wilsonx Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 No..never saw him..never met him. All I knew about him were all the negative things she told me about....that we've already discussed. Reread my question were you friends with her while she was in a relationship with him Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Thanks again, At 42 yrs. old and having been thru numerous relationships..breakups..I thought I'd be able to handle this one better...for some F-uped reason this one brought me to my knees. Mike being a rebound hurts. Ill ask you a question but...... See that pain you felt, How do you think her boyfriend(was ex) will feel if you accept that request or step back into her life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike588 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 (edited) Reread my question were you friends with her while she was in a relationship with him Wilson....yes kinda..it's tough to explain...remember. I know you want a yes or no.I'd have to say yes but barely. I'll try to expain then you can decide. I was screwing around on facebook one night typing in old friends names...I typed her name in and Bam there she was....I sent her an email and we met up one day just catching up....We didn't hang out or anything after that..I believe she was out of the relationship with him...they may have been broken up. I can't recall. We made plans to see a movie as friends someday soon....(must of been broken up) I didn't hear from her for a month or more then she calls me and says she's back with him.....then 3 weeks later I get an email from her saying the relationship is in trouble....he's not there for her blah blah blah. Shortly after that our relationship began.I'm sorry if thats to much info. on your direct question.. So yes....but no? I'll let you be the judge. Oh this is way to long!!...they had brokenup and got back together so much I didn't know when she was single or with him. Edited January 7, 2012 by mike588 Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 (edited) Now you finally told the truth, finally. You avoided posting that in your other posts. Not once was it mentioned it. You know you had fault for being a girlfriend stealer. You made your bed, now sleep in it. Next time when you come forum seek sympathy . Make sure you dont 'avoid' the entire truth You know what you did was wrong I don't have to judge ****, I set you up to get you to tell the truth, you're the one that has to live with yourself Truthfully, your ex is screwing with you on purpose Edited January 7, 2012 by wilsonx Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike588 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 Mike being a rebound hurts. Ill ask you a question but...... See that pain you felt, How do you think her boyfriend(was ex) will feel if you accept that request or step back into her life. Good question...He may be bothered by it...he may not? In her words that he was cold and distant before the b/u and still is....she told me that the last time we talked...she didn't say cold but did say he's still distant... he may not care? She was a very people person...still stays in touch with the ex. husband..(no threat) while we were together. One night shortly before she dumped she got a facebook message from an old ex. from 15 years ago and invited him over one day but made sure I'd be there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike588 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 Now you finally told the truth, finally. You avoided posting that in your other posts. Not once was it mentioned it. You know you had fault for being a girlfriend stealer. You made your bed, now sleep in it. Next time when you come forum seek sympathy . Make sure you dont 'avoid' the entire truth You know what you did was wrong I don't have to judge ****, I set you up to get you to tell the truth, you're the one that has to live with yourself Truthfully, your ex is screwing with you on purpose WTF are you talking about???? I didn't steal her from him!!!!!! She contacted me when they were having problems and NEVER pushed...suggested in any way to leave him for me.I never came on to her...never implied anything. After she told me they were back together I said to her ok....fine.nice talking with you and left it at that...no follow ups...no calls/texts/etc. I went and did my own thing then SHE contacts me saying the relationship is failing....has failed an he was coming over to get his stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 At 42 yrs. old and having been thru numerous relationships..breakups..I thought I'd be able to handle this one better...for some F-uped reason this one brought me to my knees. Now that new information has came to light, how do you think her boyfriend felt when she started to hang around with you, it may be and possibly is why he distanced, How do you think her boyfriend felt when she left him and started persuing you 3 weeks later? Im sure that brought him to his knees. You only heard her side. You knew she was 3 weeks from the split. At your age, im pretty sure you know you were in the wrong as much as her and as much as him. Now ill ask again, if you respond and step back into her life, how do you think her boyfriend will feel? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike588 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 (edited) Now that new information has came to light, how do you think her boyfriend felt when she started to hang around with you, it may be and possibly is why he distanced, How do you think her boyfriend felt when she left him and started persuing you 3 weeks later? Im sure that brought him to his knees. You only heard her side. You knew she was 3 weeks from the split. At your age, im pretty sure you know you were in the wrong as much as her and as much as him. Now ill ask again, if you respond and step back into her life, how do you think her boyfriend will feel? Re-read what I said... we DID NOT HANG OUT!! If you want to call it hanging out by a few emails that she started when they were in the process of breaking up or brokenup then call it that. Again I NEVER suggested...implied..advised...begged etc. her to dump him for me! Never!! Yes I started the whole thing by emailing her on Facebook and the relationship status was single at that time...even if it were.. "In a relationship" I had NO intentions...no desire of "stealing her" from anyone. Remember we were friends from LONG ago and the purpose of my email was to catchup on old times. BTW...he distanced himself long...long before I was even in the picture and why would it matter how he felt when she brokeup with him and he just up and left. Edited January 7, 2012 by mike588 Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Iwhy