coping with the first real love

[Chs]

So here is my story.

Last new years eve i met this wonderful girl, i have had quite a few others but i fell for this one head over heels. It was wonderful and perfect and she is the first girl i actually loved (still do, i guess)

 

We were a couple for about 8 months, until we broke up because we had been having too many disagreements lately (not really heavy discussions and arguments, just different views on some important things)

 

I was heartbroken, didn't have motivation to leave my room for a week and i did a terrible job in school for over 2 months.. I then started to feel a little better during december, she texted me on my birthday and we just casually texted back and forth a few times since. I met her out clubbing on the 25th where she came up to hug me and tell me about her christmas etc.

when she got home she texted me "it was so nice to see you" and dumb as i am i naturally assumed she was somewhat interrested still.

 

Then new years eve came, the night we met. It was really emotional for me and as we were apart i texted her a nice greeting and got one back.

The next 2 days went by with me initiating contact a few times, since she kept replying with sweet nicknames and hearts i actually believed i could win her back.

But last night after casually looking at my facebook i see her post just a little "<3" on this guys wall, i know they kissed about a month ago at the club but also that they stopped talking shortly after. Now they are apparantly seeing each other.

 

This hurt me so deeply, the thought of being replaced by the person i care the most for. I mean im happy for her that she isn't stuck like me, but it's though for me to deal with her having met someone that is able to take her mind off me and make her feel the same way i used to, when im still stuck on thinking about how special she was to me and how little interrest i have in other girls.

 

I am sure our social conditions have mattered alot, where she lives with her parents and twin sister and have a lot of very close girl friends that have helped her to forget me, i moved by myself 2 days after meeting her and have no close family, i only have a single friend that im able to talk about my problems with and then a bunch of not really close friend to go out with.

 

I can't see and end to this, i feel so alone. I don't feel like i belong in my apartment anymore since she was always a part of this place and when she took back her things it doesen't feel like my home anymore. But i can't move out, i don't have the money. I have no one else in this city, she was my everything for the time we went out and i didn't really give networking much thought as i was happy with her. Now i try ALL i can to get better, i work out every day, focus on making food and school, try as hard as possible to network and make friends but it's such a steep way and i can't help but feel like giving up. I don't know if im strong enough to get through, it's been 3 months and i have cried every single day, sometimes not even because of her.

Edited January 4, 2012 by Chs

[Exit]

I can relate to how you feel about your apartment, I'm also living in a place that was pretty much for the sole purpose of her and I being able to have our own place with privacy. Now I sit here alone with some of her furniture and the last remaining belongings that she hasn't cared to pick up. It sucks being here, yet moving somewhere else and cutting all remaining ties would also be painful.

 

And you're right that when girls have a good support system, it helps them to move on in a big way. They have friends and family with their own intentions in mind, people who are happy that they can spend more time with her because she isn't in a relationship anymore, and they'll be glad to fill her head with things like "you're so much better off" and "I hope you aren't thinking of talking to him ever again", because they want their friend to stick around.

 

I'm pretty isolated like you as well, the couple of people I could count on to hang out with are all mutual friends with the ex, and I don't want to hang out with them and see them texting and wonder if they are talking to her, so I don't really hang out with them anymore. And on top of that, I made the decision to get rid of Facebook completely, to avoid seeing things similar to what you ended up discovering, so I'm even more isolated, even though I never really "participated" in Facebook, I just had an account and never really posted or anything. But still, it adds to the lonely feeling to not have the social network anymore.

 

Try to just mind your own business, it seems like she was at least interested in possibly being friends with you, and maybe a sliiiight chance that she was hinting at something more if she really was sending you hearts and stuff. Don't make yourself available to her and focus on yourself if you're only getting breadcrumbs and meaningless flirting from her.

[Chs]

I just had to leave School early. I talked to a mutual girl friend who told mé that my ex has been talking about me very badly. How i am very immature compared to the new guy, how he dresses better and just in general how much better he is for her. This hurt me badly, and also my self esteem alot. I just want her to at least remember me in a fond way, but i guess i cant make her?

Edited January 6, 2012 by Chs

[Chs]

My feelings are a mess at the moment.

Just when i feel better, something pops up that makes me feel worse again.

 

I just about accepted she is with someone else now, i can picture them kissing without much pain but just feeling happy for her instead.

 

I felt that i was ready to let go of her, but i still want her in my life pretty bad.

I got invited to this club event on facebook and saw her sister post there about how they would come to celebrate their birthday, and i just felt really sad that i won't be a part of her birthday this year, all the things like that im going to miss badly. But guess i will get better as time progresses.

[reimeivn]

She did change, she is not the same person anymore. when somebody comes to your life, and leaves you, they changes and becomes a different person.

 

First love is always the hardest because you didnt know that one day the person could walk out on you. I think it always feels hurt when you think about the person having somebody new. I know I do. Everybody do.

 

You will find somebody else when the time is right, and please know that first love is called first love for a reason. You will be with the real love later in life. But you cant if you dont go through all this pains and lonliness. You wont have the heart to love and appreciate when the right one comes along.