maria_patheticsoul Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 First of all i am not sure if i am posting this thread in the right category..but anyway bear with me. I broke up with my so called "SO" months ago. But i had questions in my mind that i was not able to ask him. Few weeks before we broke up he admitted that he knows he is not too good communicating with me and he promised he will sort it out. I do not even call the relationship long distance because we havent met in real yet. But anyway the questions not being asked are the following: 1.) Why is it that when feels low he doesn't want to talk to me...isn't it better if he talk to me and tell me what is bothering him? 2.) He does not want to skype and cam often because he hates it when we say goodbye. Did this mean he does not miss me that much? 3.) Whenever he mentions about his plans for the future i always go with the flow...he mentions it one time and i never bothered to ask about it again. Did he felt that i was not that interested at all or he felt brushed off as i did not bothered asking too many questions about his plans for our future. I know these questions should not be asked because i tagged him as a compulsive liar but still for some reason i wanted to have answers...so i thought of posting this thread maybe some insights from some of you will enlighten me. Thank you for reading this and bearing with me... Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Those these questions may be valid they are insiginificant now. You were with someone who did not meet what you wanted out of a partner and you will find better. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 If he's a compulsive liar, isn't that all you need to know? Seriously, if you haven't even met and you know this about him already then then the question you need to ask is, why do you not believe that you deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maria_patheticsoul Posted January 6, 2012 Author Share Posted January 6, 2012 I realized he is a compulsive liar based on his behavior but i did not actually told him about it...i just broke up with him telling him i can not be with him because of his strange behavior. I know getting back with him was a mistake in the first place it was because we did not have closure back then. Maybe the issue the first time we had this thing was not resolved at all and i just keep telling him i believe him this time but deep inside i was just looking for loopholes just to prove i am right that he is never going to change. I know these questions are irrelevant now but i still want to get some answers not from him but from other people's point of view so next time i know why men act this way. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 Sweetie, it's not that men behave this way, it's that people behave this way. There are two basic kinds of people, those with integrity and those without. The first and perhaps most important task in dating is to determine which group the current specimen falls into. Members of the first group you drop without a second thought, members of the second you date to determine if there is long-term potential based on chemistry and compatibility. Think different. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maria_patheticsoul Posted January 6, 2012 Author Share Posted January 6, 2012 Oh yeah i am sorry my mistake...it's not only men behave this way but it also applies to women...some men...some women. It's quite tiring, the profiling among the other things that needs to be done to maintain a "good" relationship. Difficult to have it in real time much more even difficult if it's long distance. Even if i stop searching and just wait for the right guy to come along it's still going to be the same process...too much effort to achieve fulfillment in the "love" department. I guess maybe the things i hate with the opposite sex is the very same trait i hate in myself? But of course not the extreme behaviors that i have experienced. Sometimes i believe that in order to realize how a certain person behaves...you should put yourself in their own shoes so you can deeply understand why are they behaving that way....or maybe not. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 I agree that attempting to put yourself in someone else's shoes is the best way to attempt to understand how they feel and what they are going through. Empathy is very important. Try to do so in an unbiased way and from a place of peace so that you can view things objectively and logically. Link to post Share on other sites
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