My ex actually appologized

[Randybrandt]

I was not expecting this one at all. She was an evil,evil person and I was very mad at her but today on Skype she messaged me saying Randy I never meant to hurt you. I was scared and didn't know how to tell you so I avoided conflict and blamed you and I am truely sorry. I am shocked! I never ever thought she would appologize for hurting me but she did. I said yes I forgive you but i do not forgive your behavior by any means. She asked if we could be mates and I said in time yes but at this moment no. I do want to thank you for finally saying you are sorry for hurting me. I never ever contacted her ever and wasn't planning on it but suddenly this instant message pops up on my screen and it is my ex girlfriend saying she is sorry for hurting me. I would of never thought in a million years that would of happened. I wonder what made her finally break down and say she's sorry?

[Philosoraptor]

No need to wonder. Forgive her for her actions and be glad she has shown growth in maturity. Unless there is more you didn't share you handled this great. Continue to go NC and heal yourself.

[Randybrandt]

I am quite proud of her and I am glad she was able to finally admit she was wrong and never meant to hurt me. It shows maybe she does have some heart in her after all. I hope one day we can hang out as mates but right now I am liking it right where it is just former exes talking things out once and for all and finally getting closure.

[lilyblue]

I am quite proud of her and I am glad she was able to finally admit she was wrong and never meant to hurt me. It shows maybe she does have some heart in her after all. I hope one day we can hang out as mates but right now I am liking it right where it is just former exes talking things out once and for all and finally getting closure.

 

Very happy for you. That must feel so great, I would imagine like a weight lifted. I hope someday my ex does the same...

[Randybrandt]

Thank you:D I do feel like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulder. I used to be very bitter towards her and even had some resentment but after she said actually showed some maturity and showed she has a nice side I forgave her. I hope to be mates with her at some point and hang out like we used to ( not sexually) just hanging out and chatting but first I need to fully get over her and realize there is no more us.

[stellastreet]

Thank you:D I do feel like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulder. I used to be very bitter towards her and even had some resentment but after she said actually showed some maturity and showed she has a nice side I forgave her. I hope to be mates with her at some point and hang out like we used to ( not sexually) just hanging out and chatting but first I need to fully get over her and realize there is no more us.

 

 

That's great when that happens and am pleased for you. How long since you split up?

[flow15]

Thank you:D I do feel like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulder. I used to be very bitter towards her and even had some resentment but after she said actually showed some maturity and showed she has a nice side I forgave her. I hope to be mates with her at some point and hang out like we used to ( not sexually) just hanging out and chatting but first I need to fully get over her and realize there is no more us.

 

Hi Randy, just came across your thread. You're right, we are going through a similar thing!

I know what you mean, I too feel like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders...all this resentment that I've been feeling towards him has disappeared and it feels so nice. Although, thinking he was evil was what I was focusing on to help me forget him, and now he turns out to be a decent person I guess I am left a little confused.... But its nice to know I'm not the crazy one and he can see what he did wrong.

We'll see now how this helps with our healing...

[Randybrandt]

She dumped me a week and a half ago and concidentally she appologized a week later. Weirdness..... I have no idea why it took a week but whatever I guess. I still wonder if it was guilt eating at her or when I told her when she hurt me I hope Karma gets you and maybe she was so worried about Karma and bad things were happening so she appologized.Flow we will just have to sit back and see what happens as you say.

[NXS]

She dumped me a week and a half ago and concidentally she appologized a week later. Weirdness..... I have no idea why it took a week but whatever I guess. I still wonder if it was guilt eating at her or when I told her when she hurt me I hope Karma gets you and maybe she was so worried about Karma and bad things were happening so she appologized.Flow we will just have to sit back and see what happens as you say.

 

Something is off here, how does she go from being an "evil evil" person to apologising a week later. It just doesn't add up.

 

What's the background story?

[stunned8165]

Great. I'm sure it helps. Alot!........ I doubt if mine will ever do that. She's a complete coward. 7 months out. Had a little contact, but no apoligies. She wanted to talk like everything was cool. But I was just cordial if that. I chose to give her nothing in the brief conversation in the NC SHE broke. I would have listened if she tried though.

[Randybrandt]

Let me explain NXS

 

 

When my girlfriend met 6 months ago everything was simply magical. It was love at first sight as they would say. She was the kindest person and would send sweet texts and would visit me whenever she could since I went to college. The last two months of our relationship which was the 5 and half going on 6 months things changed she would become moody for whatever reason and she would never talk about anything. I knew something was off but I couldn't quite place my finger on it. One day I found out she was cheating on me through one of my mates who happened to be friends of friends with her new boyfriend. I was furious! She had been in a relationship with this man for a month so in that sense yes she was evil because she never told me she was seeing someone. I eventually confronted her about it and she said Randy are you bloody crazy? I told you a month ago I wanted to see other people which was a total lie and I knew it. She was also an evil person because she couldn't admit she was wrong and admit we never talked about seeing other people. I wasn't going to contact her after she pretty much dumped me for other person and couldn't admit her mistakes.

 

However like I said she contacted me a week and half later on skype saying she never meant to hurt me and she always wanted to tell me but she was scared and I avoided conflict and in the process ended up blaming you. She was evil for doing what she did and I was quite upset with her because she never told me she was seeing someone but after that appology I forgave her because it showed maybe she has a soul after all. I know it is confusing and I am quite confused myself how she went from being a callous person who didn't care about my feelings to turning over a new leaf and appologizing. I will never know what prompted her to appologize but I think it is quite admirable that she did it.

[NXS]

Let me explain NXS

 

 

When my girlfriend met 6 months ago everything was simply magical. It was love at first sight as they would say. She was the kindest person and would send sweet texts and would visit me whenever she could since I went to college. The last two months of our relationship which was the 5 and half going on 6 months things changed she would become moody for whatever reason and she would never talk about anything. I knew something was off but I couldn't quite place my finger on it. One day I found out she was cheating on me through one of my mates who happened to be friends of friends with her new boyfriend. I was furious! She had been in a relationship with this man for a month so in that sense yes she was evil because she never told me she was seeing someone. I eventually confronted her about it and she said Randy are you bloody crazy? I told you a month ago I wanted to see other people which was a total lie and I knew it. She was also an evil person because she couldn't admit she was wrong and admit we never talked about seeing other people. I wasn't going to contact her after she pretty much dumped me for other person and couldn't admit her mistakes.

 

However like I said she contacted me a week and half later on skype saying she never meant to hurt me and she always wanted to tell me but she was scared and I avoided conflict and in the process ended up blaming you. She was evil for doing what she did and I was quite upset with her because she never told me she was seeing someone but after that appology I forgave her because it showed maybe she has a soul after all. I know it is confusing and I am quite confused myself how she went from being a callous person who didn't care about my feelings to turning over a new leaf and appologizing. I will never know what prompted her to appologize but I think it is quite admirable that she did it.

 

I'd be very sceptical about this apology because people like that don't just change overnight. It sounds like she was gaslighting you and has very manipulative tendencies, like her lie about telling you about meeting other people.

 

Furthermore she cheated on you and is now saying she didn't tell you because you "avoid conflict"??? This is crazy-making justification.

[Randybrandt]

She was manipulative I understand that and quite frankly I never even expected an apology and while I did have my doubts on why she took a week to contact me and say sorry maybe she is sincere maybe she isn't but in any event at least she said she was sorry.