Inexperienced males vs females with too much experience

[LTP]

Which is worse?

[Pizzaman81]

Inexperienced in what respect? Relationship? Sex?

 

For me, I like experienced women. They tend to know how to display themselves, show certain emotions when the time is right, etc. With inexperienced women, I sometimes feel like I have to babysit them.

 

Ok now that was not related to your question. Hmm... since usually the man is the chaser, an inexperienced man would be at a slight disadvantage if he were up against an experienced man.

[LTP]

Inexperienced in what respect? Relationship? Sex?

 

For me, I like experienced women. They tend to know how to display themselves, show certain emotions when the time is right, etc. With inexperienced women, I sometimes feel like I have to babysit them.

 

Ok now that was not related to your question. Hmm... since usually the man is the chaser, an inexperienced man would be at a slight disadvantage if he were up against an experienced man.

 

Both. I've noticed men with little experience have it awful, but so do women with too much of a history or too many past partners. Which is a bigger disadvantage?

[Pizzaman81]

Both. I've noticed men with little experience have it awful, but so do women with too much of a history or too many past partners. Which is a bigger disadvantage?

 

Here's the thing... it's easier to hide the fact that you've got too much experience than to pretend you have lots. So I think the man gets it a bit worse.

[jobaba]

Both. I've noticed men with little experience have it awful, but so do women with too much of a history or too many past partners. Which is a bigger disadvantage?

 

Unless those many past partners have produced many little children, then there is no disadvantage really for women who have dated a lot.

 

For inexperienced men, the older they get without having a GF, the smaller the pool shrinks of women who will take them.

[Emilia]

It actually depends on personality. I've dated a sexually inexperienced man recently and it was terrible, he was so nervous and clueless (and I'm not talking about acrobatics) it was a real passion killer. The worst sex I've ever had was with inexperienced guys who were also two pump chumps.

 

The person I went out with before my last fling was also not the most experienced guy - he was only 21 - but he was much more clued up about how to build rapport and intimacy and we had a great time.

 

I also dated men who had way too much baggage and a serious number of sexual partners but somehow still became bitter and unhappy.

 

So I'd say experience counts for little, it's personality and character that you should be after.

[kaylan]

EDIT.

 

I like a happy medium. Dont want a noob, but dont want someone whos way past my level.

Edited December 26, 2011 by kaylan

[samsungxoxo]

Well if you have too much experience (as long as there aren't any children involve) you can always lied and hide that but if you're past a certain age (for example: 30-35 years old) and still have never been in a relationship then you can't really act like an experienced person.

 

I think a virgin in the early to late 30's is concerning and I'll probably be wondering what's wrong with that person.

 

early to late 20's... it's still acceptable to be a virgin (man or woman).

[kaylan]

^I dunno, Id say early 20s is the absolute latest age Id be ok with a virgin girl. If a girls still a virgin at 22/23 its a huge red flag and makes me wonder what her issue is.

 

I had drama with virgins when I was young, and I cant imagine those issues being any better with older virgins.

[LTP]

Inexperienced males have it worse based on the responses so far, unless the female has lots of children. Can any amount of peronality and character offset this?

[LTP]

Here's the thing... it's easier to hide the fact that you've got too much experience than to pretend you have lots. So I think the man gets it a bit worse.

 

Is it a bad thing to hide it? For example a woman who's had a lot of parners could undercount and a man who's had few or none could overcount. What if the questions are never asked or can you deduce it from behavior?

[carhill]

Laying there as a receptacle doesn't amount to 'experience'. The best teacher of that dynamic was the vast disparity in experience between myself and my exW, essentially 3 versus 40+. If anyone was tentative in the bedroom it was her. Verbally and in actions. No disrespect to her at all but sheer numbers doesn't always equate to a skilled or empassioned lover. Feelings and desire do. That's where the people who think relationships have a disadvantage, IMO.

