Moving to another country for love. How to solve certain things?

[Graviton]

I'm willing to move to another country in the case I find love abroad. But I see issues.

 

1. Visa. When you go abroad to most countries, you'll only get 3 months on your tourist visa, then you'll have to go back.

 

2. The rest of the year you'll have to spend without your love. You then probably engage in a long distance relationship. But that's not what I want, I want to be close to the woman I love and not have some online relationship.

 

3. One possibility is to marry, but I don't want to get married in three months, that's way too fast. I won't know the person well enough. Even if you'd engage in an long distance relationship like in point 2, then that doesn't mean you'll get to know that person as if they were close to you.

 

My main problem with this, is that you have to choose between two utmost things; either you stay only for three months per year with your love or you marry (too soon) in order to be able to stay together. Neither of these two choices seems like a good one.

 

How do/did some people solve this?

Edited December 25, 2011 by Graviton

[piggyoink]

Both of you go to Canada and study or work while you develop your relationship. Its one of the few countries that recognizes dual intent(unfortunately the US does not)

[Graviton]

Both of you go to Canada and study or work while you develop your relationship. Its one of the few countries that recognizes dual intent(unfortunately the US does not)

 

Ok, so you're saying that when one person lives in Sweden and the other lives in the US, we should both go to Canada to study? The thing is, I already have a degree and the women I tend to fall for do too. Usually they have a good job too.

 

Is it enough to just find a job in the US or Canada to be able to stay longer than 3 months? Just any job will do?

Edited December 26, 2011 by Graviton

[PlumPrincess]

How do/did some people solve this?

Is this a current problem or just a hypothetical case?

 

I avoid this problem by not actively seeking out people who are not planning to stay for a longer period of time.

[Graviton]

Is this a current problem or just a hypothetical case?

 

It's a hypothetical case.

 

I avoid this problem by not actively seeking out people who are not planning to stay for a longer period of time.

 

I don't avoid the problem, I take it head on, I just move abroad if I have to. But it's a bit pointless if you then have to leave after 3 months again and it's not very wise to marry within 3 months. That's the issue.

Edited December 26, 2011 by Graviton

[PlumPrincess]

It's a hypothetical case.

 

 

 

I don't avoid the problem, I take it head on, I just move abroad if I have to. But it's a bit pointless if you then have to leave after 3 months again and it's not very wise to marry within 3 months.

Are you living in a hotel with a high fluctuation of highly attractive travelers? Otherwise I don't really see any reason to explore all facets of this hypothetical case.

 

Also, in my experience, travelers in general are people in a transition zone of their life. They're not my first pick when it comes to choosing someone for a longterm relationship and that's the only case where I would consider to invest greater effort like travel to see someone.

[Graviton]

Are you living in a hotel with a high fluctuation of highly attractive travelers? Otherwise I don't really see any reason to explore all facets of this hypothetical case.

 

No I don't live in a hotel and it has nothing to do with travelers/tourists. It's just that it's possible to fall in love with a woman who lives in another country. If it was up to me I'd just move there in order to be together, but visa technicalities make the process difficult. Nevertheless, there are many people from different countries who get together. They're either marrying within those 3 months, which I don't think is wise or they solve it in another way.

 

I just want to be able to be together, without having to marry too soon.

 

I'm sure more people run into this issue and I want to know if there's a solution to this. If it's as simple as getting a job in a country in order to stay with your significant other, just any job, then I know what I have to do. So right now I'm looking for possible solutions. Something that's reasonable, something that allows us to be together, while at the same time not forcing us to marry.

[FitChick]

Other than marrying, you can stay in a country by being a student or getting a work visa. You might want to ask on the Long Distance Forum. But who said you have to marry in three months? Why not travel back and forth, spending a week every other month or so, getting to know each other? If you don't have patience and are needy, don't do long distance dating. I speak from experience.

[piggyoink]

Ok, so you're saying that when one person lives in Sweden and the other lives in the US, we should both go to Canada to study? The thing is, I already have a degree and the women I tend to fall for do too. Usually they have a good job too.

 

Is it enough to just find a job in the US or Canada to be able to stay longer than 3 months? Just any job will do?

