Nice girl trapped in sexy image having LTR troubles

[BlueHeavens]

My friend has a dilemma she asked me to post about:

 

"My ex boyfriend told me that the reason I have problems having a real relationship with men is because my whole being is too sexy. It isn't like I dress or act provacatively but rather I just "am" sort of like Sophia Loren or Rachel Welch. That men only see me as a sexual being but not a mother or wife. I doubt there is anything to do about it. I have worn shirts that revealed nothing and have been not myself...and still get the same reaction as if I was wearing a hoochie mama outfit licking my lips...not that licking my lips is what I sit around and do on a date...in fact I have become more and more distant to my suitors because of my fears"

 

She is a very pretty girl, amply endowed in the chestal region. She is smart and independent, and dresses in a pretty, feminine, but not overtly sexy way. It appears that she is viewed as a good "casual" date but not a LTR prospect. This guy (whom I've never met) seems to be dead serious when he says this...does anyone out there have an opinion?

[average guy]

I have known absolutely drop-dead gorgeous women with perfect naked bodies able to disguise their looks very effectively by dressing modestly - truly hiding their beauty for practical reasons, so I find it very hard to beleive that your friend can't do the same. Maybe she is just afraid to try very hard?

 

Anyway, if she can't hide her amazing looks, she may just have to go through life having her pick of any man she wants until the perfect one comes along who treats her like a whole human being. I'm sure there are worse fates in life

 

Wish her the best of luck

 

A.G.

[CurlyIam]

Tell her she is one lucky lady! Very lucky lady! And not because of the sexy body image or looks!

 

I know what she is talking about, it's an attitude, a way of holding herself. You cannot hide it under clothes in a million years. Hasn't got too much in common with short skirts and sexy tops! Men smell attitude off of women all the time! Drives them crazy, I s'ppose!

 

I think it is wrong to deny that. It is a gift, it is part of her charm. I believe that should she accept it, she'd be happier wih herself. Obviously she can't change this anyway :)

 

But: attitude toward men can be changed. There are a million ways of saying "hello" to a man, or talking or ... it is hard, especially if she is a bit more of an extroverted type of person. If a woman wants to show her an unapprochable air, she can! I mean in the first phase, men may still think she's a "hottie", but after a nice converstion they always understand!

 

Remember that one person's image has much more to do with her action than with her looks! Looks are important, but you'd be amased at how that fades away after knowing a person!

 

She is lucky! The man wanting a relationship with her will see her despite her looks. He'll be looking at her, not her body! That's more than most women can tell about their bf, trust me! If she shows she is trustworthy (men are insecure about having relationships with very attractive women for fear of being left or cheated), he'll have to show he's man enough to keep her near him!

 

Why on Earth be ashamed of who you are, even if you may be more of a challenge than other women? It makes it even more entertaining!!!

[bart]

My ex was like that. Tall, pretty and amazing figurebart. She dressed modestly (wouldn't even buy low-cut blouses) but very fashionably. She was just naturally charming and expressive, and she had a way of rolling her eyes that just made my heart go bonkers. I certainly saw her as wife and mother material, until she took a shotgun to my heart. So I guess now I belong to the other camp. Not to say your friend is not the wife/mother type, just that experiences have taught most guys to expect otherwise.