To those who are hurting now.

[fresh8]

I thought that I would just post because I want those who have just broken up with a significant other to know that the pain does heal over time. It's easy for me to say but back in March, I was hurting so bad because I lost someone who I loved deeply.

 

Now, I don't think about her and I have not talked to or seen her since March of this year. The memories are still there and I do smile when I think about all the good times we had but I guess those memories will be replaced by new ones when the next one shows up in my life. Today a friend of mine asked me what I did last New Year's Eve. I told her about how I took my ex away from the city to the beach and we stayed in a really nice house on the top of a hill. I was happy that it doesn't hurt me to think about it. It made me smile and realize that at least I got to love and I have a lot to offer to the next girl.

 

I didn't cope well from the start. I was drinking everyday non-stop for 2 months and was an ******* to a lot of people. I spent a lot of the last 6 months aimlessly chasing girls and really screwed up a few times including screwing over this girl who seemed interested in me by sleeping with her friend (I was not ready to date because I was not over my ex).

 

I always thought my ex was 'the one' and I would do anything for her. We dated secretly because her family didn't want me with her. My friends said that we looked very much in-love. It didn't work out and at first I felt like I would rather not be around anymore. It took me a while to get there but I did get there in the end.

 

This year has been crazy and I guess ever since the breakup, I had a lot of things happen to me that put everything in perspective. My sister ran away from home, my friend passed away. But on the positive side of things, I got my dream job and am doing very well in it. I also finished law school. Now I am in a better place because I've been hitting the gym, stopped drinking excessively, joined a second basketball team, hanging out more with the people who count. I am pretty much doing what I love to do and it feels great.

 

So how do you cope? By being with your family and friends and not being scared to ask for help but also by being a good friend to them. I am blessed that people have tolerated me for as long as they have and I owe everything to them. I've seen a darker side of me that I don't want and learnt about what my best qualities are.

 

How long does it take to get over him/her? For me, it was probably 6-8 months but it should have been less because I was in denial for the first 2-3 months and kept looking for girls. And after meeting these girls, I'd compare them to my ex and it really was not healthy!

 

I hope that my post sort of helps you. Just remember that we've all been where you have before and you won't be the last to deal with it.