Ex-Girlfriend has begun calling again

[spacjaaam]

Faux, I must say your exlemplary advice for Blah Toolz is right on, it seems pretty obvious that the patterns do seem to follow suit in this thread with opening communication leading to more pain if it's too soon. I think the only way to get over something that's already dead and gone is only letting in find its place in the past, unfortunately when you still care about someone these rules are terribly hard to follow or believe in until you have moved on, found something better, and realize you're glad you didn't agitate something that was better left alone. One thing that has caught my attention in reading this thread and many other posts on past relationships is that most of the ex's that are talked about are not nearly as distant as mine is right now.

 

For instance, Blah Toolz's ex- girlfriend and him have just recently had a month barrier of no contact, but otherwise calls still happened whether they were painful or just totally unrelated to the relationship. Also, many people seem to have computer and text message comm. with their ex's, or even work near them. The thing that drives me insane about my ex-girlfriend is the fact that she lives a state away from me now, but I go to school there (I'm 20, so's she now). By train I'm about an hour and a half away from her, an hour by car. The only connections we have are the fact that we are both in the same state for the school year, met at this school (she dropped out after freshman year) and she still knows my cell phone number (possibly my home phone too). We don't have too many mutual friends, but some and most of them are in my school. After she left me, she didn't call for a month and a half, and when she did, I couldn't believe it. I was wary of her contacting me (knew she was probably just calling for closure), but it was first time I had smiled out of happiness in over two months. Interestingly, her call didn't shatter me right away, I didn't really even know what she wanted, and I think she genuinely wanted to make sure I was okay (I still believe she's a good person) but her new boyfriend did come up (she was terribly brief talking about how they were, but they were good), so I didn't have to wonder any more about what she was doing, she had been with him the whole time.

 

When I got off the phone, I wasn't heartbroken, I felt like it might have even helped me a little. The thing is she told me she was going to call before April to let me know if she was going to a concert I mentioned, but something told me she was only saying this so she wasn't like "I satisfied my curiosity so...see ya!" As time went on, no call, this first call became worse and worse in my head, I thought of her using me as a comfort, I don't know, but basically I figured that was the end, and her phone wasn't working si I couldn't call her, nor did I want to be one to call at all. I knew that if she cared at all, she would initiate something even it was past when she said she would call, but nothing, and I still hung on to her. Being at the small school we had met at for six months didn't ease my pain. When she called at the end of May, I also couldn't believe it, but saw patterns I didn't want to see in her. She had gotten another phone number (at her parents house) and left a message at 11:00 at night, saying in a friendly voice she wanted to see what I was up to and that I could call that night if I wanted, gave me the number, and that was it. What had taken her so long! Was it hard for her to call me? (I think her boyfriend has a cell phone, so no), was she so busy with him or someone else that she forgot? Did she remember and just didn't care?

 

So she knows I should have gotten the message and number, and more thananything do I want to call her to talk, but do I really want to get strung up in her talking about her life, talking nicely and caringly to me, but then hanging up? Again? No, so I didn't call back. If she cares, she will call again. If she doesn't she won't. If she thinks this means I'm over her OR I that furiously hate her, she might leave it be forever, she might start calling back. About a month passes, and she calls. She calls at 1:00 AM once and doesn't leave a message. Damn it. Now I have the number to call her on my phone (I erased the old message) but I can't. She was probably drunk and reaching out, just feeling weak and calling me so she'll know I'm not over her. But maybe not. I DON'T KNOW!! So, this was about three weeks ago, and nothing since. I hate this, I really do, and only because I'm once again bending on what I want. I thought I would be the one to leave behind the good memories before her, because while she was moving on with her "friend" I was consumed with her and us.

 

So now is she thinking about these things? I find myself thinking how we were wrong, we knew it, and we could never work out now, it's probably the FURTHEST thing from her mind and always will be, but then I think of how wonderful she was and how although most of it was spent suffering over her relentlessly, (which she probably had no idea she was doing to me), I would like to catch up, share what has happened in the seven months we haven't really spoken. Jesus, I don't know if I should call her or if I should let her call me again, but I'm almost POSITIVE she either thinks I've moved on or just is waiting for me to call her as a friend, maybe she's just prideful, but I know she wasn't this prideful when we were together. Once again, it's made me crazy. The worst thing is that I'm starting school in a month and pray every night that I won't go thru the lonliness, anger and depression I did over her, my life, and other people apain, I don't think I could handle that. All I want is for her to call again and leave a message with something so I know, but it's so hard feeling like she'll never do this. I still wait for it though, and I still hurt. AAAAGGGHHH!!!!!! One forward, two back, you know? What should I do, it's easy to give advice to those in similair situations, but oh! The following of it yourself! Am I ****ing crazy for still caring over three calls? I don't know if I'll ever let her go. Help.

