft painful to see things as all our memories were stored on them! God damn I tell you what I wouldn't wish this on anyone (apart from my wife of course) how someone can rip you apart like that I just don't know, where do you start to build self confidence and self worth, I'm a shadow of the confident cocky man I once was, she kicked it out of me I guess! That was me 6 months ago, no she didnt, you lost yourself, in her. It hard, and its going to get harder and it hurts for a long time, but you come out the other end fighting holding your balls lol. Link to post Share on other sites
rob_h Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 I think we're all in the same boat here. I'm never going to hear from my ex again, and definitely not tonight. That isn't going to stop me from trying to enjoy the holidays. I'm still asking the question of how can they just forget the marriage and life together literally overnight although with what she did she must have been planning it and the more I think I knew it was happening around me but was too scared to do anything, that's my part in this, I was scared and did not show my wife what she meant to me, but then again she should have known and communicated with me. I think Link to post Share on other sites
rob_h Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 That was me 6 months ago, no she didnt, you lost yourself, in her. It hard, and its going to get harder and it hurts for a long time, but you come out the other end fighting holding your balls lol. Yea I did your right, I took her so much for granted, but I'll learn from my mistakes, just emotional things, but I did not deserve what she has done to me blah blah blah, thanks for the messages by the way especially at this time! Link to post Share on other sites
Melrapuo Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 I'm still asking the question of how can they just forget the marriage and life together literally overnight although with what she did she must have been planning it and the more I think I knew it was happening around me but was too scared to do anything, that's my part in this, I was scared and did not show my wife what she meant to me, but then again she should have known and communicated with me. I think My ex didn't cheat on me, we just had problems that we addressed but never tried to work on. Granted, its been eating away at both of us, it was just her who ended it first. In terms of communicating, you're right on both accounts. It takes two people to make a relationship work. Both parties are at fault, not just one. You can't blame yourself for everything that happened. It just wouldn't be right. Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Yea I did your right, I took her so much for granted, but I'll learn from my mistakes, just emotional things, but I did not deserve what she has done to me blah blah blah, thanks for the messages by the way especially at this time! well id like to offer you more advice, but not via threads, you wont be able to pm for a while and i would like to keep you company at times. i know how hard it is. Take a look at some of my threads, just click on my name add me as a contact then search my threads, its easier than going through everyone of my posts. You might find some information thats useful. Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Sorry for high jacking this thread, OP ill be alone this christmas, through choice though, i have plenty of options but im choosing to come on here and keep people company and listen and share because they were there when i needed them. Ill see everyone in the morning, merry christmas xx Link to post Share on other sites
rob_h Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 well id like to offer you more advice, but not via threads, you wont be able to pm for a while and i would like to keep you company at times. i know how hard it is. Take a look at some of my threads, just click on my name add me as a contact then search my threads, its easier than going through everyone of my posts. You might find some information thats useful. Great will do thank you, people like you make me want to be a good man, or continue to be a good man Link to post Share on other sites
rob_h Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Sorry for high jacking this thread, OP ill be alone this christmas, through choice though, i have plenty of options but im choosing to come on here and keep people company and listen and share because they were there when i needed them. Ill see everyone in the morning, merry christmas xx Yea sorry guys I'm new to all this and obviously have poor etiquette! Smokey bear last message I promise! I have read some of your threads and would be so greatful for any words of wisdom you have, I have yahoo messenger now so let me know if you ever fancy a chat and share your experience! Link to post Share on other sites
daisydukes Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Good to know someone else experienced my pain OP. I had the same line sorta too. Only I found he was cheating on me and decided to spin it back on me saying I told you weeks ago we should see other people which was funny because just two days ago before I found out he was cheating on me he told me how he wanted to marry me and he made out with me. Whatever.... I hope they are miserable together but at the same time it hurts because I am thinking how happy he is with her enjoying their christmas together exchanging presents when we were supposed to do that. What does LC mean? I know NC means No Contact but LC? Link to post Share on other sites
tangledweb Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 (edited) Whatever.... I hope they are miserable together but at the same time it hurts because I am thinking how happy he is with her enjoying their christmas together exchanging presents when we were supposed to do that. What does LC mean? I know NC means No Contact but LC? I was guessing LC was little or low contact. Not sure. I am not as bad as last year, but still not 'right'. Kids here for Christmas. Forced myself to decorate, but heart was just not in it. I expected it last year, after the bomb dropped, but though I'd be better this year. Just feel empty this Christmas. Like rob_h & daisydukes said, thinking of STBX enjoying the holiday with the other person gets to you. Everyone says it gets better, and it has day to day, but holidays, can't shake her. Edited December 25, 2011 by tangledweb Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Yea sorry guys I'm new to all this and obviously have poor etiquette! Smokey bear last message I promise! I have read some of your threads and would be so greatful for any words of wisdom you have, I have yahoo messenger now so let me know if you ever fancy a chat and share your experience! hey, you'll have to be brave and post your email address on here since you cant pm, if your worried about your identity, create a new one solely for this purpose. Speak soon Link to post Share on other sites
rob_h Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 hey, you'll have to be brave and post your email address on here since you cant pm, if your worried about your identity, create a new one solely for this purpose. Speak soon Hey I'll be brave it's [email protected] God this morning sucks Link to post Share on other sites
rob_h Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Guys do I contact her to wish her a merry christmas or not I mean she's not thinking of me so what's the point been nc for 6 days now after I finished all the soppy messages and sent my last goodbye message which was more than she did when she destroyed my life Link to post Share on other sites
SoulFinger Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 First of all Merry Christmas to all of you. Rob H, If I were you I wouldn't contact your ex.I'm not contacting mine even though it's not easy I know but since they are with their new flame let them be. They don't care about us enough otherwise they wouldn't do this. Keep strong mate:) Link to post Share on other sites
Steven T Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 My ex just text me. I am glad she did ONLY because I can now block her number so I wont receive anymore texts from her I couldn't do it before as I didn't have her number in my phone. I feel rather relieved that I wont be constantly wondering if she will text me because now I know I wont receive a thing if she tries to text. Happy Christmas Steven Link to post Share on other sites
rob_h Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 First of all Merry Christmas to all of you. Rob H, If I were you I wouldn't contact your ex.I'm not contacting mine even though it's not easy I know but since they are with their new flame let them be. They don't care about us enough otherwise they wouldn't do this. Keep strong mate:) Yea cheers man I think I'll try and keep some dignity and leave her be. Just another hour then down to the parents for lunch so that will distract me. I wish they knew just what we are going through. I wish I knew what she would put me through when we were stood at the alter back in 2006 Link to post Share on other sites
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