 

- i just mean if you go to the US as a temporary visitor(tourist or student or work visa) changing it to a spousal visa without first going home and applying again is complicated since the US doesnt officially recognize dual intent.

 

- canada recognizes dual intent. that means if you apply for whatever temporary visa, and then later on you marry and your spouse sponsors you, you don't have to go home first.

 

-i'm just saying that if you or someone is the type of person that wouldn't want to be apart for even 6 to 12 months, then working or studying in canada while you are doing your 'paperwork' is an idea.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Since evidently you are not interested in anyone specific who lives in another country … maybe you could not seek love with people in other countries, since it presents all these problems?

 

Or if you are interested in women from some country in particular, find work there, get a work visa and look for your true love.

[El Brujo]

Just go there and declare your intention to defect. That's what I'd do.

[Jynxx]

Sounds like a terrible terrible idea.

 

As for the visa stuff, that's easy. Travel there, set up an appointment with a medium expensive accountant and he'll explain what's possible and what's not, most often for a very reasonable fee compared to US standards. I've lived in 5 countries the last 5 years this way.

[FitChick]

There are various expat forums where you can meet other people in the same situation as you and who can give advice based on their experiences, not speculation. If you want to meet Americans, try the British Expats forum which, while most members are Brits, their spouses and significant others are American.

[taiko]

I'm willing to move to another country in the case I find love abroad. But I see issues.

 

1. Visa. When you go abroad to most countries, you'll only get 3 months on your tourist visa, then you'll have to go back.

 

2. The rest of the year you'll have to spend without your love. You then probably engage in a long distance relationship. But that's not what I want, I want to be close to the woman I love and not have some online relationship.

 

3. One possibility is to marry, but I don't want to get married in three months, that's way too fast. I won't know the person well enough. Even if you'd engage in an long distance relationship like in point 2, then that doesn't mean you'll get to know that person as if they were close to you.

 

My main problem with this, is that you have to choose between two utmost things; either you stay only for three months per year with your love or you marry (too soon) in order to be able to stay together. Neither of these two choices seems like a good one.

 

How do/did some people solve this?

You don't have to marry within three months, but then you are not going to "date" either. The entire reason is to get betrothed if not legally married during that first or second trip. As few nations recognize civil unions for their internal immigration purposes, certainly not a mere informal agreement to stay together you should only go down this route if you intend a life commitment

[Graviton]

Why not travel back and forth, spending a week every other month or so, getting to know each other? If you don't have patience and are needy, don't do long distance dating. I speak from experience.

 

Do you know what it costs to fly over every week from Sweden to the US? That's not an option.

 

I don't want to have a long distance relationship, because I don't want to do an online or phone relationship, that's not enough.

 

If things were as easy as grabbing my clothes, getting on a plane and finding a job, just any job, then I'd be up for that.

 

- i just mean if you go to the US as a temporary visitor(tourist or student or work visa) changing it to a spousal visa without first going home and applying again is complicated since the US doesnt officially recognize dual intent.

 

- canada recognizes dual intent. that means if you apply for whatever temporary visa, and then later on you marry and your spouse sponsors you, you don't have to go home first.

 

I'll look into it.

 

Since evidently you are not interested in anyone specific who lives in another country … maybe you could not seek love with people in other countries, since it presents all these problems?

 

Or if you are interested in women from some country in particular, find work there, get a work visa and look for your true love.

 

I want to keep all my options open. If I just happen to meet someone on a trip, then I don't want to let it die down to nothing, just because of some legal difficulties.

 

Just go there and declare your intention to defect. That's what I'd do.

 

US immigration authorities see me coming: Hello, my name is Graviton and I defected from Sweden.

 

I'd love to see the reaction on their faces.

 

As for the visa stuff, that's easy. Travel there, set up an appointment with a medium expensive accountant and he'll explain what's possible and what's not, most often for a very reasonable fee compared to US standards. I've lived in 5 countries the last 5 years this way.

 

Not sure what you're saying here. What do accountants have to do with visa requirements?

 

There are various expat forums where you can meet other people in the same situation as you and who can give advice based on their experiences, not speculation. If you want to meet Americans, try the British Expats forum which, while most members are Brits, their spouses and significant others are American.

