solong123 Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 For some reason I had this really bad urge to check the exes and new gf's facebook after they've been blocked....A little back story for those who don't know. Basically we were working on reconciling then two days later he drops he for someone he just met (I know for certain just met) and never told me or spoke to me about it, he just stopped contacting me and I found out through facebook. He was emotionally abusive and draining so I know I am better off but there is always that pit in my stomach that makes me believe it was my fault and I made him treat me that way. I go on facebok to see this new girl and his friends all chatting making jokes when they never talked to me...after a year and a half. I feel like crap, any advice is welcome because my anxiety is in full swing now... Link to post Share on other sites
Exit Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Stay away from FB. I know you probably think you just got burned by it and you wouldn't be silly enough to check it again, but you probably will. Disabling your account can be helpful for a while. I completely deleted mine a few weeks back and it's probably the best decision I've made so far. Try to look at your situation as dodging a bullet. He was talking about reconciling with you, probably just because he had nobody else to give him any attention. Then the first second someone else came along, he went for them instead. This happened a few days into making reconciliation efforts instead of a few months or years. I know that doesn't make it feel any better but at least he revealed his true colors before you put any more effort into it. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 For some reason I had this really bad urge to check the exes and new gf's facebook after they've been blocked.... A little back story for those who don't know. Basically we were working on reconciling then two days later he drops he for someone he just met (I know for certain just met) and never told me or spoke to me about it, he just stopped contacting me and I found out through facebook. He was emotionally abusive and draining so I know I am better off but there is always that pit in my stomach that makes me believe it was my fault and I made him treat me that way. I go on facebok to see this new girl and his friends all chatting making jokes when they never talked to me...after a year and a half. I feel like crap, any advice is welcome because my anxiety is in full swing now... Strikethrough is completely irrelevant. you messed up. move on, don't do it again. What were you expecting - hearts and pink roses? He's a player. Do better next time. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I agree. Do not do anything that you are not totally sure will not cause you any suffering. Be happy with yourself now and move on to greater things in life. “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” - Buddha Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Facebook is awful when you're still feeling hurt. Next time the urge hits you, use this experience to remind yourself of how bad it feels to check up on your ex and anyone associated w/ him. If you check it again even after this, that's okay too. It's part of your healing and you'll eventually get tired of feeling crappy. It's going to be though first, but you'll feel better. It does take time, but you will feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
whoareu Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 Get rid of facebook. I had deactivated mine over 5 months ago and just brought it back because it was the only way I knew to get in touch with a relative. While I had it up I couldn't resist looking at the ex's page and his now fiance. Hurt ALOT. That was yesterday. I can't eat, sleep or do anything functional again. I thought about leaving it open and just not ever signing on.... just in case he wanted to contact me. But that's not likely, and I'll probably sneak a peak here and there, so it has to go. And looking back, I realize this guy was a jerk, but my kind heart obviously doesn't recognize jerks. Another thing I've learned is that the stuff people post on facebook is really just a small part of their lives (most people.. some post EVERYTHING). They're only going to post the good stuff, or make stuff up. So I'm sure they have their share of miserable times too.... it's just that nobody sees that. Everybody's life looks fantastic on facebook. I deactivated again and this time I will try to have it deleted for good. I missed some of my 'friends' a little bit in the beginning, but now I don't miss it at all. Link to post Share on other sites
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