[james_1989]

hey miner,

i last talked to my ex prolly 2 months ago maybe i think maybe 1 1/2 month, im not quite sure. i remembered several days ago that i recall her saying if we ever broke up which we were cause we were supposed to be forever but that she would not call me even if she wanted to. im just hoping maybe when school starts back up that she will realize that she does miss me and put the anger behind her and just talk to me. i love her as a person and friend but no longer as a lover which is good because i dont think about her as much anymore. well blah toolz i know that that one dude say dont respond to her when she calls but what will that accomplish. not too much. if you wanna get back with her you gotta show her that you dont care bout her and just show her how much youve changed. good luck dude

[estakado]

So...she is outta my life, BUT THAT IS OKAY!!!!!

 

If anyone has been keeping up with Blah Toolz and My story then you can all relate...yup worst summer of my life, but guess what?

 

I stuck with the No Contact rule, kept up with improving myself and re-learning how to be independent....and it happend, I met someone, went on some dates and now it seems pretty steady.

 

I really dont think of my ex at all anymore and I am now 4 months+ removed and moving on.

 

Basically, just make a plan and stick with it, post here get feedback, BUT STICK WITH A PLAN! CHANGE YOUR SCHEDULE...dont do the same routine that you used to, if your current routine is killing you, then try and change it. Lean on your friends and family for support.

 

I havent seen my ex and I prolly never will, right now I am at the point where i dont care, but at least I will be strong enough to face her now and I am not afraid anymore.

 

mr_miner: Glad to see that you got some action, dont try too hard to "define" anything that you are going through now, just try and let things take there course to see...take each day as a new day to do stuff with her and/or just try and live.

 

james_1989: Everyday gets just a lil better right? Keep on keeping on.

 

nikkicam71: Hang in there, you know what you have to do.

[Blah Toolz]

Thanks for the reply, faux. What you said is the way to go about things. I was doing well... but I regressed when contact with her was initiated again. So I stopped the contact once more, and then I realized that she wasn't going to call me, and I wasn't going to call her. So this made me depressed for a little while. It made the memories all the more potent, it seemed.

 

This past weekend, something opened up my eyes however. Something made me realize that I'm being an idiot for crying over somebody that is acting as immature as she is. I'll go into more detail about this in another post, but I realize it's stupid to torture myself over something as stupid as what is going on. I have pride... and confidence, and I never allow myself to be anyone's punching bag.

 

And estakado, good to see you again, bro. Stick to the no contact, brotha, better days are coming for you, I know it. God ended one chapter of our lives... and now we're in the interim period waiting for the next one. One day... we'll find someone that will care for us more than we ever imagined the ex could. But we gotta keep living our lives for us right now, first and foremost.

[james_1989]

hey dudes,

cant wait to hear your story blah toolz. i couldnt sleep last night. i just layed awake thinking bout my ex and i just hope shes as happy as she is pretending. i want her to just call and ask for me back but then the hatred rises and i dont know if i could be with her after what shes done to me. she walked out on me when i needed her the most. i would never do that to her, i just dont understand.

[Blah Toolz]

Alright, here's what went down:

 

Now that I think about it, this may have been a bad idea, but I figured I hadn't seen or spoken to her in more than a month... and she said she would get my stuff back to me the last time I talked to her. So I stopped in to her work, expecting to see her there. She wasn't, and instead, I inadvertantly ran into the kid she's dating now. Haha, he was a little mousy ****... some Eminem wanna-be, but I don't care. That's besides the point, I didn't know it was him when I ran into him, so I just asked to see something real quick in the store and then left.

