Almond_Joy Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 I'm with someone new, haven't seen my ex since January or talked to him since May/June. Haven't really thought about him in two months...but yesterday was our anniversary. And I found myself hoping against all reality that I'd hear from him last night. An email, a text, an fb message....something. I thought this was behind me, that I was over it.... I feel so damn stupid, and sad. Sad that I still miss that love when my ex moved on nearly a year ago. Also feeling guilty, because I'm not loving this new person the way I loved my ex. Mostly because I'm scared of getting hurt again, scared that any passion I show won't be reciprocated, or will be misunderstood. I feel like a shell of myself, walking around pretending to be a fully present person. I don't know...just hoping time and perspective will change me, help me get back to the person I was. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 I understand that you still have healing to do. And there is no issue with that, everyone heals at different rates. But you need to talk to this new person about your fears. You can't make comparisons betweeen relationships as they are completely different. And that is a good thing because the last one ended so why would you want the same? Mine was weeks after it ended and I wasn't hopeful, just worried that such things would hurt me. I just kept good company that day and didn't spend my time worried. Nothing came and in the end I didn't care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Almond_Joy Posted December 28, 2011 Author Share Posted December 28, 2011 Thanks for the feedback. After I made this post, I started feeling better. I needed to get it out in the open. And based on past conversations, I know both me and my new fellow are carrying some baggage. I realized I have the opportunity to build something new, and that I'm not the same person I was nearly a year ago. I did get on with doing other things that needed my attention - cleaning, work, school - after I made this post. And I felt normal again by the end of the day. I think by this time next year, I'll truly be past this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Almond_Joy Posted December 28, 2011 Author Share Posted December 28, 2011 Thanks for the feedback. After I made this post, I started feeling better. I needed to get it out in the open. And based on past conversations, I know both me and my new fellow are carrying some baggage. I realized I have the opportunity to build something new, and better than I had before. I'm also not the same person I was nearly a year ago, which is certainly a good thing. I did get on with doing other things that needed my attention - cleaning, work, school - after I made this post. I spent some time with my new boyfriend last night, and I'm normal again now. This morning I checked my ex's fb. I realized I've been holding onto a possibility that he wanted to get back together, because he never gave me a definite no when I asked if he wants to be with me again sometime in the future. It turns out he dumped me to be with his coworker, and I'm guessing they've been together since he started working, which was at least 6 months ago. That realization didn't hurt, like I thought it would, and I'm relieved in a way. I think by this time next year, I'll truly be past this. Link to post Share on other sites
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