The 1 year Update

[Country_Girl]

Well, as of 2 days ago I have reached the 1 year mark. Honestly I don't know how I made it through, this year has been a rollercoaster of emotions. When the breakup happened, I thought my life was over. I was prepared to spend the rest of my life with him, good times or bad. So many bombshells I had to deal with in our relationship- his porn addiction, his passive agressive ways, his constant lying, our "fake" marriage. I wanted to fight for it, but he chose to give up. He strung me along for months after our breakup- perhaps as an ego boost, and also to relieve guilt.

 

Over the summer I tried dating, I realize now I wasn't ready. I had walls up and pretty much dated guys that I could never form a relationship with. It was my fear of abandonment at play, trying to protect me

 

I hit another emotional wall in July, when I found out my wedding ring was a fake diamond. To this day he still doesn't know that I know. Since June it's been very low contact, maybe a text every few months.

 

This year has been a rollercoaster to say the least. So many ups and downs, but mostly up. I know this much, I would never take him back. I won't go there- he completley destroyed my self esteam. I think about that year living with him, he would only touch me maybe once a month. I practically had to beg to be intimate with him.

 

A few days ago I shed some tears. Not for him or for our past relationship. I cried for that girl I used to know, a complete stranger to me now. That girl was scared and thought her future was hopeless. She sat in the airport getting ready to board a plane from Canada back to the US after giving up everything to be with the one she loved. She didn't have a job anymore, no car, the ex didn't even leave her with a dollar. Her bag was 2 pounds over the limit and she broke down to the baggage lady to keep her extra things, because that suitcase was all she had.

 

It was a rough year, but I made it. I secured full time work, rebuilt my wardrobe, bought a truck in November, and made some really great friends. What I found out when my relationship was over- is that life didn't end. It actually began.

 

I started dating someone the first of this month- I am very happy with how things are progressing. I don't think about the ex anymore, or "what could have been".

 

So 1 year later I can now say I am complete. I had to rebuild everything, and it was a lonely dark road- but I did it on my own and I'm proud of that.

 

So all of you dealing with breakups- think of it as your life just begining. If you were dumped- rest assured, life will go on and you will make it. I know for a fact my ex has not worked on any of the things he set to correct in his life and yet he was going to use our "space" appart to do that. But me? I accomplished everything I wanted and more. Life is good, you just have to trust it will get better :-).

[BoredAgain]

Congrats. I'm glad everything is going so well for you!

[solobeary]

Great post, thanks for the update

 

Congratulations!

[Philosoraptor]

Glad you made it. So many give up and they need to read stories like this.

 

I took the same route. This isn't life ending, this is a chance to start over and make it better. My life has been no less than awesome since I took that route.

 

It's like when you are playing with blocks and it falls down. You don't just sit there and look at the broken castle. You figure out why it fell down (your issues) and rebuild it with a better plan. You've been given the clay to rebuild your life so start molding

[Magda70]

Well, as of 2 days ago I have reached the 1 year mark. Honestly I don't know how I made it through, this year has been a rollercoaster of emotions.

 

country girl,

 

when I read your post, I thought it was me having written it at least to what concern my ex....my gosh...

 

Luckily, he spared me the fake diamond ring...

[Almond_Joy]

Your update is a great inspiration, Country_Girl. Thank you for sharing!