did you avoid telling the full truth in your 4 months here . You avoided it twice when i asked Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike588 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 Iwhy did you avoid telling the full truth in your 4 months here . You avoided it twice when i asked Not that you didn't but I don't ever remember you asking me if we were friends when they were together. That's why my answer wasn't a direct.. yes or no. We were friends from may years ago and assumed that we still were when we made contact again. That's all I ever expected us to continue to be...just catching up on the "old days" she's the one that came on to me after....after he up and walked out!! What would any man..or woman do if they were told...hey I'm single my b/f..g/f and I brokeup....he..she packed up their sh*t and left and haven't heard a word from them in 3 weeks and were assured they were done with that person? Other than my mistake of getting involved with someone single...free..not in a relationship anymore way to fast..that's my mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
M2155 Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I understand the friends thing Mike, I would never knowingly got involved with a taken guy. At the time I met my ex i didnt know what feelings for whomever he had been with when or before he met me. I introduced myself and he pursued me. It was not until 1.5 years later did I make the connection there had probably been someone recent in his life. From the way he emotionally checked out on me but didnt break up until after he started a new relationship (which he possibly did to her too) makes me wonder now if that's just how he rolls. I'm not psychic, I took him at his words and actions that he was interested and ready for a relationship with me. Your ex has always sounded to me, from what you've told me, that she was not happy and wanted to move on and you came around at the right (or wrong) time. The attachment just didn't happen for her with you. Some people want a change from an unfulfilling situation and you were an easy way out for her. In the end I think she knew for real she could never love you the way you did her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike588 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 I understand the friends thing Mike, I would never knowingly got involved with a taken guy. At the time I met my ex i didnt know what feelings for whomever he had been with when or before he met me. I introduced myself and he pursued me. It was not until 1.5 years later did I make the connection there had probably been someone recent in his life. From the way he emotionally checked out on me but didnt break up until after he started a new relationship (which he possibly did to her too) makes me wonder now if that's just how he rolls. I'm not psychic, I took him at his words and actions that he was interested and ready for a relationship with me. Your ex has always sounded to me, from what you've told me, that she was not happy and wanted to move on and you came around at the right (or wrong) time. The attachment just didn't happen for her with you. Some people want a change from an unfulfilling situation and you were an easy way out for her. In the end I think she knew for real she could never love you the way you did her. Ok where is your crystal ball,lol. The night she dumped me that's exactly what she said.....I can't love you the way you love me..Damn your good. Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I understand what you're saying but that avoidance leaves something to be desired, I just want you to get to understand why you avoided posting big pieces to your puzzle. Google the definition of avoidance Link to post Share on other sites
lalalandman Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 (edited) I understand it's important to ask people directly how they feel or why they do what they do, but that doesn't mean you can trust what they say. I mean, can we all probably conclude that this chic is confused? So what's the point in asking somebody who can't be trusted for information? What's so different now than before? Probably not much. She made her bed, so let her sleep in it. Edited January 7, 2012 by lalalandman Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike588 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 I understand what you're saying but that avoidance leaves something to be desired, I just want you to get to understand why you avoided posting big pieces to your puzzle. Google the definition of avoidance I know what avoidance means. Regardless of what it means I didn't.....wasn't the cause of their b/u.....you already know they had broken up numerous times before I was EVER in the picture..before we ever reconnected...hell they may have broken up 20 times before....I know of only what she....her sisters told me...3 times. So if that's true where was I the other 2 times before I even knew she still existed. There were obviously problems between them as you very well are aware of before I was even around... so I'm the blame of the 3rd b/u??? Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 (edited) Mike, I respect you but your still avoiding, I can attest to this and Smokey can attest to this infatuation doesn't happen from just hanging out. You had to do something to get her to jump before she jumped Edited January 7, 2012 by wilsonx Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike588 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 Mike, I respect you but your still avoiding, I can attest to this and Smokey can attest to this infatuation doesn't happen from just hanging out. You had to do something to get her to jump Ok.. maybe she like the way I smiled or the shirt I was wearing that made her to jump...maybe she had a crush on me many years ago when we did....HANG OUT... I don't know! Ask her. In my 42 yrs. I have never cheated on anyone or would sleep with someone I knew was either married or in a relationship...it's wrong..and I know the pain it can and will cause the other party. When she contacted me their relationship was already over...her words. I had NO infulance over it...it was her choice...I thought we would just continue to be friends and was very surprised when she came on to me...kissed me on the lips after our 1st "official date after he had walked out...let me say it again..after HE walked out!!! Last Time.......We didn't hang out when she was in that on again..off again relationship with him!! Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Re-read what I said... we DID NOT HANG OUT!! If you want to call it hanging out by a few emails that she started when they were in the process of breaking up or brokenup then call it that. Again I NEVER suggested...implied..advised...begged etc. her to dump him for me! Never!! Yes I started the whole thing by emailing her on Facebook and the relationship status was single at that time...even if it were.. "In a relationship" I had NO intentions...no desire of "stealing her" from anyone. Remember we were friends from LONG ago and the purpose of my email was to catchup on old times. BTW...he distanced himself long...long before I was even in the picture and why would it matter how he felt when she brokeup with him and he just up and left. Mike im not jumping on you, im just saying look at the situation before you decide to reply. Figure out what you were to her and to not paint her black you were as much at fault. Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Ok.. maybe she like the way I smiled or the shirt I was wearing that made her to jump...maybe she had a crush on me many years ago when we did....HANG OUT... I don't know! Ask her. In my 42 yrs. I have never cheated on anyone or would sleep with someone I knew was either married or in a relationship...it's wrong..and I know the pain it can and will cause the other party. When she contacted me their relationship was already over...her words. I had NO infulance over it...it was her choice...I thought we would just continue to be friends and was very surprised when she came on to me...kissed me on the lips after our 1st "official date after he had walked out...let me say it again..after HE walked out!!! Last Time.......We didn't hang out when she was in that on again..off again relationship with him!! I think you were a rebound, you knew she split with him and went back you should have saw it would happen again. Its hard, just really think about what you were to her before you decide to reply Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike588 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 Mike im not jumping on you, im just saying look at the situation before you decide to reply. Figure out what you were to her and to not paint her black you were as much at fault. Ok..fair....lets see what was I to her....Hummm..thinking...other than an old friend from long ago who had no intentions at that time to become romantically involved....I don't know. Read M2155s response just a short while ago....Her/their relationship was dead....I came along at the right..or wrong time...she was looking for someone..something....an escape from the dead relationship?? Other than me ignoring red flags....falling for someone fresh out of a relationship....how am I to blame when I had nothing to do with the b/u. Again..I didn't encourage her...paint him as a bad person to her ect.He had already left not just that time when I knew she still existed but he walked out before I even re-connected with her..long ago when I wasn't around. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike588 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 I think you were a rebound, you knew she split with him and went back you should have saw it would happen again. Its hard, just really think about what you were to her before you decide to reply I don't think I was a rebound... I Know I Was rebound....Yes another red flag ignored...she went back once...twice...I should of know better...110% agree. Still thinking what was...I ...to her. An escape from an unhappy failed relationship? A very handsome sweet guy,lol to take away her pain from the failed relationship? I'll keep thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 (edited) Mike you're trying to bull **** 2 bull****ers You heard she was having problems and you chased trying to be captain save a hoe. Stop deflecting on other people. The gigs up bro your avoiding the story shows us were right. Just admit it to yourself so you can heal let go and move on. Trust me if she didn't stay with you, you aren't that good looking. Your smile didn't magically attract her. Your chase did she left her ex for you because you chased and he stopped When you chased you created infatuation, infatuation doesn't magically happen by smiling or looking good, you made her feel special. Something her ex wasn't doing Edited January 7, 2012 by wilsonx Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike588 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 Mike you're trying to bull **** 2 bull****ers You heard she was having problems and you chased trying to be captain save a hoe. Stop deflecting on other people. The gigs up bro your avoiding the story shows us were right. Just admit it to yourself so you can heal let go and move on. Trust me if she didn't stay with you, you aren't that good looking. Your smile didn't magically attract her. Your chase did she left her ex for you because you chased and he stopped When you chased you created infatuation, infatuation doesn't magically happen by smiling or looking good, you made her feel special. Something her ex wasn't doing When I 1st became aware that they were having problems in that email....her saying he's not there for here ....he was cold and distant..(was...past tense..it's over) well she also said he's coming over tomorrow..or the next day to get his stuff. Wilson I finally figured it out....it was you..you were that fly on the wall during our entire relationship....from that 1st email she sent me till the day she dumped me...no wonder you have it all figured out..no wonder you know exactly what happened with us...it was you....you observed..listened and followed us around for a whole year.lol Your entiteled to your opinion....but that's all it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike588 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 (edited) Yes I chased her AFTER he walked out. 3 weeks after he walked out on her. Edited January 7, 2012 by mike588 Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 (edited) Look, I didnt make an assclown of myself in this post to prove your guilty of something bad. I made an assclown of myself so that you would grow up and stop lying to yourself. You got hosed. Ive admitted that since day 1, but as long as you lie to yourself and avoid the truth and DEFLECT blame on everyone else but yourself, you are never going to let go and heal. You have over 1000 posts here and never once admitted any of the things I called you out on. Come on, dont play games with me man. Like I said I respect you Now, the truth is out, in the open for all to see, you were communicating with her while she was in a relationship, eh not the smartest idea. Never trust someone that came out of a breakup either, they dont always tell the full truth, you trusted her with the full truth like we trusted you with the full truth Edited January 8, 2012 by wilsonx Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts