Inexperienced males vs females with too much experience

[LTP]

I don't think it's right to lie to get a job either, so that's an apt analogy. And there's always ways around that.

 

Lying and withholding information are often not the same thing and it depends on what the topic is at hand. When interviewing for a job, it's not wise for someone to mention their weaknesses. If the interviewer asks a question which exposes a weakness, you should tell the truth.

[LTP]

hehe... It is, isn't it? because it's so full of love... aaww...

 

 

Oh, it's OK Lucy, I decided to go with ultra-concentrated oxytocin shots this time.

 

It appeals to my geeky side and it's so full of love. What a combination.

[LTP]

Many people have sex just for fun.

 

Personally the idea of '****ing' sounds a lot better than 'making love'.

 

Many people do, but making love is far more meaningful than sex with someone you just met.

[zengirl]

How is it immoral to withhold being a virgin and how can you compare to someone withholding that they have an STD? You sleep with someone who has an STD and you may get it which is a very bad thing. You sleep with someone who is a virgin and what bad can become of it? You are quick to give the experienced a pass, but when it comes to virgins not telling you is lying. Your and others refusal to say that it is not an issue is usually why men will not be forthcoming about it.

 

I said NOT an STD. I was comparing it to say, getting emotionally involved with someone without mentioning you have cancer or any other large news (good or bad) honestly. I would consider any large information not given to me, in the context of intimacy, as lying yes. And you know it is, or you wouldn't have the urge to hide it. If you didn't think it might be important information that'd change the situation, there'd be no discussion about hiding it. I think if one has had a sexual past with anything that they reasonably believe might be pertinent and important to the other person, they need to share it, but I don't think most people give two fracks about the difference between 3 and 5 sexual partners --- they just don't. If you've had a really wild, kinky, strange sex life, you should share that too. If you've had homosexual experiences or are bi and are engaging in a heterosexual relationship (or vice versa), you should share that too. Basically anything that is generally considered "important" should be shared. And the difference between 0 sex partners and 1 is considered vital information to almost everyone.

[ThaWholigan]

I said NOT an STD. I was comparing it to say, getting emotionally involved with someone without mentioning you have cancer or any other large news (good or bad) honestly. I would consider any large information not given to me, in the context of intimacy, as lying yes. And you know it is, or you wouldn't have the urge to hide it. If you didn't think it might be important information that'd change the situation, there'd be no discussion about hiding it. I think if one has had a sexual past with anything that they reasonably believe might be pertinent and important to the other person, they need to share it, but I don't think most people give two fracks about the difference between 3 and 5 sexual partners --- they just don't. If you've had a really wild, kinky, strange sex life, you should share that too. If you've had homosexual experiences or are bi and are engaging in a heterosexual relationship (or vice versa), you should share that too. Basically anything that is generally considered "important" should be shared. And the difference between 0 sex partners and 1 is considered vital information to almost everyone.

 

If nobody wants to date you because you're inexperienced, one will be tempted to lie about it. I wouldn't do it personally, but I understand why someone would omit that information.

 

It would be painstakingly obvious though

[LTP]

I said NOT an STD. I was comparing it to say, getting emotionally involved with someone without mentioning you have cancer or any other large news (good or bad) honestly. I would consider any large information not given to me, in the context of intimacy, as lying yes. And you know it is, or you wouldn't have the urge to hide it. If you didn't think it might be important information that'd change the situation, there'd be no discussion about hiding it. I think if one has had a sexual past with anything that they reasonably believe might be pertinent and important to the other person, they need to share it, but I don't think most people give two fracks about the difference between 3 and 5 sexual partners --- they just don't. If you've had a really wild, kinky, strange sex life, you should share that too. If you've had homosexual experiences or are bi and are engaging in a heterosexual relationship (or vice versa), you should share that too. Basically anything that is generally considered "important" should be shared. And the difference between 0 sex partners and 1 is considered vital information to almost everyone.

 

It is different because so many have an extreme aversion not just to virgins but those with too little experience. Time and again you and some others compare it to far bigger issues. What if someone tells you? Is the relationship over in a split second? It's deemed a very bad thing by so many yet how can it be? It puts the male into an impossible situation.

[LTP]

It is different because so many have an extreme aversion not just to virgins but those with too little experience. Time and again you and some others compare it to far bigger issues. What if someone tells you? Is the relationship over in a split second? It's deemed a very bad thing by so many yet how can it be? It puts the male into an impossible situation.

 

I don't think men would be tempted to lie about it if so many women didn't make it into an absolute roadblock. If more were accepting of it, this wouldn't even be an issue.

[carhill]

If they're not accepting of a different level of experience and style of love, then they're incompatible. Give them no thought nor attention. They're not for you. Wasting time, energy and emotion on incompatible women was, retrospectively, a large contributor to bitterness I felt during that period. I made them, and their opinions of my 'experience', more important than they really were. In reality they were a few voices amongst billions. Really, nothing.

[zengirl]

It is different because so many have an extreme aversion not just to virgins but those with too little experience. Time and again you and some others compare it to far bigger issues. What if someone tells you? Is the relationship over in a split second? It's deemed a very bad thing by so many yet how can it be? It puts the male into an impossible situation.

 

Saying, "Well, people lie about it because other people might reject them if they knew the truth," is illustrating my point in terms of why its blatantly WRONG to lie about it.

 

That's true with everything. If anything, when disclosed, would change the scenario and you KNOW it (or at least strongly suspect it), I think you have to disclose it. That's my moral code - what I hold myself and others to.

 

For instance, with my hubby, I happened to know that he worked with my ex when we first started talking. I told him right away, in a "just in case this matters" way because I think to some people, it might. It didn't matter to him, but he's very honest, like I am, so he appreciated the honesty. If he'd said, "Oh, yeah, we can't date then," I would've been bummed but accepted it. Because it was the right thing to do.

 

How could you possibly be with someone you have to lie to forever?

[LTP]

Saying, "Well, people lie about it because other people might reject them if they knew the truth," is illustrating my point in terms of why its blatantly WRONG to lie about it.

 

That's true with everything. If anything, when disclosed, would change the scenario and you KNOW it (or at least strongly suspect it), I think you have to disclose it. That's my moral code - what I hold myself and others to.

 

For instance, with my hubby, I happened to know that he worked with my ex when we first started talking. I told him right away, in a "just in case this matters" way because I think to some people, it might. It didn't matter to him, but he's very honest, like I am, so he appreciated the honesty. If he'd said, "Oh, yeah, we can't date then," I would've been bummed but accepted it. Because it was the right thing to do.

 

How could you possibly be with someone you have to lie to forever?

 

Leaving it out is not lying about it and doesn't mean it wouldn't be brought up later on in the relationship. What kind of moral code do people have who judge the inexperiencd to such an extreme? This reeks of hypocrisy. It is dishearening that just one woman out of everyone in this thread is unequivocally non judgmental. At least there's one. This all would never be an issue with her or anyone similar to her. The amount of assumptions and generalizations is just astounding.