stillafool Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 I'm sorry for your pain. I hope people start to realize that if you want a lasting relationship with someone to never settle to just be a FWB. Link to post Share on other sites
goldengirl11 Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 (edited) Am off work today (which has been constant of late) and you could say am having a rough day. Similar to yourselves I am finding it v hard to find that my ex/FWB has still disappeared. Was hoping he'd e-mail again at Xmas/new year. Sent him one at Xmas although made sure it was one to everyone so it didn't look I was hanging on if you see what I mean. He has made me feel useless and less attractive and can only guess his ex (who he pretty much stopped seeing me for) came back into the picture. It sucks! I feel that if and when it doesn't work out (again?) that he may well get in touch again, but who knows when that will be. I'm having a photo shoot done for myself (or for a dating site rather) next week, and if I'm pleased with the pics and decide to buy 1 or 2, then perhaps I might be tempted to send him a copy to show the newer me! Edited January 7, 2012 by goldengirl11 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Am off work today (which has been constant of late) and you could say am having a rough day. Similar to yourselves I am finding it v hard to find that my ex/FWB has still disappeared. Was hoping he'd e-mail again at Xmas/new year. Sent him one at Xmas although made sure it was one to everyone so it didn't look I was hanging on if you see what I mean. He has made me feel useless and less attractive and can only guess his ex (who he pretty much stopped seeing me for) came back into the picture. It sucks! I feel that if and when it doesn't work out (again?) that he may well get in touch again, but who knows when that will be. I'm having a photo shoot done for myself (or for a dating site rather) next week, and if I'm pleased with the pics and decide to buy 1 or 2, then perhaps I might be tempted to send him a copy to show the newer me! Why would you want to send him a picture after he has treated you the way he has. His actions say everything. Do something new for yourself in 2012. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 (edited) I'm having a photo shoot done for myself (or for a dating site rather) next week, and if I'm pleased with the pics and decide to buy 1 or 2, then perhaps I might be tempted to send him a copy to show the newer me! I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but where is your dignity? Trying to remind him of what he's missing. Trying to entice him with pictures. Look at me, look at me. Please want me. I'm so beautiful, just look at these pictures. You put yourself in a situation where you hoped sex would keep him where you needed him to be and that failed. Now you want to dangle pictures. Please find your self respect and pride and move on. Step in his shoes. He will look at those pictures and feel your desperation. The bigger question here is why do you believe you have to stoop so low to get someone to value you? If someone wants you, they don't have to be reminded. You will be memorable and enough to want back, and for all the right reasons. Edited January 8, 2012 by geegirl Link to post Share on other sites
goldengirl11 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 (edited) I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but where is your dignity? Trying to remind him of what he's missing. Trying to entice him with pictures. Look at me, look at me. Please want me. I'm so beautiful, just look at these pictures. You put yourself in a situation where you hoped sex would keep him where you needed him to be and that failed. Now you want to dangle pictures. Please find your self respect and pride and move on. Step in his shoes. He will look at those pictures and feel your desperation. The bigger question here is why do you believe you have to stoop so low to get someone to value you? If someone wants you, they don't have to be reminded. You will be memorable and enough to want back, and for all the right reasons. Yes, I see your point. I was afraid of looking desperate. They are for me though. Edited January 9, 2012 by goldengirl11 Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 FWBs to very good friends. We really became close until he started to pull away. Turns out he's friends with his ex again. I had a hizzy because that would mean I'm out. He broke up with her because of me. Well anyway, he told me he was still in love with her but not going back (he's in denial for sure). Anyway, we hashed it out and still hung out. Although I did warn him that it would probably be best for me if I moved on. What I didn't expect nor want was...he went away for the Xmas week and never heard from him again. Aaaaak! We live in the same place, hang with the same friends and go to the same places. WTH? He's 45 yrs old. Grow a pair. He'll have to change his pattern because I will not. I refuse. Someone explain this cowardly behavior. He just decided to throw our friendship in the garbage.."poof". I feel used. I feel I did the right thing or at least I hope I did. I sent a nice e-mail stating this was the best move and it frees me to meet other men. Good luck to him and etc. Of course he did not respond. At least I'm the bigger person. Let him be a jerk to her now. While I'm holding my head up high I'm dying inside (just not letting him know that). The answer you seek is as old as the moon: "(heterosexual) Men (who are not connected via work, family, etc.) have zero interest in being mere 'friends' with women when said men don't really see themselves as being in line to date those women". Thus, when a guy gets a better idea, or a better opportunity, that reality tends to reveal itself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yolatanga Posted January 12, 2012 Author Share Posted January 12, 2012 The answer you seek is as old as the moon: "(heterosexual) Men (who are not connected via work, family, etc.) have zero interest in being mere 'friends' with women when said men don't really see themselves as being in line to date those women". Thus, when a guy gets a better idea, or a better opportunity, that reality tends to reveal itself. I have a lot of guy friends that are still my friend many yrs later even though they are married, have kids..etc. This guy swore to me up and down that our friendship was very important because I wanted to walk away several times. We were not having sex anymore so I believed him. It was until he started contacted his ex that he has completely shut me out. He did it over the holidays which made it hurt just a tad more. Not heard nor seen him since the Sunday before Xmas. I'm doing a good job avoiding him since we live in the same place and hang at the same places. I hear he lost weight (probably for his ex) and he's happy. I'm miserable. Today I miss him...aaaaaak! Why? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 I'm miserable. Today I miss him...aaaaaak! Why? Because, when we become emotionally attached to people and they discard us, it hurts. Part of the human condition. My sympathies. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yolatanga Posted January 12, 2012 Author Share Posted January 12, 2012 Because, when we become emotionally attached to people and they discard us, it hurts. Part of the human condition. My sympathies. Thanks. It's been since the 18th of December since we last hung out/spoke. Shocked we have not run into each other. I have a feeling that is about to change. Not sure if I should say boo to him if I hear or see him? I think I'll show him the same lack of respect he gave me. Not the time of day. Link to post Share on other sites
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