 

He must have called her right after that, because when I called her cell phone, I said "Hey, how's it going?" She replied with "What," in a very bitter tone. I just laughed and said, "Nice greeting." She said "Yah, whatever I don't mean to be rude, but why are you calling me? My boyfriend doesn't want you calling me." I laughed again. "I just think it would be cool if I could get that stuff back you said you would get to me a few months ago. We don't have to make it a big deal." She remained being incredibly hostile, and I just tried to maintain my cool. I told her just to leave the stuff on her front steps, and I'd swing by and pick it up when she wasn't there. She made it like such a big deal, like it was the biggest ordeal in her life. She also said "Yeah, so you went to [my place of work] huh?"

 

She thinks I went in there just to see who her new guy was. I had no idea who he was, nor do I care now. She said "Yeah, I know you're talking to Beth." Beth is... or was her best friend. I don't know if they talk anymore, and I don't talk to her anyways. I don't know what her deal is, or why she treats me like her number one enemy. I don't see why just because we are exes now, that she has to talk to me like I'm a bag of ****. I thought I could just get my stuff back, have a friendly normal conversation with her, whatever. I realized that if she is going to talk to me like this, why am I wasting tears over her? Why am I staying up at night thinking about someone that is immature like this?

 

I guess this story might not prove how funny and immature I thought the whole deal was... I guess you had to be there.

[estakado]

Hey Blah:

 

Sorry to hear about that, any new updates on your end?

[Blah Toolz]

Not too much... been dating around, met a girl that I really like.

 

Calls me everyday, wants to hang out everyday... it's just a little much right now. I really dig her, but don't know if I'm ready for that yet.

 

I think about the ex less now... but I keep having dreams with her in it, it seems. Almost like a cruel sense of irony, where it seems as if just when I am beggining to be able to look back and feel no pain, I'll have a dream where we reunite and I feel so happy. Or where there is a dream where she is leaving me again, and it leaves me feeling depressed when I wake up. Anyone else experience something like this?

[kodiak]

Blah Toolz-

 

Hey my brother i know exactly how you feel with those dreams about your ex. Or maybe we should say nightmares because they suck!!!! The hard part for me is that I always have dreams that I get back togther with my ex, never that she is leaving me again. You wake up in the middle of the night so happy for a brief second, then it all falls back to reality. Im glad to see that you met someone new and you dig her. Take it slow and just have fun with it. That might be a eye opener for your ex to let her see that she is indeed replacable. You know? Anyways keep it up and it seems that things are looking good for you. Take Care...Kodiak

[Blah Toolz]

Yeah... I guess I should call them nightmares -- because no matter if I am reuniting with her in the dream, and we are back to loving each other, there is still the sense of dejection I feel when I wake up and realize it was only a dream.

 

I don't think it's going to be an eye opener to her that she might lose me for good, since I haven't made contact with her in a while again. Last time I did, she acted like a little 4th grade bitch, so c'est la vie, I suppose.

 

I actually saw her mom the other day at a restaraunt/bar. It was a little depressing, because I was very close to her family. Her mom gave me a hug, said she missed me so much, missed having me around the house. Said her son missed me a lot as well. She noted how handsome I looked, that I could call her up and visit her anytime because she still considered me part of the family, etc. It was a little dejecting, because the ex's family was a big part of my life, and her mother was always so awesome to me. It sucks having that out of my life as well... tough to let go completely.

 

How's everyone else hanging... estakado, how about you bro?

[kodiak]

Blah toolz-

 

Hey brother i feel for you with the whole family loving you and crap. that makes a breakup that much worse. I was very very close to my ex's family and its tough. I felt so comfortable around them and they accepted me right away. I got a card from my ex's mom the other day and she said how much they miss seeing me and stuff. It brought tears to my eyes. However the good part of that is if there is ever a second chance for us with our exes hopefuuly the families will be to remind our exes how great we were. You know what I mean? Also man, dont think so negative. I knows it hard but the truth is you never know what the future holds. I wrote a post in the thread "Success Stories" about my friend. You should read it because its a hopefull story. Im very negative too but its getting me nowhere. So just try your best.

 

I never read why you and yoru ex broke up and the details so I was kinda curious. How long did you date for and was this the first breakup? Anyways if u wanna share it again i would like to read about it and maybe I can try to help out too. I kinda joined this forum late so its hard to catch-up. Take Care Boss....Kodiak

[Blah Toolz]

Yeah, haha, thanks man. I'm a pessimist when it comes to things like this. And you're right. Even though I don't think about getting back together with her anymore... it was better to have acted like a decent guy around her family, and have gained some respect that way. That way it's not like her mom is saying to her "I told you he was no good," like I've heard before from my parents.

