SelfCentered Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Long story short: NC was going well...I was going well. Woke up this morning, saw her brother's FB post- she's back in our hometown. He's my best friend. Up to this point, there has been NO contact between them in our breakup. It's a complicated family. Basically, I hang out with him most of the time. What is more, they live right in town. I'm just worried I'll see her and be hit for six. For many of you coping, you probably saw the ex from day 1. For me, this will be my first time! Any advice guys on what to do in the event of a meetup? Do I take NC to the extreme and blank her? Be polite? Be angry? If I had known she was coming, I probably would have gone out of town for new years and stayed with a friend! Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 First I would talk to your friend and explain to him why you are removing them from facebook. After you do that you will not get these random items and a real friend wont have any issues whatsoever about being deleted while you heal. After that don't live your life scared. Enjoy your holiday and have a great time. How long have you been NC? If you see her then handle yourself in a mature manner. But you may not see her at all so don't let a possibility ruin your weekend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SelfCentered Posted December 28, 2011 Author Share Posted December 28, 2011 Nah I can't delete him. He was my best friend before we got together, and I always knew if we broke up I'd have to deal with hearing about her occasionally from him. He just put as his status "X and Y are watching movies". Up to this point he hasn't said one thing about her. He rarely sees her and never talks about her. He already knows I don't want to see or speak to her and he's been fine with that. Deleting him would serve no purpose. Seeing her name in his status wasn't what upset me. The idea of bumping into her in MY hometown, MY place of healing and solitude, is what shook me up this morning. NC has been little over a month. I'll just avoid his flat for a few days. Hopefully she won't come out for New Years either. Link to post Share on other sites
Renard99 Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 I work in the same building as my ex so I see her at least once a week so I have a bit of experience in this. Thankfully we're in different wings of the building but it's the entrance and canteen that I see her the most. My advice to you would be to plan what your level of interaction will be before you see her and stick to it no matter what. I've never been one to ignore someone and like to consider myself a polite person, so, right from the start I said to myself 'if I see her, I'll smile, nod, and only if neccessary, say hello and then keep on walking'. My stomach always tied itself in knots and I was all nervous to see her in the first few months but I always kept to my word. After a while, it got a little easier as it became more like routine and i got used to the 'script'. Today, one year on, it just feels like I'm acknowledging any other person in the building. Don't get me wrong, I still get a slight uneasy feeling which reminds me that I'm not fully healed but it is a massive improvement compared with this time last year. I think she's not so bothered by it either anymore (she dumped me) compared with how she was too. Link to post Share on other sites
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