GIZMO Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 Well if anyone has read any of my other posts you will know what kind of depression I went into.. But, to make a long story short I was with my ex for 7 years, we had a wedding date and all set.. Anyways, he cheated on me and started to date my co worker... So......... I left my other job and now I am a full time stripper.. But, I am not dirty at all, like how some girls are.. I just go to my job and make money and come home.. Anyways, I can not seem to find the time to meet a nice guy or anything.. Is there anything I can do to change that? I am a very nice person, I am cute, and I have a heart of gold.. I don't know what my problem is.. I know a lot of people look at strippers as Sluts, but, I am not like that. They way I see it is that if I am at the beach I get looked at the same anyways.. I am safer at the strip club then what I am at a normal bar.. Make sense? Anyways, can someone please help me with my fear of never finding my soul mate? I am getting very scared.. I am 27 years old and have no kid's or anything... I feel like I will never find anyone.. Anyways, any help you could give would be great.. Thank you, Gizmo Link to post Share on other sites
heartattacked Posted May 31, 2004 Share Posted May 31, 2004 The world is not safe! Let alone a strip bar! Soul mate? You may very well find him one day. The world is certainly full of suprises. The irony is that usually he or she will appear when you're not even dwelling on finding a soulmate. Of course, you really want to find that person when YOU WANT to find him. So, yeah, it's rarely easy when it comes to male/female relationships. I think you'll do fine. The world we live in usually allows for second, third, fourth, chances. None of us are even CLOSE to being perfect. You're still a youngster, you be alright. Link to post Share on other sites
health Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 This is one of my worst nightmares. sorry. I have a fear of my girl being a stripper, if we ever break up. It would hurt me, I know she wouldn't. Its cool that you don't do dirty stuff, but its a low energy environment......my friend said ...on a slow rainy day, most strippers would resort to prostitution..smalltime stuff but still........prove me wrong please! how have your stripping expeiriences been? Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Hi, I hate to break it to you but not a lot of men would like the idea that their girlfriend is a stripper. Their reasons may vary and they may be judgemental, but that is how they feel. On the other hand, some guys would LOVE the fact that their girlfriend is a stripper. However, I doubt these are the kind of guys you are looking for. You might have to face the fact that your job may come between you finding and keeping the kind of guy you want. good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 I don't see how you can justify your stripping by comparing it to harmless looking on a beach. It's not the same thing at all. These people are PAYING to see you take off your clothes and move in suggestive motions. You're selling your body to earn a living. A lot of people look at that as shameful and disrespectful to oneself. There are other stippers on this board, just ask them. Most strippers are addicted to drugs or alcohol and don't lead stable happy lives. It's a negative enviornment and you're not safe there. Suppose a crazy guy goes in there and you pay him the attention he wants and he decides to wait for you when you come out of the club? Guys get the crazy notion that strippers actually WANT them. They don't realize it's a show put on for them to get their money. Honey, you'd be safer on the beach. As for finding your soul mate, I wouldn't worry about that right now. Do you really want to strip for the rest of your life? Is this your chosen career path? Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 I believe that most people would not think that all strippers are sluts. But I think that the majority of guys would not be confortable at the idea of their girlfriend stripping in a club, even if they were positive she'd not have physical contact with anyone. Still, some men would not mind and respect you. Only, when you start to date someone, make sure he is interested in you *even if you are a stripper* ( meaning no matter what your job is ), and not *only because you are a stripper*. A guy who'd date you only *because* you are a stripper would risk causing you an heartbreak. It would be great if you met someone interesting who works/worked in the same environment as you. Like a male bartender, or a dancer like you. I suppose such a guy would not be jealous. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 There is an old saying about the kind of girl you don't bring home to mother. Strippers usually fall into that category. There may be some guys that still have complete respect for their stripper girlfriends/wives, but your choice of job severely limits the men who will take you as a serious life partner. You have an ideal man - you know what you are looking for. If not, then list them out. What characteristics, beliefs, values, morals, goals, and prejudices are you looking for in a man. List them and then rank them according to who you want him to prioritize these things. Include things that are set in stone (such as no drinking, or smoking, or drugs, or whatever is an absolute no-no to you). Do the same for your idea of the woman you want to be. What women do you respect? Why? Do you have the same qualities? Create your ideal woman profile. Now, imagine that guy and imagine what that guy would want in a woman. Can you adjust your own beliefs and actions--including your job-- to match that profile? Adjust your own morals/values/beliefs, etc. to be the woman you want to be and adjust the ideal man's profile and then, based on what type of profession you want him to be in, what type of social activities you want to be a part of, surround yourself with those things and those places. Join groups or associations where you might meet people with similar interests. You might meet married people, or women, or single guys that you don't connect with, but don't turn them away - they might provide the introduction that you want and you might make some great friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Confused123 Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 What was your job before? How did you get into stripping. I have to admit, I know alot of people out there don't see anything wrong with it and to a certain extent niether do I. However, I believe it kinda cheapins you as a person. If you are looking for the all around american guy who will love and care for you and want to have a family, the likeihood is he is not sitting a a strip club, paying women to take their clothes off. My only suggestion to you is find a new career. I was in your boat before, my last boyfriend i had for five years and we broke up about 4 months before the wedding. So, believe me I know the heartache, it is completely devasting... But, get your life together and being a stripper is not the right track.. You said something about rainy days and small sexually favors, jesus, that is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard. Get some respect for your body and get the hell out of there... No man is worth turning to stripping, be thankful oyu figured out what a slimeball he was before you married him, that is the way I see it. On lokking for a new man, it will happen, but first you need to get your own life in order and getting out of that degrading profession wuold be my suggestion as a first step.... Link to post Share on other sites
only1Honey Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 Hey there Gizmo I'm a stripper too. Because of the movies and other media, people assume that strippers are a bunch of drug addicts, alcoholics, and whores. A strip bar is safer because underneath all the games and the players, everyone realizes that a titty bar is a fantasy. Those who don't are neurotically messed up. A normal bar is where people go to get some booty. I have no children and my boyfriend has become an indifferent eunuch, ok maybe more like a brother or a roommate. I don't think there's any place in the world that you will always find your soulmate. Not everyone is fortunate to find their love or start a family I'll be 30 soon. Maybe someday it will happen to us. All I can say is do the things you like to do and you will find others that like the same stuff (common ground, get it?) Link to post Share on other sites
twalkoe Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 Gizmo, Point Blank: You're not putting yourself in the best enviornment to find a good guy. The straight facts are that most people just wouldn't get emotionally involved with a stripper or someone who frequents strip clubs. As a matter of fact it's on the "top ten list of no-no's". If this is something that you really feel you need to do for a job... like, it's your "calling' or something...then just get ready for some heart break. I think there is a small amount of people that may be in healthy happy relationships in your line of work, but it is definitely rare. Remember as you go through this journey, what you give is what you get. If you're telling men that you'll take your clothes off for money, it just plain screams that your values are off. Also...the line of work that you're in demands that you look a certain way, and honey, as cute as you may be looks fade after awhile. You're 27 years old...it's about time to find another line of work. I know that there is more to you than a pretty face and a nice bod! Link to post Share on other sites
Charley Posted June 30, 2004 Share Posted June 30, 2004 personally i would rather be with stripper, than a slut. At least with stripping you are getting paid whilst not even having sex with anyone, and sluts cheapen themseves way more by having sex with loads of people. In my opinion stripping is not dirty, and i am seriously considering taking a few pole dancing jobs in summer. However it is not the right environment to find a guy in, at least not one you deserve. So i guess you don't strip morning tll night... go places during the day or whenever, where nice guys hang out. Sorry this is all vague and stuff, im trying to revise for an exam at the same time btw, how is the money if u dont mind me asking? Link to post Share on other sites
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