SelfCentered Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 So, I just thought I'd share this with you all as a minor "win". My ex is back in our hometown for around a week visiting her bro (my best friend) and her mum. NC was going fine. I was healing...getting there. But when I found out yesterday she was back I was- understandably I think- hit for six. Tonight, I went out with said friend to another friend's house for some beers and Xbox. Chilled out night. Normal and okay. I got picked up and offered my buddy a ride back to his. Of course, when we dropped him off I saw his living room light on and knew she was just over there. Geographically, I haven't been so close to her since the BU. It really upset me. I got home- keep in mind I'm a bit tipsy as I type this- and was ready to text her something. "You're back...still miss you, wish I could've seen you". Something like that. But then, I heard a few songs that talk about "moving on" and junk. See I have this emergency playlist I listen to when I'm in the breakup blues. A lot of the songs I put on for this sort of situation when I know I need a lift and I'm not thinking straight. As cliché and cheesy as it sounds, they've calmed me down and I'm not going to text her. Keep up the NC. I may text another friend of mine about how I was/am feeling, just so I've let some of it pour out to someone who knows me. But I won't, I WON'T, text her! I feel by telling you LSers in a public forum, I have to honour my promise! Hopefully when I come on here in the morning I'll have succeeded. Scratch that, I know I will. Thanks for taking the time to just read this rambling. This forum is really helping me cope.
Philosoraptor Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Glad you went to your backup when in crisis. I had my own backup as well that helped me early on when I needed it. Stick to NC and keep working on yourself. Very proud of you for being strong
EyeAlone Posted December 31, 2011 Posted December 31, 2011 Good job! It's always helpful to have a safety plan I've had times where I felt weak but I journaled what I would have said to him. Look forward to hearing about your success
Author SelfCentered Posted January 3, 2012 Author Posted January 3, 2012 Thanks guys! I wanted to come back on and report but obviously LS was down/slow. I didn't text her or anyone else for that matter. I did (and this is a bit of a set back) look on her profile despite deleting her. Just so easy to get onto it when she's on your best buddys page. I think I've said this before: I didn't like what I saw. I don't like what she's done with her appearance, but aside from that I saw nothing to tug at my heart strings. But at least I didn't break down when I was drunk. NYE was a great night and passed without any incident. I did think about her at one moment but it passed. I really should update my coping log! It's so therapeutic!
BigDumbFoot Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 Proud of you for not breaking no contact. I'm proud of myself too. I actually got drunk on NYE and didn't break down and text her like I did the last time. It just ends up being pathetic and then the next day you feel nothing but regret. Usually whenever I would drunk text my ex it was something wallowy and sad, to try and get her to feel sorry for me. I feel like I've gained too much dignity to play that game. Cheers
Author SelfCentered Posted January 4, 2012 Author Posted January 4, 2012 feel like I've gained too much dignity to play that game. Very good sentiment my friend! There's a GnR lyric which I've been referring a lot: I ain't playin' childhood games no more, I said it's time for me to even the score But yes, it's great you got through NYE! December was always going to be a bitch and here we are, surviving into January with NC intact! Thanks guys.
olivec Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 Very good sentiment my friend! There's a GnR lyric which I've been referring a lot: I ain't playin' childhood games no more, I said it's time for me to even the score But yes, it's great you got through NYE! December was always going to be a bitch and here we are, surviving into January with NC intact! Thanks guys. Good job man for sticking with NC. Just think of it this way, its a new year and you go thourgh all that drama of 2011 and your moving onto to bigger and better things in 2012. This was the first time in along time that I could not wait for a new year to begin because like you I went through a tough breakup in 2011. However I feel stronger than ever now and learned alot about myself and soo looking forward to the future. Hope you have a awesome 2012 and beyond!
Author SelfCentered Posted January 4, 2012 Author Posted January 4, 2012 Good job man for sticking with NC. Just think of it this way, its a new year and you go thourgh all that drama of 2011 and your moving onto to bigger and better things in 2012. This was the first time in along time that I could not wait for a new year to begin because like you I went through a tough breakup in 2011. However I feel stronger than ever now and learned alot about myself and soo looking forward to the future. Hope you have a awesome 2012 and beyond! Cheers dude! I know what you mean; I was so ready for 2012. Not to sound too clichéd because everybody has this "can do" attitude when the 1st January approaches, but I'm really going to turn my life around now. Without her I have more time to devote to me, I can spend the money I work my ass off for on me. I'm going to travel, move out of here, do everything I keep wanting to do. I am posting on these boards at the end of the year with an update of my success, just to give others hope that you can turn your back on them and better everything in your life. Good luck to you too man!
Recommended Posts