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Sleep problems ruining our relationship.


dmachado12

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for about four years now. I can honestly say I love him. We moved out together and he sleep disorder has become an issue. I have known he was a sleep talker since we have met but, it has taken a different direction lately. He mumbles sexual comments about other woman in bed to me. One it wakes me up and it's difficult to fall asleep lying there thinking that the person I love is thinking about someone else. Secondly, he wakes up and has no recollection of doing so. We have had several interesting incidents happen that hurt me. I understand it's just a dream and it means nothing to what he actually thinks of me or I assume...he is working on his sleeep issues with a professional and that couldn't make me happier that he is getting help. But yesterday we had a different encounter and I am not sure what to make of the event but it really hurt me. He woke me up by cuddling me pretending I wa a different girl which he has done before and I shrug it off knowing its just a dream even though it is one of the worst feeling I have ever felt in my life. And I'd that wasn't enough he wakes me up to show me a text that him and one of his friend were having about writing how hot this girl was and suggesting sexual relations with her. I was clearly upset by the situation and went to sleep on the couch so in the morning he had no clue what was going on. It took me a while to be able to actually talk about it bc I was in complete shock and so hurt bc he had never really disrespected me like that before. I pretty much told him I couldn't be with him bc I was very offended and hurt to what had been done. He left to the gym and I went to work. We haven't really talked much about the situation. Advice?

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you sure he's sleeping and not just playing mind-games?

 

one of my exes did the same.....

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He claimed that's "the way guys talk" and it met nothing it was a joke that I wasnt supposed to have seen. He apologized for his actions sincerely. I am not tied up on his sleeping issue it is more the text conversation that is making me sick to my stomach thinkin about. :(

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yup.

all mind games.

I'd be prepared to bet a pound to a pinch of salt that he's yanking your chain.

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Yes he is sleeping he has an actual disorder.

Yes, that's what my ex claimed. And sure enough, he did. but the cr_ap he was giving me was a pretence. He hid behind his disorder to ph-uk with my mind.

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.....And I'd that wasn't enough he wakes me up to show me a text that him and one of his friend were having about writing how hot this girl was and suggesting sexual relations with her. ...

 

He claimed that's "the way guys talk" and it met nothing it was a joke that I wasnt supposed to have seen. ...

 

confirms it.

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I'm not discounting the sleep disorder, or its legitimacy.

I'm saying he's playing on it.

and if he's never behaved this way before, and suddenly he's coming with the so-called dreams about exes and showing you inappropriate texts - something stinks.

 

He's getting bored.

Where is this relationship going, after 4 years?

Is it stagnating?

What plans are you making together?

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Standard-Fare

Confused.

 

I get that he has a sleep disorder and mumbles/acts out stuff with other girls while he's sleeping.

 

But, the thing with the texts -- are you saying that he did all of that (showed you the texts he was sending with his friend) while he was "asleep"? If so, that seems very weird and improbable. I guess I don't know enough about sleep disorders, but I've only heard of that type of thing happening when someone is on a sleeping pill like Ambien and technically "awake" yet not aware of their actions.

 

And if he was awake while showing you those texts, obviously that's completely unacceptable!

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