MsLandon Posted June 1, 2004 Share Posted June 1, 2004 Hey guys. What are your thoughts on communication about feelings when dating. This has been a difficult area for me in the past and on several occasions I've been stopped cold in my tracks when conversation let to my feelings for the other person. For instance, during the third date I wrote about, At one point I had to stop kissing the guy because it was so intense. I said, "This is very intense. Plus I've never been into kissing before." To which he replied, "Never? You are very good at it. But if you've never been in to it before don't you think that it's so intense for us because we have some feelings going on here?" And I just shut down. I think I was able to mumble something like, "this is very overwhelming." DUHHHH! What an idiot. So what are your thoughts on communication in romantic relationships. Communicating with him when we were friends was no problem, but sharing emotional stuff about him is much more difficult now that the relationship has changed. Also, if I am unable to do it verbally, would email be ok? How much, how soon should you devulge? Anythings you should NEVER say at a certain point? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
DaiseyEyes Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 I have a problem expressing my emotions verbally also. I just can't get the words out of my mouth. I find it helpful to write it first and then try (I repeat TRY) to say it later. I wouldn't suggest using e-mail. If you can write it down then at least give him a handwritten letter or read it over the phone. As for how much and how soon, it depends on what you are comfortable telling him. I would definitely not get into personal (embarrassing stuff you wouldn't want to get around) until you are sure that this is a person who will respect your privacy even if you get into a fight. Good luck with the tougne un-tying! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MsLandon Posted June 2, 2004 Author Share Posted June 2, 2004 Originally posted by DaiseyEyes I have a problem expressing my emotions verbally also. I just can't get the words out of my mouth. I find it helpful to write it first and then try (I repeat TRY) to say it later. I wouldn't suggest using e-mail. If you can write it down then at least give him a handwritten letter or read it over the phone. As for how much and how soon, it depends on what you are comfortable telling him. I would definitely not get into personal (embarrassing stuff you wouldn't want to get around) until you are sure that this is a person who will respect your privacy even if you get into a fight. Good luck with the tougne un-tying! I basically reiterated what we discussed face to face in an email that I sent to him. I didn't devulge any secrets or anything and I don't think that I said anything that wasn't along the same line of things he's said to me in emails previously. Just basically let him know that I had a great time with him and I look forward to seeing more sides of his personality in the future. This would have been so difficult to say face to face. While he has no problems opening up about his feelings, it is very difficult to me.I'm hoping that it will at least provide some balance. But at the same time I think that it will cause him to feel like "he's got me" too. I am learning that he has ...not intimacy issues...but he keeps people at a distance (he has abandonment issues -we all have issues), particularly when he begins to develop strong feelings and when it appears that he's loosing that person he becomes very aggressive in terms of keeping them. I'm a person who likes consistancy so those two don't work well together. I guess at some point I will have to just put my fear aside and bring this to his attention. That will likely be very difficult, but I'm sure that if I can get my words together I'll be able to do it. Thank you for sharing. Link to post Share on other sites
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