[Pizzaman81]

Is it a bad thing to hide it? For example a woman who's had a lot of parners could undercount and a man who's had few or none could overcount. What if the questions are never asked or can you deduce it from behavior?

 

You might be able to deduce it from behavior. MIGHT. But if the man is a gentleman to begin with and social, you will never know, which is fine! It's just the nervous wrecks that turn people off. Same goes with women.

 

You don't have to say how many or few relationships you've been in, just act normal when you are with the current one and you'll be fine.

Edited December 27, 2011 by Pizzaman81

[Sanman]

The inexperienced, especially men, seem to have the toughest time entering into a relationship and coping with new experiences (such as sex). On the other hand, I find that those who have a large number of partners sometimes have trouble committing. As women tend to get a attached to man via sex, I wonder how much such things play into their ability to ultimately settle into a happy relationship.

[silvermercy]

^I dunno, Id say early 20s is the absolute latest age Id be ok with a virgin girl. If a girls still a virgin at 22/23 its a huge red flag and makes me wonder what her issue is.

 

I had drama with virgins when I was young, and I cant imagine those issues being any better with older virgins.

I have (and had in the past) female friends who are 23, 24 and 25 year old or so virgins (and older) and are very well adjusted and really great people!! Thank you very much! They are all also very pretty and have men falling at their feet. (One of them could actually pass for Adriana Lima - who ironically was also a virgin until she got married at around 27). They have this rare thing called morals and also don't want to give their body to the first taker who may use them just for sex!

I don't want to live on this planet anymore! Where today virgins are treated like they have cholera or something! I give up on this world...

 

PS. Yes, I think it's indeed your own bad experience with virgins.

[Feelsgoodman]

I have (and had in the past) female friends who are 23, 24 and 25 year old or so virgins (and older) and are very well adjusted and really great people!! Thank you very much! They are all also very pretty and have men falling at their feet. (One of them could actually pass for Adriana Lima - who ironically was also a virgin until she got married at around 27). They have this rare thing called morals and also don't want to give their body to the first taker who may use them just for sex!

Out of curiosity, have you inspected these women's vaginas to confirm the veracity of their stories? You do realize that people have occasionally been known to lie about such things, right?

[silvermercy]

Out of curiosity, have you inspected these women's vaginas to confirm the veracity of their stories? You do realize that people have occasionally been known to lie about such things, right?

We grew up together and couldn't be closer. Trust me I WOULD know if they lied!! I was one of them, too!

 

*sigh* One more reason to hope for an alien abduction and leave this world behind... Now people think older virgins lie.

[samsungxoxo]

I have (and had in the past) female friends who are 23, 24 and 25 year old or so virgins (and older) and are very well adjusted and really great people!! Thank you very much! They are all also very pretty and have men falling at their feet. (One of them could actually pass for Adriana Lima - who ironically was also a virgin until she got married at around 27). They have this rare thing called morals and also don't want to give their body to the first taker who may use them just for sex!

I don't want to live on this planet anymore! Where today virgins are treated like they have cholera or something! I give up on this world...

 

PS. Yes, I think it's indeed your own bad experience with virgins.

I think you can have morals too if your number is low but you don't believe in waiting till marriage (and never did) but are into ''waiting for the right moment'' in the relationship.

I don't see any point in a serious relationship heading towards marriage eventually but without intmacy. IMO there has to be everything involved. Why would I need a legalized paper to have sex?

 

Besides I think there are more important things than ''waiting till marriage'' and that is having integrity. No point in dating if you're being dishonest with him/her.

Edited December 27, 2011 by samsungxoxo

[silvermercy]

I think you can have morals too if your number is low but you don't believe in waiting till marriage (and never did) but are into ''waiting for the right moment'' in the relationship.

I don't see any point in a serious relationship heading towards marriage eventually but without intmacy. IMO there has to be everything involved. Why would I need a legalized paper to have sex?

 

Besides I think there are more important things than ''waiting till marriage'' and that is having integrity. No point in dating if you're being dishonest with him/her.

