Broke NC to see her on New Year's Eve. Big mistake.

[jackmerridew]

My girl broke up with me Dec. 12 because she didn't want responsibility over my feelings anymore.

 

Naturally I was heartbroken. We only went out for six months, but we both went through a lot during those six months, including me practically living at her apartment. I loved her, and she said she loved me.

 

Unfortunately she never wanted to call us officially "boyfriend/girlfriend." We were only "exclusively dating" (her decision not mine), and she would tell others that we were dating, but nothing set in stone.

 

We got together on New Year's Eve, and we spent the night at my place, because she insisted on mine instead of hers. I was too drunk to argue, and when we got to my place we had sex.

 

The next morning on New Year's Day, we ate together, and I was dropping her off at her apartment. I said I needed to use the bathroom, and she said no. And I said, "Well I also have something of mine (a gift a recently deceased friend of mine gave me) that I want back."

 

She said "Well you can use the bathroom at your apartment, I'll wait downstairs, and at my place I'll get the bottle and bring it back down to you."

 

At this I blew up. For the past six months I feel like she had been hiding the reality of a "friendship" she's had for the past two years. All of that was explained in this thread back in October: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t300910/

 

The past three weeks I had been crying and pining over her, asking for another chance. But when she would let me have sex with her, but not even give me the courtesy to use her bathroom at a place I slept in for most of 2011? That pushed me over the edge.

 

We said some harsh things to each other. She said I was controlling, I said her behavior seems to lead other guys on, including myself. And we started 2012 wanting to kill each other.

 

I talked to her yesterday, when she finally brought over the gift from my friend, and I told her that I've gotten to the point (just as she was when she broke up with me) of being tired of dealing with it.

 

I didn't say I would ignore her, but I did say that I would stop pushing for a relationship and let us both live our lives separately.

 

I thought I wouldn't be sad about it, now that I finally admitted that to myself. But I woke up this morning as much of a wreck as I had been for most of December.

 

But it also taught me that breaking no contact only sets you back further.

[Sugarkane]

It sounds like a red flag if she wasn't calling you bf and gf after 6 months. If you fancy someone and become exclusive usually you want to tell absolutely everyone about it.

[Exit]

I agree with Sugarkane, that is a red flag just about 100% of the time, if someone loves you and cares for you but hesitates to want to refer to it as an official relationship, something is weird there.

 

I'm sorry you're hurting but do your best to try to realize what type of person she is, she would sooner come over and share her body with you to have sex but she won't let you in to use a toilet? So she is less protective of her sex organ that a depository for human waste?

 

And again on the red flag note, maybe there's a reason she doesn't want you coming inside, what could it hurt to let you use the bathroom? Maybe she has pictures of herself with someone else, or someone else's belongings in her place that she didn't want you to see. That was a really surprising reaction to a request to use the bathroom, and she's hiding something.

 

At least you got back that important item you wanted.

 

Not much of a mystery that you're hurting again, you got yourself back to square one with her and then the wound was reopened. Do your best not to initiate any further contact with her.