Don't parents realize...

[RecordProducer]

It's a bit over $500 rent but yes it's only for rent. Nothing else. I pay for my own food and anything else I'd want to buy or save for (such as internet service).

In that case it's not quite true that

it IS still their house, not his. So they are entitled to do whatever they want in their own house and, if he doesn't like it, he's entitled to leave.

You're paying rent, they haven't kicked you out, so it's your home, too. But I understand that that's beyond the point.

 

RecordProducer - Can I PM you that information? I'm not entirely comfortable providing more specifics than what I have here.

Okay. Please do.

Also, I should add that I contribute to the household chores as well - I take out all the trash, I go to the store a few times a week to get food for them, etc.

Nice of you.

Anyway, I've been continuously browsing and it seems as if a load of opportunities have presented themselves in terms of new apartments I could live in (that are in good areas nearby) that I can finally afford, so I'm going to be investigating all of these. Looks like I'll be moving out in the very near future if these end up panning out (yippeeeeeeeeeee).

What do you mean by "if these keep panning out"?

Good for you to move out. Have you lived on your own before?

[turnera]

 

it IS still their house, not his. So they are entitled to do whatever they

want in their own house and, if he doesn't like it, he's entitled to leave.

 

... You're paying rent, they haven't kicked you out, so it's your home, too.

But I understand that that's beyond the point.

 

How does that make it his home? It only makes it the home he's paying rent to live in, just like any other renter. Any other renter, if he/she got harangued by the home owners, would move out.

[UpDownAllAround]

In that case it's not quite true that You're paying rent, they haven't kicked you out, so it's your home, too. But I understand that that's beyond the point.

 

Okay. Please do.

Nice of you.

Anyway, I've been continuously browsing and it seems as if a load of opportunities have presented themselves in terms of new apartments I could live in (that are in good areas nearby) that I can finally afford, so I'm going to be investigating all of these. Looks like I'll be moving out in the very near future if these end up panning out (yippeeeeeeeeeee).

 

What do you mean by "if these keep panning out"?

Good for you to move out. Have you lived on your own before?

 

Well, I've approached quite a few of these opportunities through Craigslist and they've never answered my E-Mails (which is all a number of these opportunities provided), so I keep on trying. With an increased income it's possible for me to actually afford more decent places that are not in the slums so I've stepped up my research a bit and can go beyond Craigslist.

 

Yeah, I have lived on my own before. Unfortunately, they increased the rent to where I could no longer afford it (and raises couldn't keep up with that) so I had no choice but to move home. This is my first raise since I've had to move home, and I've always been on the edge of NOT requiring a co-signer (think $50 per month away...how embarrassing) for my own apartment (since apartments around here require 3x's your monthly gross income before they'll even talk to you). And I will NOT move into my own place that requires someone else to guarantee part of my income.

 

I've had enough of that drama thank you very much.

[setsenia]

I know what you mean about apartments requiring 3x the monthly rent for your income. It's the same way in my city. The funny thing is, they raise the rent 16% each year. Obviously my income is no longer 3x the monthly rent! LOL!

[Ross MwcFan]

The responses in this thread about still living at home depress me and have made me lose more confidence in myself.

 

Don't get me wrong I would love to move out and have my own place, I've wanted to do this for years, but it's so hard for me to get my head around it all, plus I don't have a job and don't want to live in the area where I'm living anyway, so if I was to move out I'd want to move somewhere where I'd feel happy which would probably be very far away from here, which complicates things even more.

Edited January 3, 2012 by Ross MwcFan

[turnera]

I suggest that all of you having money issues invest $100 in a 10-week program called Financial Peace University. You can usually find a local class going on at a nearby church most times of the year. It will teach you how to better manage your money and plan for the future so that you aren't ever caught in a bind because of $50 again, no matter how little you make. It's a very good investment and will help you for the rest of your life.

[Emilia]

Classic avoidance behavior

 

I'm an alcoholic because...I'm a druggie because....I'm fat because....

 

hint. It is all about YOU. Zilch to do with your parents. Zilch to do with money

 

Excuse, ,excuse, excuse...get off of your ass and make your own life. The last thing you need is more hand holding.

 

Exactly. I left my home country when I was 20, I know plenty of people who move into houseshares first before getting their own place eventually. You have to be really poor not to be able to afford those.

