Need assisstance composing a Happy Birthday text

[The_Good_Me]

Hey LSers

 

Before anyone tries to talk me out of it, I've made up my mind. It's her birthday today and even though I didn't get a happy birthday at the end of last month I still want to send her one. We were together for 10 years and it just doesn't feel right not sending anything.

 

I've thought about it alot and I've come to the conclusion that I'll be hurting no matter what I do or whether or not I get anything back, it's all bad so I may as well just be a good guy and text her happy birthday.

 

Before anyone starts, I don't hope to get her back from a simple happy birthday text or to even open the doors for reconciliation. Truth is I am afraid of her since she dumped me and know that we could never be together again.

 

We have been NC since mid-late May but I don't want to start up a conversation with her. I guess I'm just wondering if its best to either send a simple...

 

"Happy Birthday M & Merry Christmas. I hope you've had a good day! D"

 

or should I add something to make it easy for her so she doesn't have to worry about replying, such as...

 

"I'm sorry if you've decided you don't want to hear from me again but it doesn't feel right letting today go by without wishing you a Happy Birthday & Merry Christmas. You don't have to reply if you don't want to, I just wanted to wish you well today. Hope you've had a good one. D"

 

Not going to send it until this evening so she's free to enjoy her day.

 

Any help wording this text would be greatly appreciated and again I have to state if you think I'm making a mistake, well you could be right but I really have made up my mind so help with damage limitation again would be really great.

 

Thanks LSers and Merry Christmas to you all.

[YuGr.]

I'm sorry but it doesn't feel right letting today go by without wishing you a Happy Birthday & Merry Christmas. You don't have to reply if you don't want to, I just wanted to wish you well today. Hope you've had a good one. D"

 

This sounds good to me, at least, it's what I'd send..

[The_Good_Me]

Thanks YuGr!

 

I prefer your version :-)

[Magda70]

 

"Happy Birthday M & Merry Christmas. I hope you've had a good day! D"

 

or should I add something to make it easy for her so she doesn't have to worry about replying, such as...

 

"I'm sorry if you've decided you don't want to hear from me again but it doesn't feel right letting today go by without wishing you a Happy Birthday & Merry Christmas. You don't have to reply if you don't want to, I just wanted to wish you well today. Hope you've had a good one. D"

 

 

I would not worry about her getting worried about replying: if she does not want to she wont.

 

I would write this:

 

"I'm know you don't want to hear from me but it doesn't feel right letting today go by without wishing you a Happy Birthday & Merry Christmas. Hope you've had a good one. :)"

 

( don't laugh , smile :-) )

[Eddie Edirol]

Dont send it to her...let her wonder if you moved on. I know you really want a reply. She might come looking for you if she thinks you dont care..

[The_Good_Me]

I would not worry about her getting worried about replying: if she does not want to she wont.

 

I would write this:

 

"I'm know you don't want to hear from me but it doesn't feel right letting today go by without wishing you a Happy Birthday & Merry Christmas. Hope you've had a good one. :)"

 

( don't laugh , smile :-) )

 

Yeah I guess I was over thinking things when I thought she might worry about replying. I'm pretty sure I won't get a reply but to be honest that's the best outcome of a bad bunch. I just wanna send it, forget it happened and get through the rest of the day with as few tears as possible.

 

I'll probably still send the part about "you don't have to reply if you don't want too" just because it makes no difference (like you say, she either will or she won't and whatever I say won't have any influence on her decision) and it's nice to reassure that there's no pressure.

[The_Good_Me]

Dont send it to her...let her wonder if you moved on. I know you really want a reply. She might come looking for you if she thinks you dont care..

 

I'm pretty sure if she wondered if I was moving on or not she'd of got in touch by now. I've left it as long as possible without contacting her and I'm proud of staying NC for over 8 months! I had always intended to wish her a happy birthday and I did extremely well not to contact her on our wedding day.

 

I can honestly say that I would prefer no reply than a reply at all. My intention for this message is just to show that I've thought about her on her birthday. I'm not asking if she's had a nice day or how she's doing or anything like that. I'd rather not know who she's with, what she's doing or how happy she is but I genuinely do hope that she's ok.

 

If I had only been with her for a short time then trust me, this message would not be sent. I've known her & been with her for over a third of my life! She's been a huge part of it and I just can't say nothing! After this message though that will be it from me. I don't think there's any harm contacting them with a birthday wish on the first birthday after the BU. I won't be doing it next year though I'm sure I'll think of her. Can't think of xmas with thinking of her.

Edited December 25, 2011 by The_Good_Me

[The_Good_Me]

Well I sent it and just pressing the send button sent me into floods of tears. I'm now laughing while crying at myself for being so pathetic.

 

What a strange feeling. I do feel a sense of good under these tears though that I did the right thing in wishing her a happy birthday. With our history I don't think I've of forgiven myself for missing the chance to show her one last act of care & consideration.

 

Need a cup of tea now :')

[Kamila]

My ex-boyfriend sent me a happy birthday message last year. I also got another one on FB where he asked me what I've been doing that day.

 

I did not reply. Not because I didn't care. But because I cared too much. And that I was afraid he was just looking to see if I'm okay and nothing more.

[The_Good_Me]

My ex-boyfriend sent me a happy birthday message last year. I also got another one on FB where he asked me what I've been doing that day.

 

I did not reply. Not because I didn't care. But because I cared too much. And that I was afraid he was just looking to see if I'm okay and nothing more.

 

I can imagine how you must of felt. Sadly (and fortunately) I have not experienced that. She has completely severed me from her life and I didn't get a message from her on my birthday. I know I would have had the same fears as you if she had. To me that just confirmed that she has absolutely no feelings for me anymore.

 

I got a reply from here roughly 45 minutes later simply saying "Merry Christmas d.". Again it's a text that just confirms total indifference. I wasn't expecting anything more or less from her. It still hurts knowing for sure that I am nothing to her now but I guess I at least got the confirmation and I was nice at the same time. I am proud of myself which is better than I was before today.

 

That really is the last form of contact from me now. It'd be weird to send her something in another years time so no more birthday wishes from me. I did what I had to do and it's done so now it's just strapping myself back in for this rollercoaster ride and seeing where I end up.

 

I think breaking NC today actually did a bit of good for a change. Not recommending anyone break NC as it usually does more harm than good but I think there are times when we all think and know when (rather than just want to) it's appropriate to break NC.

 

I never did get that post tears cup of tea so it's totally on now :-)