 

Anyways, I was with her for a little more than 2 years. Here's my story in this link, thanks for showing some interest, really appreciate it. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t37652/

[estakado]

What up BT:

 

Sorry about the lateness....I've been pretty much on the go since Mid July. So the story is that yeah I got my new job, I got most of my issues on balance, still a little depressed missing my ex but I ran into this amazing girl at work and we did one date and we clicked sooo well. This chic is GREAT...so great that its kinda scary for me because little by little day by day I am falling deeper and deeper into her. She calls me in the middle of the day missing me, she cooks meals [breakfast, Dinner] and more importantly watches my paintball games, and is great conversation....dream come true right?

 

Well the nightmare is that my ex called me outta the blue last week all crying and telling me that she misses me and how much she loves me BUT SHE IS STILL WITH THE OTHER GUY. It really sux, she claims that I am the only one who really knows her, which is true. I told her about my new girl and she says that I deserve to be happy. Also she wants to hang out and spend time with me...BUT SHE ONLY CALLS WHEN HER MAN IS OUTTA TOWN.

 

The thing is that, I miss my ex, I dont think that I love her as much as I used too, but I miss alot of the things about her that complete me. I still cannot believe that she is soo weak that she wont do anything to change her situation...she wants her cake and eat it too. Our conversations feel like old times....but its never really the same. The fact that she played me keeps me on point.

 

Anyways I've told my new girl about this and amazinly enough she TOTALLY understands, she said that stuff like this takes time to get over and that if there is anything that she can do to help she would do it for me unconditionally.

 

So from the outside looking in, I have a winner here but my heart is slow to make changes. My ex still says that she worrys about me from time to time and sometimes her words like that get to me.

 

I feel like my whole life is one big cosmic joke, like "heres 2 people that love each other, lets throw some hardship on them and see what happends" type deal. I know my ex loves me and misses me, her eyes dont lie [ I can read her face when she lies] and her tears are real, I just wish that she would do something about it while I am still around, because now that I am getting into this new girl, I feel that everyday that I am farther and farther away from what I was to her and that one day my feelings for my ex wont be the same, she will be gone like the rest.

 

BT I hope the rest of August is a blessing for ya brother! Worst summer is almost over!

[dreamguy]

estakado,

 

Well the nightmare is that my ex called me outta the blue last week all crying and telling me that she misses me and how much she loves me BUT SHE IS STILL WITH THE OTHER GUY. It really sux.

The thing is that, I miss my ex, I dont think that I love her as much as I used too, but I miss alot of the things about her that complete me. I still cannot believe that she is soo weak that she wont do anything to change her situation...

I just wish that she would do something about it while I am still around, because now that I am getting into this new girl, I feel that everyday that I am farther and farther away from what I was to her and that one day my feelings for my ex wont be the same, she will be gone like the rest

I would say the exact same thing about my ex. I wouldn't even change a word in the paragraph above.

She calls and makes so many confessions but she is still with the other guy !

 

Anyways I've told my new girl about this and amazingly enough she TOTALLY understands, she said that stuff like this takes time to get over and that if there is anything that she can do to help she would do it for me unconditionally.

I wouldn't do that if I were you. You don't want this new girl to start feeling insecure about her relationship with you. Keep her out of this and don't let her know anything about what's happening with your ex. Trust me on this.

On the other hand, it's ok to tell your ex about the new girl you're dating but don't go into details. Just let her know you're seeing someone new. Let her make up the rest in her own imagination.

[Blah Toolz]

Yah, been keeping busy here on this end as well, estakado. Good to hear from you again though, as well as you dreamguy. The thing is, even though she is still with the other guy... in both of your cases, you must feel at least a certain sense of satisfaction knowing that she has called you up and has admitted how much she misses you.

 

I haven't received anything like that. Instead, the last time I talked to her... she makes it a point to say that her "boyfriend doesn't want me talking to her," and speaks to me in such a bitter tone that I feel like I'm a criminal. She did call me three times the next day... and I didn't answer. But it was only to tell me that she had left the stuff I had asked for on her porch for me to pick up.