 

I never said any of us wanted to "wait until marriage". No, we were not in that category. And, yes, sure, if your number is low of course you can still have morals. We just wanted to wait until the Right Man (as in Boy-Friend) came along. And it almost never came. Maybe we were too picky, I don't know...

 

There are some misconceptions about ALL virgins, especially virgins-by-choice. Let me clear that up: they are not ugly, they are not lacking in people's skills, they are not loners and they are not religious-fanatics (and we were none of these). They also don't want to wait until marriage necessarily (only for the right boyfriend). They DO have an incredible ability to resist peer-pressure though.

[Ross MwcFan]

I have (and had in the past) female friends who are 23, 24 and 25 year old or so virgins (and older) and are very well adjusted and really great people!! Thank you very much! They are all also very pretty and have men falling at their feet. (One of them could actually pass for Adriana Lima - who ironically was also a virgin until she got married at around 27). They have this rare thing called morals and also don't want to give their body to the first taker who may use them just for sex!

I don't want to live on this planet anymore! Where today virgins are treated like they have cholera or something! I give up on this world...

 

PS. Yes, I think it's indeed your own bad experience with virgins.

 

There is nothing 'immoral' about having sex before marrige, or when not in a relationship.

Edited December 27, 2011 by Ross MwcFan

[WhiteChocolate]

There is nothing 'immoral' about having sex before marrige, or when not in a relationship.

Wouldn't this depend on who you ask?

[silvermercy]

There is nothing 'immoral' about having sex before marrige, or when not in a relationship.

I never said we wanted to wait until marriage. It's a very big misconception about virgins. Also, I don't see the point in having sex outside a relationship. It's not so much about morals as about the fact I don't want to be used as someone's sex relief. I cannot compartmentalize, and would love to find a man who can't either.

 

I'll also agree with WhiteChocolate, depends on whom you ask. A prostitute for example would say she sees nothing wrong with getting paid to sell her body. (Not judging, just saying average people would never dream of doing that).

 

No, I wouldn't say it's immoral. But there IS such a thing having "high" and "low" morals. The expression exists for a reason.

Morals: A person's standards of behavior or beliefs concerning what is and is not acceptable for them to do.

[zengirl]

Most women who are discerning about experience (less women than you think, really; mostly, the reason inexperienced males strike out isn't because women are so discerning about that quality but that they continue the same patterns that made them inexperienced from the get-go and women don't become magically drawn to them where they weren't before) think about whether the guy has had relationships, not sex. Obviously, most relationships include sex in this day and age, and past a certain life stage, but it's not ABOUT the sex. A guy could've had TONS of sex, and the women who care about "experience" would still reject him if he lacked relationship experience.

 

The thought is that one does not normally succeed at a relationship, at a later age, without first having some kind of experience---not only has the man had no productive relationship experience, but he's built a life of experiences around being single---thus all his experiences are counterproductive to a relationship. The same would be true of a constantly single woman, whether promiscuous or not, but less men seem discerning about that is all; the men that do generally make smarter choices. Too many men, instead, focus erratically on sex partners, as though that tells you anything. It really doesn't, unless you're talking wild extremes (which really isn't about the # but the extreme behavior and repercussions involved).

 

Who gets more ugliness? Women who have admittedly had more sex partners than people think they should've. They get sex-shaming from both genders. But they can also hide it better and since such ugliness and vitriol is public, they also have an easier time navigating away from it.

 

Whereas inexperienced men are not really crippled by their inexperience (though certain groups would taunt them about it; others would be sympathetic); they're crippled by whatever led them to be inexperienced in the first place. Yet they are less likely to break free from the cycle.

 

So, it's a bit of apples and oranges is all.

