Magda70 Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 Happy LS is back! I am very bad at maintaining NC. I happened to discover his new website and downloaded a few songs of him. Well, he is quite skilled on that and after a while i got the site inaccessible (to my IP address = home). He apparently understood where the download came from and did not appreciate the intrusion. Well, it is a sort of breaking NC and he did not appreciate it. I know i made a mistake but sometimes it's stronger then me...and i really do not know how to handle it. I wonder if any of you have been given medications (anti-anxiety) from the doctor to fight the urge to contact your ex. stefania Link to post Share on other sites
sunflower11 Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 (edited) Oh yay LS is back!!! I went through something similar these past two days Stefania but I didn't quite break NC. I actually checked my college email as I still do get some emails from my bank and couple other things on that one and saw he was online on my chat list. I almost got a heart attack from all the anxiety I had. He was online, I was online and neither of us said anything but that didn't stop me from staring at the green dot next to his name for a whole twn mnutes wishing he would say something....then I just logged off. You see...I had not seen him online since the break up 3.5 months ago (through a text message) and he has ignored every phone call, email, text, etc. It just felt so real to know he was sitting infront of his computer, online! I guess I've been ignored for so long that it's almost like its not real but seeing him online meant he was right there, right that moment and my anxiety just got so bad. What am I doing to not feel like that again? I have changed my email for future deliveries from the sites that I consider important, like bank and whatnot, to my personal gmail account cause I don't need reasons to log back into my college email again. I realized the reaction my body had to that was not a healthy one. If you stop and think about it, the beating of your heart, shortness of breath, etc that you feel before/if you break NC or even when you are googling his name or looking at his pictures or anything related to your ex might just be your head telling you it's not what you should be doing? Listen to your body! Edited January 3, 2012 by sunflower11 Link to post Share on other sites
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