 

I think all this nonsense about only living in expensive apartments in prime areas is just an excuse, or really spoilt and pampered. Grow up.

[Eve]

I suggest that all of you having money issues invest $100 in a 10-week program called Financial Peace University. You can usually find a local class going on at a nearby church most times of the year. It will teach you how to better manage your money and plan for the future so that you aren't ever caught in a bind because of $50 again, no matter how little you make. It's a very good investment and will help you for the rest of your life.

 

Do they have something like this geared more at teens? I would love to introduce my daughter to the world of finances but don't want to do this with our home finances.

 

If anyone has any thoughts this would be great.

 

All in all OP, whatever you do make sure it is time limited so you don't get too comfy where you are, or too afraid to leave. Beyond University/relationship break up/illness, I would not encourage a stay for longer than say 6 months. Main reason being that it is good to be with people your own age, not back at home.

 

Just set yourself a goal for this year. How about being out by June?

 

Living with others in order to share the costs is a good idea if you can find the right mix of people.

 

 

Take care,

Eve x

[Els]

Well, I've approached quite a few of these opportunities through Craigslist and they've never answered my E-Mails (which is all a number of these opportunities provided), so I keep on trying. With an increased income it's possible for me to actually afford more decent places that are not in the slums so I've stepped up my research a bit and can go beyond Craigslist.

 

This is just really weird. I've shared houses multiple times over the years, it really is not that difficult to find a house. How many are you even emailing? Yes, you probably have to do 20 or so sometimes to get a place, but usually the entire process takes less than a month unless you're very picky. And if you're very picky, well, you're staying in your parents' house by CHOICE. You're choosing their berating over living in an old/cold/poorly painted/far from your job/etc house. Your decision.

[turnera]

Do they have something like this geared more at teens? I would love to introduce my daughter to the world of finances but don't want to do this with our home finances.

Look here: http://www.daveramsey.com/store/cyouth-p1.html

[Eve]

Look here: http://www.daveramsey.com/store/cyouth-p1.html

 

Cheers. The Generation Change one looks good. I will have a chat with my girl about this as she is now more aware of the cost of things and wants her allowance to spread further.

 

Hope this provides good, real food for thought. I think it will.

 

 

Sorry for the slight side tracking, OP.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[turnera]

Cheers. The Generation Change one looks good. I will have a chat with my girl about this as she is now more aware of the cost of things and wants her allowance to spread further.

Sorry for the T/J, but I just want to respond to this.

 

I read many years ago about a man (supposedly true story) who had 3 teenage sons. He was spending tons of money on them, and they didn't care. One year, on Jan. 1, he sat them down. He had 3 stacks of money in front of him, one for each son. He gave them their stacks of cash and said 'this is how much we typically spend on you in a year. It's now your responsibility to make it through the year til next Jan. 1. We WILL NOT bail you out for anything except medical issues. Learn to spend your money wisely.'

 

One son ran through his money in a few months. Parents did not bail him out and he had a miserable, miserable year. Couldn't go out with friends, had to drop out of sports at school, all kinds of things. Second son did a little better, made it almost through the year before running out; but he learned a lot. Third son just sat on it, set up a budget, and had money to spare at the end of the year, which he put into a savings account. By the end of the second year, all 3 kids were doing the same.

 

By the time the youngest was 30, all 3 had paid their way through college, had great jobs, and had each bought their own house. All because they learned as a teenager how money works.

 

On a personal note, I did this with my DD21, when she was about 13, though I gave her a weekly allowance. Told her I would not pay for anything except food, books (always), and medical expenses. It was amazing how quickly she decided she didn't really need this CD or that sweater, when it had to come out of her own pocket. Today, a college junior, she's amazingly smart about money.

[Eve]

Sorry for the T/J, but I just want to respond to this.

 

I read many years ago about a man (supposedly true story) who had 3 teenage sons. He was spending tons of money on them, and they didn't care. One year, on Jan. 1, he sat them down. He had 3 stacks of money in front of him, one for each son. He gave them their stacks of cash and said 'this is how much we typically spend on you in a year. It's now your responsibility to make it through the year til next Jan. 1. We WILL NOT bail you out for anything except medical issues. Learn to spend your money wisely.'

 

One son ran through his money in a few months. Parents did not bail him out and he had a miserable, miserable year. Couldn't go out with friends, had to drop out of sports at school, all kinds of things. Second son did a little better, made it almost through the year before running out; but he learned a lot. Third son just sat on it, set up a budget, and had money to spare at the end of the year, which he put into a savings account. By the end of the second year, all 3 kids were doing the same.

 

By the time the youngest was 30, all 3 had paid their way through college, had great jobs, and had each bought their own house. All because they learned as a teenager how money works.

 

On a personal note, I did this with my DD21, when she was about 13, though I gave her a weekly allowance. Told her I would not pay for anything except food, books (always), and medical expenses. It was amazing how quickly she decided she didn't really need this CD or that sweater, when it had to come out of her own pocket. Today, a college junior, she's amazingly smart about money.

 

Good life lesson.

 

13?! Wow, my daughter had just entered her naughty phase then. I don't think we gave her any money for about 2 years because she was too bad.

 

Anyhow that is the past now. It won't be long before she goes to University so she is getting more interested in the cost of things but finds it hard to curb her love of buying clothes. A framework for spending, giving and how to approach money would be most helpful, so thanks.

 

Didn't want to frighten her with the cost of running a family home as the example. All in all she is pretty good with money and will live by her decisions. I just wanted something which would inspire her.

 

Cheers again.

 

Take care,

Eve x

 

Just spoken to her and she has said that the programme sounds like a good idea.

Edited January 4, 2012 by Eve

[setsenia]

I suggest that all of you having money issues invest $100 in a 10-week program called Financial Peace University. You can usually find a local class going on at a nearby church most times of the year. It will teach you how to better manage your money and plan for the future so that you aren't ever caught in a bind because of $50 again, no matter how little you make. It's a very good investment and will help you for the rest of your life.

 

I think this is one of those classic things where people don't understand obviously if you have no money, you obviously cannot afford $100 to take a class about money. For a lot of people, the issues isn't necessarily overspending, but in some high cost areas, with the poor economy and lack of jobs, barely making enough to pay all your bills is the issue. I don't need to take a class to tell me I am living from check to check because I don't make enough to cover all my expenses.

[Eve]

I think this is one of those classic things where people don't understand obviously if you have no money, you obviously cannot afford $100 to take a class about money. For a lot of people, the issues isn't necessarily overspending, but in some high cost areas, with the poor economy and lack of jobs, barely making enough to pay all your bills is the issue. I don't need to take a class to tell me I am living from check to check because I don't make enough to cover all my expenses.

 

H'mmm, a review of finances is always helpful. Maybe the programme suggestion is not your cup of tea but I would still urge you to find a financial system to review your whole situation and make a new way for yourself.

 

If you don't, it's like giving up.

 

Set a date to move out to keep yourself motivated and do it.

 

Your Mum is soft on you.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[turnera]

I think this is one of those classic things where people don't understand that if you don't FIND a way to educate yourself, you will continue to suffer in obsolescence and poverty the rest of your life. Today, more than any other time in human's lives, we waste money in ways we simply don't stop to understand.

 

How much do you pay for Internet? A Cell phone? A second, third, tenth pair of shoes? More than two pairs of pants? More than 7 shirts? A coffee you don't make at home? A fast-food meal? More than one restaurant out a month? Music downloads?

 

If you can honestly say you don't spend anything on any of these things, and you STILL don't have any money, then I will say that you most likely qualify for some sort of financial help from your government, because you are the poorest of poor.

 

If you do spend on these things, then you can easily change your ways to save up to scrape together $100 for a course that will teach you how to

stop drowning in lack of money due to lack of financial education.

 

Thirty or forty years ago, few people had any of the above. Thirty years ago I cooked every meal at home except one per month (by carefully controlling my own spending). Thirty years ago, I stuck to a budget and allowed myself $30 per month for groceries, and made it work. And we survived just fine. And didn't think we were poor. We just weren't advertised into needing to own so much stuff, blow so much on things we don't need. And we didn't get credit cards; if we wanted something, we put it in layaway and paid on it each month til it was paid off and THEN we took it home from the store.

