Lonely Ronin Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 My last LTR ended about a year and a half ago and while I have dated since then, I haven't meet anyone that I could see myself with long term. I think this is partly because my social circle contains a lot of couples, and I'm not a 'club' kind of guy. Thus my options for meeting single women are limited. I've been researching & pondering for a good 6 months now, and come to the conclusion that match is probably the right site for me. Match seems to have the most 'normal' people in my area, and the most people I'd actually attracted to. I've had a photographer friend take some good photos of me, as I seem to be allergic to having my photo taken. I've also spent several hours reading profiles and writing mine. Some people say OLD is a numbers game for guys, and that you should contact every women you find attractive & interesting. I take dating seriously and genuinely want to find someone special, so contacting a boat load of women just doesn't sit right with me. Additionally I have a very busy life so I don't want to waste my time writing dozens of well-articulated messages for nothing. The strategy I'm considering is to publish my profile, and then just do nothing for a few days. I'm thinking a woman who checks my profile, winks, or if I'm lucky contacts me, is someone I should actually spend time on. What do people think, is this a good plan, or am I just wasting my time and money?
Wolf18 Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 Does that professional picture thing really work? It just strikes me as someone who tries too hard. IMO Ronin, any results you get over online dating you'd get 10 times better in real life. I think even picking up girls at the bar or club is easier than online dating for men.
FitChick Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 Sounds good. If you join, don't join for longer than three months, though. By then you will have seen everyone datable. By the way, Match.com and Yahoo Personals are one and the same. I think Dating Direct is also the same database of members. So compare all the prices and join the cheapest if possible.
Red Arremer Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 You remember that Global Thermonuclear War game from the old movie War Games? Same concepts apply here.
oaks Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 The strategy I'm considering is to publish my profile, and then just do nothing for a few days. I'm thinking a woman who checks my profile, winks, or if I'm lucky contacts me, is someone I should actually spend time on. What do people think, is this a good plan, or am I just wasting my time and money? If that's your strategy then don't forget that many sites let you publish your profile for free and you only have to pay when you want to start sending messages... so you can try that and see how many (if any) messages you get. However, as a rule of thumb, women don't make first contact on dating sites, so don't expect too much. A more effective strategy is to write a good profile, have some good pictures, and contact lots of women with individually written messages that are more than 1 line long.
irc333 Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 A more effective strategy is to write a good profile, have some good pictures, and contact lots of women with individually written messages that are more than 1 line long. Never really understood the "Have good pictures", I"m assuming just CLEAR and up-to-date photos, but if one is ugly, what good does having an HDTV-quality photo? Interestingly enough, I've done all 3, including the "more than one line and individually written" messages, but had little results.
oaks Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 Never really understood the "Have good pictures", I"m assuming just CLEAR and up-to-date photos, but if one is ugly, what good does having an HDTV-quality photo? I mean that they should be technically good; well lit, in focus. Photos taken outside in natural light are generally going to be better than those taken with a webcam and the illumination of your computer screen. In those photos you should also be well dressed and groomed - not wearing a 'just got out of bed' look (unless that's your normal look). You shouldn't look like a grumpy sod either - smile for the camera in at least one photo. A photo showing your face (eg just head and shoulders) plus a photo showing your whole body is a good idea because omitting either makes it look like you have something to hide. Self portraits (the kind where you hold the camera yourself) are rarely flattering - avoid those. Sure, if you are ugly you'll have problems in a dating medium that relies on having attractive photos, but most people aren't ugly (just 'average') and many people let themselves down by having photos that suck.
oldguy Posted January 4, 2012 Posted January 4, 2012 (edited) I was 40 something when my 20+ year marriage ended and after getting comfortable with myself & being just one person again I gave on-line dating a try. I found it to be very similar to meeting people in any other sort of place like a club. I personally had a great time interacting, had a few enjoyable dates, 1 or 2 not so enjoyable, just like you would have meeting someone anywhere else. I also made a couple friends & met my wife on line At the same time I also thought it was important for me to get out and socialize in 'the real world' as much as possible, which wasn't a problem because everyone & their neighbor wanted to set me up on blind dates , I think it's was a pity thing, 'poor guy', which I thought was cute & I have to admit most of the dates where fun & a couple where... interesting My point is; the net is just one more way to meet & interact with people, thats what we are doing right now, sort of, & on-line dating worked out very well for me. Only one word of advise for both men & women; and it should be a no brainer, make sure the first time you meet someone its in a very public place, meet them away from where you live & if possible, & this is a little sneaky but, have a friend or friends near by. I just remembered; I was very open other than one restriction I developed after dating a bit was 'age', my restriction was no more than 10 years older or younger than myself mostly because I met a couple of women who where in their 20's & at the time one of my son's & my daughter where closer to these girls age than I was, which was a major yuk factor for me, that & they both lied & said they where in their thirties, not a good way to meet someone Edited January 4, 2012 by oldguy
Author Lonely Ronin Posted January 5, 2012 Author Posted January 5, 2012 Does that professional picture thing really work? It just strikes me as someone who tries too hard. They aren't staged studio type photos. Basically my freind said meet me here, and then just had me sit and stand a few places while he took photos. I'm sure the $4K camera helped a bit.
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