Mcnulty Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 2011: January, major cancer scare, operation, July, got the all clear. My main identity as a father has lessened due to the natural growth and independence of my only son. October. Girlfriend of 8 and a half years stops contacting me...2 weeks later my mum rings and tells me she has changed her Facebook profile to "in a relationship"...with my friend!! She didn't tell me, didn't end it with me. I went NC due to shock and disbelief I think. Then betrayal and hurt kicked in, then anger. My closest family members..mum, 2 sisters said they would remain friends with my ex...oh and never bothered contacting me for the first 4 days after I found out about her and my friend...I had to contact them...they didn't care and i've lost any closeness I had with them now. December, my birthday and christmas...no contact from her on either...don't know what I was thinking, hoping this cheating lying hypocritical coward would contact me...why would I wnat tha??? I don't know...ask my heart. Major health problems with the fall out of the operation were the worst for me through December and are still here now. My dear friend is dying in hospital That was my 2011...I've got depression as well now...wonder why....BUT life will do this to us..IF we let it....**** it....I'm damned if i'm going to take it lying down...I think it's called a test of character. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted December 29, 2011 Share Posted December 29, 2011 just simply HUGS. pray. seriously. ask for knowledge and give thinks for all that remains. i hope you have a better year and life ahead Link to post Share on other sites
SelfCentered Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Very inspirational, and it puts a lot of my problems into perspective. If I were a praying man I'd keep you in my thoughts! As it is, I'll simply say "good luck mate!" I truly wish you a better 2012. Link to post Share on other sites
Almond_Joy Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 2011: That was my 2011...I've got depression as well now...wonder why....BUT life will do this to us..IF we let it....**** it....I'm damned if i'm going to take it lying down...I think it's called a test of character. **thumbs up** That fighting spirit will take you far - stick with it! I'm not a prayer either, but best wishes for you in the new year . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mcnulty Posted December 30, 2011 Author Share Posted December 30, 2011 Thank you guys, that made me smile. Not really religious, but have started praying. The only thing that is keeping me going is my son...I have him and he's my everything. I wish you a happy 2012. ) Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I can honestly agree that 2011 has been a bad year not just for myself but for many I know. I'll be definitely glad to see the back of it. I'm sure things have to look up for you in 2012 Mcnulty. I mean, right now you're at the bottom so the only way is up. It may not happen over night but it will happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mcnulty Posted December 30, 2011 Author Share Posted December 30, 2011 Thanks Smudge. I actually wrote that down yesterday, that I'm on tyhe bottom and the only way is up. People will mistreat me in the future, BUT I won't do the same back. I'm going to try to be a better person and find my happiness from within...it seems the only way forward for me. Link to post Share on other sites
BigDumbFoot Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 I'm sorry about all the crap that life has thrown you recently, but you seem to have a pretty positive attitude about it, even if you feel down once in a while. I couldn't even imagine having to face something like a cancer scare, let alone bouncing back from it like you seem to have. Sucks that the people you love aren't supporting you the way you clearly deserve to be. Keep up the good fight man. P.S. When I first saw the title of the thread all I could think was "Worst year ever." But reading your stuff has sort of inspired me to look forward to the future instead of dwelling on how ****ty 2011 was. Link to post Share on other sites
BigDumbFoot Posted December 30, 2011 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Also, I was really disappointed when I didn't receive any contact from the ex for the holidays. But do we really want to hear from the people who were so able to just up and leave without any real rhyme or reason? I know that it's easy to say "**** her" for what she did to me, but I still long to hear from her just to know that I'm in her thoughts in some capacity.. It's better not hearing from them, we don't want to reopen old wounds that can only be healed through time and distance. Link to post Share on other sites