 

Good idea. I'll look into it. Thanks.

 

you should only go down this route if you intend a life commitment

 

Such are my intentions.

[Jynxx]

Not sure what you're saying here. What do accountants have to do with visa requirements?

 

Visa requirements tend to be alot more complicated than you'd think. There will usually be more than 10 different routes to go that allow you to stay in the country for longer than with a tourist visa(ie student, get an employer to pay you for 8 hours a week, get someone to vouch for you etc), it tends to be different for every country. Get a local professional to sort it out for you.

[FitChick]

That's what immigration attorneys do, not accountants.

[Graviton]

I did some reading on the subject and it seems that the US also allows dual intent under certain types of visas. But it's all a lot stricter than Canada.

 

The US has multiple types of visas that have letters assigned to them. Every type of visa allows a person to enter the country on different terms and they've split the visa types into two main types: immigration visas and non-immigration visas.

 

So they have visas for temporary stays and for permanent residence.

 

And pretty much every visa type has sub-types, which are indicated by numbers, like B-2 for example.

 

And lastly they have dependency visas, which are visas intended for people who are dependent on other people, like wives/husbands, children, etc.

 

That's what I've read about it so far.

 

Canada is similar, yet has has a bit of a different style system. People who intend to immigrate get points assigned to them. The more points you get, the higher the chance is that you're allowed to stay. So for example if you speak English you get a number of points, if you're educated then again you get a number of points, if you're from Europe or a country in the Anglosphere, if you speak French, and so on.

 

It's all somewhat complicated, but not incomprehensible. The process seems to involve a lot of bureaucracy and can take a lot of time, but it's possible.

Edited December 28, 2011 by Graviton

[FitChick]

It's all somewhat complicated, but not incomprehensible. The process seems to involve a lot of bureaucracy and can take a lot of time.

So why don't you just walk across the US/Mexico border with the thousands of others who come across everyday?

[Graviton]

So why don't you just walk across the US/Mexico border with the thousands of others who come across everyday?

 

I think the official and legal route is better, because at some point you need an income and it would probably be hard(er) to find work as an illegal.

 

Did you walk across the Mexican border? (being an expat)

[FitChick]

I think the official and legal route is better, because at some point you need an income and it would probably be hard(er) to find work as an illegal.

 

Did you walk across the Mexican border? (being an expat)

 

I'm American. I live in a city with millions of illegals and in my neighborhood, they drive newer cars than mine and always seem to pay with wads of cash at the supermarket. When you are illegal, you don't have to pay income taxes. Which is why they should abolish the income tax and just have VAT or the sales tax or Fair Tax so at least the freeloaders would carry more of the financial burden.

 

A co-worker transfered to my company when the Swedish office closed. She said her taxes are higher here yet, unlike Sweden, she gets nothing for it. Lousy roads, lousy schools, high crime, expensive childcare and healthcare even with insurance. She can't wait to leave.

 

I wouldn't mind moving to Canada, especially in the Calgary area with the excellent outdoor activities and scenery. I'd like to find a good Canadian dating website if anyone can recommend one.

[taiko]

I'm American. I live in a city with millions of illegals and in my neighborhood, they drive newer cars than mine and always seem to pay with wads of cash at the supermarket. When you are illegal, you don't have to pay income taxes. Which is why they should abolish the income tax and just have VAT or the sales tax or Fair Tax so at least the freeloaders would carry more of the financial burden.

.

Well if they are illegal odds are they dropped an anchor and that citizen child is able to access many things

[Eve]

Hope you know plenty about the positives and negatives of Swedish culture and weather conditions.

 

Housing would be a massive issue as they have a waiting list system in operation there. Most Swedish Nationals club together and buy a house once they have completed University, which is a huge investment.

 

I would maybe visit in the first instance.

 

Sweden is beautiful but I would say it is not an easy place to move to.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[FitChick]

Well if they are illegal odds are they dropped an anchor and that citizen child is able to access many things

 

In California they don't even need anchor babies. A new law just passed allows anyone to apply for food stamps and they no longer require fingerprints, which had been used in the past to prevent fraud.

 

But we are hijacking this thread...

 

A friend of mine has friends in Norway and loves the place. He also loves the cold.