 

If rent is too much, get a roommate. Or two. Or three. If you don't have enough money, find ways to get it. I know a lady who makes a living buying things on eBay and reselling them. Doesn't cost her a dime, and the profit pays for her Internet and shipping. I know someone else who picks up damaged stuff from trash bins and refurbishes them and sells them to make extra money. I know someone else who pet sits for extra money. I know someone else who watches kids in her house along with her own to make money. I know people who get their education from FREE libraries.

 

The point is, this generation hasn't been pushed to FIND ways to survive. Their parents don't push them out of the house and FORCE them to find ways to make money to live. They let them move back in when they find they can't buy enough Starbucks and still live on their own. That's not doing anyone a favor.

 

There are millions of ways to improve your life. Education is the most important. If you're not willing to push yourself to find a way to educate yourself, then I suspect you'll be moaning about your lack of things in your 70s because you never pushed yourself to improve your life.

[UpDownAllAround]

Well mom's job is toast. Just found out. I'll be the only one one in this house with a job and steady income. Why me!! Why!!

 

Why can't I move when *I* want to???

 

I can't deal with this anymore.

[turnera]

Sorry to hear that! What is she trained in?

[Emilia]

Well mom's job is toast. Just found out. I'll be the only one one in this house with a job and steady income. Why me!! Why!!

 

Why can't I move when *I* want to???

 

I can't deal with this anymore.

 

Why? Is there no social security in your country for unemployed people until they find another job?

[setsenia]

Why? Is there no social security in your country for unemployed people until they find another job?

 

What country do you live in? In the U.S., SS is only for seniors and mentally handicapped. We have unemployment insurance in the U.S. but the benefits payable only pays up to about $1500 a month maximum, could be a lot less depending on how long you've been working and how much you make. Often in my experience, unemployment benefits is nowhere close to compensating for your bills. Often you might have to wait over a month just to receive a check and sometimes you might have to appeal a decision on benefits if your employer fights it, which could take several months. In the meantime, most people cannot put off their living expenses that long while they wait for unemployment insurance.

[UpDownAllAround]

Well, I found out more today. At the end of this month I will be the only person in this house with an income. I get to be "creepy guy living at home with mommy" indefinitely. No woman will want a relationship with that. How wonderful.

 

Happy 2012!! :mad: :mad:

[setsenia]

Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that. That really is a bummer. My husband was laid off his job in November due to business decline. Hopefully they will call him back when business picks up. Horrible time for a layoff before the holidays. Look at it this way though, you can easily tell people you are living with your mom at the moment to support the household. Might look more appealing than having to explain living with her because you cannot afford to move out. How long was your mom at her job? She looking for another full time job currently?

[UpDownAllAround]

Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that. That really is a bummer. My husband was laid off his job in November due to business decline. Hopefully they will call him back when business picks up. Horrible time for a layoff before the holidays. Look at it this way though, you can easily tell people you are living with your mom at the moment to support the household. Might look more appealing than having to explain living with her because you cannot afford to move out. How long was your mom at her job? She looking for another full time job currently?

 

For a long time...a couple decades at least.

 

But yeah she is. I sent over some opportunities I found. Quite surprisingly there are quite a few that would pay more. Hopefully they will pan out.

 

However, I see nothing good that can come of anything going on right now.

 

2012 was supposed to be great. Is it 2013 yet?

[Emilia]

What country do you live in? In the U.S., SS is only for seniors and mentally handicapped. We have unemployment insurance in the U.S. but the benefits payable only pays up to about $1500 a month maximum, could be a lot less depending on how long you've been working and how much you make. Often in my experience, unemployment benefits is nowhere close to compensating for your bills. Often you might have to wait over a month just to receive a check and sometimes you might have to appeal a decision on benefits if your employer fights it, which could take several months. In the meantime, most people cannot put off their living expenses that long while they wait for unemployment insurance.

 

In the UK. I believe it says under my user name.

 

So are the unemployed (there is a large number of them in the US) all starving to death then? Or are they (as I'm assuming they are doing) making ends meet, adjusting to temporary circumstances?

[Emilia]

For a long time...a couple decades at least.

 

But yeah she is. I sent over some opportunities I found. Quite surprisingly there are quite a few that would pay more. Hopefully they will pan out.

 

However, I see nothing good that can come of anything going on right now.

 

2012 was supposed to be great. Is it 2013 yet?

 

Makes no difference since you will find yet another reason why you can't move out