SelfCentered Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 Also, I was really disappointed when I didn't receive any contact from the ex for the holidays. But do we really want to hear from the people who were so able to just up and leave without any real rhyme or reason? I know that it's easy to say "**** her" for what she did to me, but I still long to hear from her just to know that I'm in her thoughts in some capacity.. It's better not hearing from them, we don't want to reopen old wounds that can only be healed through time and distance. I was the same. Plus in December I had my birthday and her birthday- no contact. She also has come back to our hometown for a few days. It hurts knowing she's so close... But as soon as she leaves, I know I'll be right back on to getting on with things. I'm actually so excited for 2012! There's so much I want to do! I want to say in a years time "Jesus Christ, what a ride!" And yes, I am also of the opinion of "**** her. She was just another chapter, another song I loved then hated. She's overrated!" Link to post Share on other sites
Soxfaninfl Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 P.S. When I first saw the title of the thread all I could think was "Worst year ever." I second that! My wife left me for another man, got divorced, spent 7K on a lawyer to get a fair deal, lost my house, had to pay 2,500 to get rid of my house(short sale), got genital herpes from a girl I dated while separated, and my credit score is in the toilet now. Things have to get better in 2012. Link to post Share on other sites
LostJustLost Posted December 31, 2011 Share Posted December 31, 2011 OP.. I really hope the new year brings you the best, that you find health, strength and your resolve to not let all that 2011 brought kick you in the teeth holds tough and true. P.S. When I first saw the title of the thread all I could think was "Worst year ever." But reading your stuff has sort of inspired me to look forward to the future instead of dwelling on how ****ty 2011 was. My exact thoughts btw. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mcnulty Posted January 4, 2012 Author Share Posted January 4, 2012 If you haven't got hope, you've got nothing. New Years day, I look out ogf my window and her car is driving slowly past my window...I stand there dumbfounded, heart racing, she slows, looks up at my apartment and pulls in a little way down the street...oh my god, what do i do??? Then i realize she is visiting her aunt further down the street as it's her birthday, she takes ages to get out of the car....I could have went down, stood at her car, spoke to her...I stayed in mt apartment, hour later her car's gone. I'm not writing this to say, hope, was she wanting to spot me, talk, nope i don't think so....but i had a cance in my irrational moments when she sat in the car....self preservation kicked in, I must protect myself, we all must do this. Oh, haven't cried at all this year., my team's won both matches they've played and a nurse is very interested in me......I am not ready though ( ....looking up! Link to post Share on other sites
Exit Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Wow. As other's have said, you're an inspiration to those of us who think WE have it rough right now. I cannot even comprehend how it would feel for a relationship to end after that long. I can sympathize with you about how nobody else even reached out to contact you when it first happened. I haven't had support from anybody either. Mutual friends know how much she hurt me yet they have sided with her and nobody talks to me. Good job resisting on New Years! I didn't have to experience seeing my ex drive past my house, but I was definitely more tempted to contact her than usual on the holiday, but I was able to resist too. You did the right thing. I hope you realize how strong you are. I'd compare it to being in the gym struggling to lift 100lbs and looking across the room and seeing some guy throwing around 1500lbs. You're dealing with a lot more than most of us and it would be so easy for you to give in and just feel bad for yourself, but you're not. You're right that it's a test of character and you're proving that you can handle a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 2011... man, I'm so glad it's gone. I've had good things and bad things happen to me too, McNulty. I used to think the new year is the closest we ever get to having a reset button for life, but after one heck of a 2011, I learned that everyday is a chance to start change. Not just "Oh, I'm going to start something" and then totally blow it off after I get my dose of feel-good vibes, but the painful, gritty, hard, earnest "I don't want to do this anymore even if I have to!" change. I also feel like I lost friends too. One tried to contact, but never made another attempt. Another sent me a generic happy holidays/happy new year text message. I haven't decided if it's sincere staying in touch or false sincerity, considering that her actions indicated that my ex was her "priority friend" and not me. Once I stopped updating them, then she got curious. Mmm... nope, I still won't talk to them. I don't have a clear head yet and I don't like speaking in anger and with hurt. Nothing like life experiences to put things in perspective, right? Happy new year and I wish you improved health. Link to post Share on other sites
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