 

Dreamguy is right, though... this new girl you have is very understanding to hear out the scenario with your ex. But no good can come from you bringing it up... she deserves to be someone you like, not your therapist. It would also be a nice sign of respect to her if you stopped bringing up the ex.

 

Anyways, you're right, the summer is almost over... wow, it really was pretty ****ty.

[james_1989]

hey everybody,

well i got back from vacation and i met and abouslute dreamboat. shes terrific. everything i would ever want in a girl. but then i think about my ex and still get a little down. i just dont understand how i can feel like this. i have somethin fantastic with my new chick but yet in the back of my mind my ex will always be there lingering. my ex called for the first time in about 3 1/2 months and recongnized her voice the second i heard it and and my stomach just dropped. overall she wanted to get back together and i said i didnt think it would be a good idea and she just lost it and started crying. i felt really bad i know she needs me there for i just cant do it. school is about to and i will see her for my first my time in 4 months. haha i cant belive you guys have the dreams too. i always dream that we get back together and i wake up and realize were not together. well gotta go

[Blah Toolz]

Haha, well good to hear that james. I'm glad you met a girl you like... that seems to be a common theme that we are experiencing here, along with the dreams of the exes. I seem to become depressed the most right before I am about to go to sleep... there is usually something that will always remind me of her on TV or a movie, and it is those lingering thoughts that are most likely the cause of her "plaguing" my dreams.

 

It's good to hear that these girls are calling you guys up all upset, saying that they made a mistake and that they want you back. It has to be satisfying in some way, doesn't it? It may be difficult yourself to resist the temptation to reconcile with them... but it must make you feel less worthless. It's funny, but that's how I feel sometimes, even though everyone says I have a lot going for me. It might just be the broken dreams, or the feeling that I have been betrayed so deeply by someone I spent everyday with... but the fact that she doesn't talk to me now, or hasn't show any signs of missing me after those first few months apart, that's what hurts the most.

 

Sometimes, I hate myself for feeling so depressed, and feeling pain when I look back at what happened. I am sick of thinking that I am a failure because it didn't work with her... and she is with someone new. It has been great to date around, meet new people... but the thought of her always lingers.

 

Oh well, despite what I am posting here tonight... I am getting better. I hadn't really thought of her that much until I ran into her mother at the restaurant the other night. I'm also going to be certified as a personal trainer soon, so that should be an added bonus as I transfer back to a campus soon. I'm still matching my personal bests in the gym as well... going to incorporate a new routine once the fall hits to bulk up even more. I'm at about 6% bodyfat now, so I'm going to try and gain about 10 lbs of lean muscle over the fall... and try to hit close to my goal of a 400 pound bench sometime around the winter.

 

Alright, gotta bounce.... night everyone. Keep posting.

[james_1989]

hey,

so blah toolz your ex found a new dude? how do you feel about that? my ex got a new bf and all and i heard its mostly one sided and all and that they might break up and all so for awhile i had some positive thoughts about getting back with her. she called and begged for me back but yet she is still with her boyfriend. i talked around about this and everyone thinks shes so insecure about herself that wants her new bf there just incase we dont work out. it really has been great meeting new people and dating around. but advice to everyone here, if you ever hear that your ex and her new bf are doing so great and the perfect relationship and all never belive you because you didnt hear it from her

[spacejim]