[kaylan]

I have (and had in the past) female friends who are 23, 24 and 25 year old or so virgins (and older) and are very well adjusted and really great people!! Thank you very much! They are all also very pretty and have men falling at their feet. (One of them could actually pass for Adriana Lima - who ironically was also a virgin until she got married at around 27). They have this rare thing called morals and also don't want to give their body to the first taker who may use them just for sex!

I don't want to live on this planet anymore! Where today virgins are treated like they have cholera or something! I give up on this world...

 

PS. Yes, I think it's indeed your own bad experience with virgins.

Meh, Im sure they are great girls. But Id run far from an over 21/22 virgin. This is based on my experience, friends, and reading enough online from folks who have dealt with older virgins. It seems to magnify the issues I dealt with, the older the person gets.

 

Things like sexual hangups, obvious lack of experience with most things sexual...even though youd think theyd get practice in on the other stuff in all their sexless years...then not to mention clingy-ness. Having sexual experience is a big part of life experience imo. I dont wanna be a teacher and guide someone sexually and emotionally again. Its very stressful, so Id rather have an equal.

 

Im sure they have men falling at their feet. There are always guys around to throw themselves at any decent looking girl. Plus when a girl is an older virgin, guys start to mark her as a target to conquer more so than when she was younger. Theres a novelty in that, but some guys might not be ready to stick around if shes not what he wants in bed or has hangups. Men have these convos, but its usually the guys who have never had virgins who talk like that. Ive been there, done that.

 

Plenty of folks have morals and lose their virginity in their teens. So get off the high horse. I just prefer a woman who knows her body already and knows what she wants in bed and how to please me as well. Like I said, I seek an equal and not a student.

 

It doesnt work for me, but Im sure it works for others.

 

P.S. - People can have high morals and still have their fun. I know Ive had my fun within reason, and at 25 Im not done having fun yet.

Edited December 27, 2011 by kaylan

[silvermercy]

Meh, Im sure they are great girls. But Id run far from an over 21/22 virgin. This is based on my experience, friends, and reading enough online from folks who have dealt with older virgins. It seems to magnify the issues I dealt with, the older the person gets.

 

Things like sexual hangups, obvious lack of experience with most things sexual...even though youd think theyd get practice in on the other stuff in all their sexless years...then not to mention clingy-ness. Having sexual experience is a big part of life experience imo. I dont wanna be a teacher and guide someone sexually and emotionally again. Its very stressful, so Id rather have an equal.

 

Im sure they have men falling at their feet. There are always guys around to throw themselves at any decent looking girl. Plus when a girl is an older virgin, guys start to mark her as a target to conquer more so than when she was younger. Theres a novelty in that, but some guys might not be ready to stick around if shes not what he wants in bed or has hangups. Men have these convos, but its usually the guys who have never had virgins who talk like that. Ive been there, done that.

 

Plenty of folks have morals and lose their virginity in their teens. So get off the high horse. I just prefer a woman who knows her body already and knows what she wants in bed and how to please me as well. Like I said, I seek an equal and not a student.

 

It doesnt work for me, but Im sure it works for others.

 

P.S. - People can have high morals and still have their fun. I know Ive had my fun within reason, and at 25 Im not done having fun yet.

 

LOL! Someone who's not a slut and refuses to be used as a sex toy is on a high horse! Good one! Thanks for the laugh! XD All fear the clingy virgins!!! LMAO!!! They will suck the life out of everyone in their path!

 

Don't worry, you are safe, we would have never dated men like you either. Men who mostly care about how good a woman is in bed and also their great reluctance to teach her speaks volumes about their overall personality as a whole: to be avoided for serious relationships. But again you don't strike me as one for wanting anything long-term anyway. So point is moot.

 

PS: The common denominator in your "virgin fiasco" was you, btw.

PS2: See the definition of morals.

PS3: The men falling at their feet don't know they are virgins (and no, they don't give out any... "virgin signals" either, before you ask).

PS4: That's not about being "equal" in bed. But maybe you're a male feminist. So good for you, if so!

Edited December 27, 2011 by silvermercy