What's up all. I haven't been keeping up in the forum for a while, but I have read up on the last couple of posts and must say I'm happy for you guys who are seeming to get better and especially those who are meeting wonderful new people. I think it's well deserved after the hardships you have had to live through over one person, and Im sure it has to help at least to not obsess over the ex (especially if they're holding on to boyfriends while pleading over the phone about missing you). Not much has changed with my situation, I still haven't talked to her in four or five months (yeah, that's right) and she hasn't called in about a month and a half, which is at least somewhat due to me not responding for so long. I'm pretty sure she either just wanted to make a friendly gesture (even though she destroyed me, it's so hard to not see what a wonderful person she is) or was curious but assumes I'm over her. Doubt she really even cares anymore. The thing is I'm returning to school in about two weeks and have been seriously thinking that calling her sometime after I get settled there might be helpful, and she might appreciate it. However, what's killing me is that, although I haven't cut myself off from girls completely in the past eight months, I haven't been intimate with any, haven't been out on one date, this being due to my fear of hurting a rebound girlfriend, self consciousness, and instability. I also realy haven't had a steady job at all this summer, nothing terribly exciting happened, and while I did move on in many ways, not a day went by when I didn't think of her and hurt over her again. I feel like there is no way I could hide in my voice all of the hurt and confusion from these past months, or the anger and hurt that might also come out (even if she's terribly nice and interested sounding). I'm not a liar, and I'm afraid of having nothing to say or saying something terribly embarrassing, of her thinking I couldn't move on in so long and destroying any self confindence I've gained from her not really knowing what I'm doing. Am I making any sense, because I truly don't know if I am. I feel like I should let her go and live in wonder, but I know I really can't and if I'm going to call her (I know this sounds silly) I feel like I need her to at least think I've had SOMETHING with someone else in this time, from me not calling her she probably expected I did and I would be giving her control in my mind once again from telling her when she asks (and if I call her she'll ask). Basically, I'm not sure if I'll ever be strong enough to get off the phone with her after letting all that mystery slip out of her mind, but it's killing me. I also don't want to f**k myself emotionally again while beginning school. Ifeel like the only way I could ever talk to her without it hurting me would be to have someone else, but I don't see it happenning soon, and I would never do that to someone.

[atlous]

So this thread was amazing to hear that you guys still think of your exs. What is you were the ones dumping would you feel this way. I have been NC for 12 days. The last time we spoke I told him that I was pregnant and lost the baby exactly 13 days ago. I never asked him to take me back I was really scared with what was happening and I just wanted him to a care. He never even asked how I was? He is cold. He was the one that slept at a another girls house and then told me that nothing happened I refused to believe this and asked for some time. He freaked out on me for asking for time and told me that nothing happened and that I was a fool for doing this. I was hurt and angry. He is still angry about me getting mad at him. He thinks that he has done nothing wrong. Will he ever realize that I am only human and that If you care about someone you do not go and sleep at other girls houses. He tells me that I am the one that broke up with him. I just asked for some respect. He has not called or nothing. we went out for 2.5 years and just got back from a dream vacation in Mexico. His friends do not like me and tell him that he can do way better and that if I want to act this way than he would be better off wthout me? Do they realize that he cheated on me a year ago do they realize that he slept at some grils house. Do they realize that I will not put up with that ****! They do not know me. We had a soulfull relationship and we were also the best of friends. Will he ever feel guilty for hurting me. I felt so alone with doctors from hell looking me up and down " where is the father" how embarrassing! I wish he would regret doing these things and apologize so I know he still has a heart. Aren't people cold and defensive when they know they have done something wrong. Maybe he did cheat at that girls house and he is trying to turn it all around on me. I was very good to him and I am a good chick faithfull and succcessful you know. I want that satisfaction of getting my dignity back. I wrote him a letter 3 weeks ago taking full responsibility in what I contributed to the break up and asked that if he still loved me than I would be willing to work it out. He never responded. I think there is something he is hiding. I have not phoned him in 13 days and will nev er phone him again. How can he switch his feelings off like a light switch. I thought and still believ that he is my soulmate but I think its not that he didn't care when he slept at her house I think he is really stupid and to this day thinks that there was nothing wrong with that? Moron If he would get the hint than our relationship probably would not have ended so bad! Help having a bad day. Are the dumpers really that far from the way we feel. Will they feel bad for the way they treated us?

[Blah Toolz]

Originally posted by james_1989

hey,

so blah toolz your ex found a new dude? how do you feel about that? my ex got a new bf and all and i heard its mostly one sided and all and that they might break up and all so for awhile i had some positive thoughts about getting back with her. she called and begged for me back but yet she is still with her boyfriend. i talked around about this and everyone thinks shes so insecure about herself that wants her new bf there just incase we dont work out. it really has been great meeting new people and dating around. but advice to everyone here, if you ever hear that your ex and her new bf are doing so great and the perfect relationship and all never belive you because you didnt hear it from her

 

Heh, how exactly do you think it makes me feel, bro?

 

It's very ****ing painful, and it almost doesn't seem fair that she's got some dude who she has supposedly found happiness with... while I am left thinking about her even if I'm with someone else that clicks with me. Why should the one who didn't even dump me to my face after 2 years be the one who should find happiness?

 

I remember posting a while back... my ex's best friend said that she had to go over my ex's house one time because she was "bawling her eyes out," over something this new kid did. That was when I decided that I didn't want to know anything more. The ex's best friend also says that she doesn't like this new guy, and that I'm much cooler and better looking in her opinion... but why the **** should I worry about this new guy she has? I can't worry myself over that ****, because it will only lead to me doing something stupid.

 

Yeah, anyways... it's good you guys have got your exes calling you up crying and telling you how much they miss you. Like I said... it's revenge in some way, shape, or form. I'm still waiting for a form of resolution, so I'll let you know. Maybe not talking to her ever again is the way to go... I hope I don't run into her at school, which I probably might not... now that I've taken all the electives I think I need.

[Blah Toolz]

Saw an away message yesterday on the ex's friend's screen name. It said that she, her boyfriend, the ex, and her new boyfriend, were all going to some thing that I remember she and I went to. I don't know why I still think about her after all this time. I don't know, maybe it's because I still feel so betrayed... or because I still want to believe that she does indeed miss me, and will be calling me anyday now to tell me that she made a mistake in breaking up.

 

That's not going to happen though. I remember that when we were supposed to go to this event one time, I was late. I felt bad, and I got chewed out like she was my mother. I can just see myself replaced now... I imagine this new guy of hers made it on time, even though he is a little mousy looking mofo, and she is happier with him. Just gives me a sinking feeling in my stomach.

 

Like I said... I don't know why this is so hard for me to get over. I still want her back... but why? Because I think she's beautiful, and I loved her. When I was with her, I felt like nothing could go wrong. But things did go wrong... and now she is with someone else. Now I guess you guys know what I mean when I say I feel like a failure.

[djones]

Hey Blah Toolz,

 

I know how you feel I am feeling just the same way you said:

 

Like I said... I don't know why this is so hard for me to get over. I still want her back... but why? Because I think she's beautiful, and I loved her. When I was with her, I felt like nothing could go wrong. But things did go wrong... and now she is with someone else. Now I guess you guys know what I mean when I say I feel like a failure.

 

I feel like a failure, but then what did we do wrong that makes us a failure, we did not dump the other person they dumped us for what ever reason...maybe people now adays do not want to try to fix a problem in a realtionship (some are very minor and some are lost causes ie abusive, etc) its easier for them to just run...I just wish it was not so hard to get over a heartbreak...why do we feel for that person that has moved on, you are telling me that the realtionship did not mean anything to that person?.....I am still trying to figure out this too....

[james_1989]

hey guys,

i saw my ex for the first time in four months today. i was so terrified. my friends said she tried to talk to me but i dont remember it, said she called me by name and everything. its so weird i guess i was just trying so hard not to talk to her that i wasnt paying attention to anything going on around me. well she looked the abouslute same but she was staring at me a lot. i hate this so much. i know im my heart im past her and that i can move because ive made so much progress but then i saw her today and im so confused. her and my mom hit it off and were talking and smiling and ****. this cant happen to me, this just cant. i cant go back to her, after all she did theres no way i can ever feel the same way. so why am i feeling like this...

[stellab]

Reading all these posts has helped. My ex boyfriend, who has destroyed me twice in two years (I won't bother you all with the gory details), has just text messaged me. I have been doing a lot of work on myself over the past two months that we've broken up (for the final time, in my eyes) and I don't want to blow it now. Yes I was feeling like i'm on the fence, that I was glad he was thinking of me but petrified to feel like hell all over again to even see his words. We were together for two years and he cheated the entire time, and I don't want to take the chance to ever get hurt by this man again. I suffered too much and hurt for so long. I finally feel like I am reaching the wonderful person I used to be before I met him, and it's like he has a sixth sense and knows this, and doesn't want to completely let me go.

 

My question is...what do I do? Not responding is like waving a red flag in front of a bull - it makes him more persistent. I really feel like texting "***K OFF" but I'm just not that type. I feel like yes, I loved him once, and I don't talk to people I love or loved like that. I just want him to know that he cannot be in my life anymore, even though I told him this the last time we spoke (over two months ago). It doesn't sink in his head.