I'm back...Unreal what happened.

[mike588]

Look, I didnt make an assclown of myself in this post to prove your guilty of something bad. I made an assclown of myself so that you would grow up and stop lying to yourself. You got hosed. Ive admitted that since day 1, but as long as you lie to yourself and avoid the truth and DEFLECT blame on everyone else but yourself, you are never going to let go and heal.

 

You have over 1000 posts here and never once admitted any of the things I called you out on. Come on, dont play games with me man. Like I said I respect you

 

Now, the truth is out, in the open for all to see, you were communicating with her while she was in a relationship, eh not the smartest idea.

 

Never trust someone that came out of a breakup either, they dont always tell the full truth, you trusted her with the full truth like we trusted you with the full truth

 

Wilson..I respect you too but I'm growing alittle tired of you assuming what happened...you were NOT there...you don't know...I have no reason to bullsh*t you or anyone on this forum.

 

I know what happened ...you don't!!!! If you can find where you asked me if were friends when they were together please do. I don't give a rats ass that it's all out there in the open for all to see...I know the truth...your guessing! Actually it's all out there for all to see that your wrong!!!

 

If I was secretly involved with her while she was with him.....or trying to get them to breakup by painting him as a bad person....leading her on etc. etc. etc. I wouldn't of ever joined this site....because I would of come across as an...assclown....a home wrecker and would of had to deal with consequences.

[wilsonx]

Yup mike it is here for all us to see. They get to see the avoidance of the truth and the deflections. People can make their own assumptions

 

Good luck in your healing

[mike588]

Yup mike it is here for all us to see. They get to see the avoidance of the truth and the deflections. People can make their own assumptions

 

Good luck in your healing

 

Well let them assume...bring it on...I look foward to it. Ha.ha avoidance of the truth....I know the truth..you don't!

 

Good luck to you too.

[lalalandman]

Let's not forget...this is all about just a Facebook friend request.

 

So just stop a moment. If it's anything more, you'll find out.

[mike588]

Look, I didnt make an assclown of myself in this post to prove your guilty of something bad. I made an assclown of myself so that you would grow up and stop lying to yourself. You got hosed. Ive admitted that since day 1, but as long as you lie to yourself and avoid the truth and DEFLECT blame on everyone else but yourself, you are never going to let go and heal.

 

You have over 1000 posts here and never once admitted any of the things I called you out on. Come on, dont play games with me man. Like I said I respect you

 

Now, the truth is out, in the open for all to see, you were communicating with her while she was in a relationship, eh not the smartest idea.

 

Never trust someone that came out of a breakup either, they dont always tell the full truth, you trusted her with the full truth like we trusted you with the full truth

 

You say you admitted from day ONE that I got hosed.....go and re-read your post from my thread:::Goodbye Love Shack..#13...get your facts straight....I'm still waiting on your proof that my ex.and I "hung out" and were friends while "they" were together.

 

You can't because I never said that.....Ohhhh Wilson.

[wilsonx]

Wilson....yes kinda..it's tough to explain...remember. I know you want a yes or no.I'd have to say yes but barely. I'll try to expain then you can decide.

 

How is this hard to explain? Seriously? If you lie to yourself it is.

 

I was screwing around on facebook one night typing in old friends names...I typed her name in and Bam there she was....I sent her an email and we met up one day just catching up....We didn't hang out or anything after that..I believe she was out of the relationship with him...they may have been broken up. I can't recall.

 

What?? You know man I have heard the "old friend" line before. So you sent her an email and you just met up? What? You didnt hang out? You believe she was out of a relationship with him they may have been broken up? I cant recall? This was barely a year ago. Give me a break, your convincing yourself that she wasnt in a relationship at the time, this is self talk. I know the last 3 people my ex dated before me because we were "friends" I have no doubts what so ever in my mind about this. None, zero, zilch. I can even give dates and names. But you cant recall? BS

 

 

We made plans to see a movie as friends someday soon....(must of been broken up) I didn't hear from her for a month or more then she calls me and says she's back with him.....then 3 weeks later I get an email from her saying the relationship is in trouble....he's not there for her blah blah blah.

So you just met up one day and then made plans to see a movie as friends someday soon. (This tells me you had some sort of relationship with her in the past... why would you agree to be just friends... see your story doesnt make sense). This means you actually know shes in a relationship, yet you agree to hang out with her to go see a movie. Now I dont see anything wrong with going and seeing a movie as a friend, but your labeling your relationship after 1 meeting just friends, that bothers me and leaves a bad taste in my mouth, which means you are avoiding something here too.

 

This means you had contact with her for over 2 months. 2 months mike. Come on your own words

 

Shortly after that our relationship began.I'm sorry if thats to much info. on your direct question.. So yes....but no? I'll let you be the judge. Oh this is way to long!!...they had brokenup and got back together so much I didn't know when she was single or with him.

So she says, her relationship is in trouble and shortly after that your relationship with her begins. See, to me that sounds like the relationship isnt over. This is your own narrative. How do you know how many times they have broken up and gotten back together at this point, if you only met once and were just "friends". This story, DOESNT ADD UP. There's too much missing.

 

In my book, if my relationship is in trouble and some guy comes and starts dating my ex shortly there after, thats a girlfriend stealer. I am pretty sure there are other people on this forum that would definitely agree with me on this.

 

Again, I am only going off your own words.

[HeartOfAPhoenix]

Yes I chased her AFTER he walked out. 3 weeks after he walked out on her.

 

 

My ex-best friend did this to me...

 

I'm inclined to agree with wilsonx.

[M2155]

I'm missing how this changes the current dilemma:confused:

 

I think we could all agree Mike is guilty of not emotionally vetting his prospect and should have confirmed a "free-and-clear" before dating her. I see no problem with reconnecting with friends or going out with no intentions. mike's ex should have said pause if her situation was still going on, or was off-ond-on. If her words or actions are saying "chase me, i'd like to start seeing you', that's where Mike should have done due diligence to make sure she was available.

 

If Mike or anyone for that matter chased a woman that they thought was "free-and-clear" or the person is not in a committed relationship...thats not so foul. Even if you chase a married man or woman, you can be labeled a homewrecker, but it wouldn't even happen if that person you're chasing didn't want and allow it to happen.

 

At the end of the day, she still rebounded with Mike, Mike fell for her, ignored red flags, and Mike was hurt when she dumped him.

 

If he wasn't going to respond to the friend request before, he probably sure isn't now...lol:confused:

[wilsonx]

 

If Mike or anyone for that matter chased a woman that they thought was "free-and-clear" or the person is not in a committed relationship...thats not so foul. Even if you chase a married man or woman, you can be labeled a homewrecker, but it wouldn't even happen if that person you're chasing didn't want and allow it to happen.

 

 

I absolutely agree with this 100% it takes 2 to tango. They both knew what they were getting into, both of them. I understand Mike's hurt too but at the same time, he's trying to walk away from this like he has no guilt or the only thing he's guilty of is being a rebound.

 

My only issue here was the purposeful avoidance of the information that he shared. He wasn't an innocent party in this by any means, he was just as guilty as she was. She wasn't free and clear by any means. He played with fire and got burned.

[mike588]

Wilson....yes kinda..it's tough to explain...remember. I know you want a yes or no.I'd have to say yes but barely. I'll try to expain then you can decide.

 

I was screwing around on facebook one night typing in old friends names...I typed her name in and Bam there she was....I sent her an email and we met up one day just catching up....We didn't hang out or anything after that..I believe she was out of the relationship with him...they may have been broken up. I can't recall.

 

We made plans to see a movie as friends someday soon....(must of been broken up) I didn't hear from her for a month or more then she calls me and says she's back with him.....then 3 weeks later I get an email from her saying the relationship is in trouble....he's not there for her blah blah blah.

 

Shortly after that our relationship began.I'm sorry if thats to much info. on your direct question.. So yes....but no? I'll let you be the judge. Oh this is way to long!!...they had brokenup and got back together so much I didn't know when she was single or with him.

 

Wilson read.....read my words.... I clearly said:::I didn't HEAR from HER for a month or more...Didn't hear from her means.......we had NO Contact!!!! None...Nada..Zip...Zero!!!!

 

Somewhere else in here (look for it) I say::: When she told me they were back together I said ok..fine and I went and did my own thing...Where do I say or ever say we hung out or continued to comminucate???

 

You continue to put words in my mouth...why don't you just admit that you messed up...your WRONG!

[mike588]

WTF are you talking about???? I didn't steal her from him!!!!!! She contacted me when they were having problems and NEVER pushed...suggested in any way to leave him for me.I never came on to her...never implied anything.

 

After she told me they were back together I said to her ok....fine.nice talking with you and left it at that...no follow ups...no calls/texts/etc.

 

I went and did my own thing then SHE contacts me saying the relationship is failing....has failed an he was coming over to get his stuff.

 

Ahhh...Here it is. Read..After she told me they were back together I said ok...fine nice talking with you and left it at that...no follow ups...no calls/texts/etc.

 

You ask :Why would we agree to be friends....because we were already friends!

Edited January 8, 2012 by mike588

[Mcnulty]

10 pages long for a thread that said my ex wants to be friends on FB!! It's like a family bickering on here!!!

 

She contacted you after her rel was failing, then went back to him???

 

Now she wants to be your friend again??? She's taking the royal piss out of you Mike...If my ex did that I would tell her where to go.

 

Cut her loose, go NC and move on and find yourself a decent girl without all this drama in real life and online

[mike588]

10 pages long for a thread that said my ex wants to be friends on FB!! It's like a family bickering on here!!!

 

She contacted you after her rel was failing, then went back to him???

 

Now she wants to be your friend again??? She's taking the royal piss out of you Mike...If my ex did that I would tell her where to go.

 

Cut her loose, go NC and move on and find yourself a decent girl without all this drama in real life and online

 

Ha Ha Ha....your right...this has gotten waayyyyy off track and out of hand but it was interesting..

 

Good battle Wilson..I still like ya.

[stunned8165]

[

Never trust someone that came out of a breakup either, they dont always tell the full truth, you trusted her with the full truth

 

I'll agree with this. It makes me wonder how her boss that she left me for can trust her. And I'm sure with the recent contact I have had with her, and her actions, he is probably questioning her feelings for me.

 

I rattled her cage with some truth and she is still angry. Angry with herself. And who do we lash out at when we are angry?

[Mcnulty]

Maybe it's just me, I can't understand people who get dumped, there's another guy involved and they feed off breadcrumbs and stay in contact!!

 

I know it's not black and white, but my dignity told me to stop all contact 3 months ago, he chased her and he was my friend!! They're welcome to each other and I hope they rot in hell

[stunned8165]

Maybe it's just me, I can't understand people who get dumped, there's another guy involved and they feed off breadcrumbs and stay in contact!!

 

I know it's not black and white, but my dignity told me to stop all contact 3 months ago, he chased her and he was my friend!! They're welcome to each other and I hope they rot in hell

 

 

Karma. Karma will get the both of them as it will my ex and her boss.

 

Going from one relationship right into another usually doesn't work. Very low percentage. Especially when it's someone you work with.

 

Best thing people in our case should do is forget them and find someone else when the time is right.

[mike588]

[

Never trust someone that came out of a breakup either, they dont always tell the full truth, you trusted her with the full truth

 

I'll agree with this. It makes me wonder how her boss that she left me for can trust her. And I'm sure with the recent contact I have had with her, and her actions, he is probably questioning her feelings for me.

 

I rattled her cage with some truth and she is still angry. Angry with herself. And who do we lash out at when we are angry?

 

Oh yes I learned that...Never trust someone that came out of a breakup..they(I'll change don't to ..may) may not always tell the truth.

 

Yes I trusted her with the full truth..at that time I felt I had no reason not to......maybe....maybe because we had been friends long ago? She wasn't a total stranger.

[stunned8165]

Oh yes I learned that...Never trust someone that came out of a breakup..they(I'll change don't to ..may) may not always tell the truth.

 

Yes I trusted her with the full truth..at that time I felt I had no reason not to......maybe....maybe because we had been friends long ago? She wasn't a total stranger.

 

 

Bottom line, they were in a relationship. Not to be mean Mike because I know you have a big heart and meant well with her, trusted her and believed in her. Those are good qualities that you and I have but got burned for it. But I hope my case turns up the same scenerio as yours. My exes foundation with her boss who she left more for isn't a stable one. Based on lies and deciept. I'm sure this clown is going to start having trust issues with her. .. It's all a bad mix. And what concerns me is the well being of the kids. I know they aren't my kids, but my heart still goes out to them and I worry about them. Their mother isn't right!

[mike588]

Bottom line, they were in a relationship. Not to be mean Mike because I know you have a big heart and meant well with her, trusted her and believed in her. Those are good qualities that you and I have but got burned for it. But I hope my case turns up the same scenerio as yours. My exes foundation with her boss who she left more for isn't a stable one. Based on lies and deciept. I'm sure this clown is going to start having trust issues with her. .. It's all a bad mix. And what concerns me is the well being of the kids. I know they aren't my kids, but my heart still goes out to them and I worry about them. Their mother isn't right!

 

Hey..I'm not trying to be harsh with you or anyone here or to continue this argueing but..Some one please expalin to me...as some believe that they were still in a relationship and I got in the way. I'll try to make this simple:

 

Day One: She contacts me and says...The relationship is dead...it's over..he's coming over today..tomorrow and get his stuff..My response..I'm sorry to hear that..she gos on to tell me he just wasn't there for me blah blah blah.

 

Day 2: Nothing..No Contact..Nada

 

Days 3 thru 20..No contact..Nothing..Zero..

 

Day 21: She calls...Hey Mike..what's up then some small talk...Then she asks...Hey...Would you like to come over tonight for dinner and watch a movie with me.

 

Explain to me how she's in a relationship 21 days later AFTER they brokeup and HE walked out?? Yes as you said they WERE in a relationship...don't forget the key word...WERE!!

 

Maybe I should invest in a lie detector machine and "hook it up" to the next woman I meet to see if she still has feelings for her ex.?

[lalalandman]

Please let us know when something else happens beyond a Facebook request.

 

Otherwise, there are others who also have issues who are seeking guidance. Please stop bumping this thread.

[mike588]

Please let us know when something else happens beyond a Facebook request.

 

Otherwise, there are others who also have issues who are seeking guidance. Please stop bumping this thread.

 

Gotcha...I was just about to edit it and say never mind...it doesn't matter anymore. I'm done here too.

[stunned8165]

Hey..I'm not trying to be harsh with you or anyone here or to continue this argueing but..Some one please expalin to me...as some believe that they were still in a relationship and I got in the way. I'll try to make this simple:

 

Day One: She contacts me and says...The relationship is dead...it's over..he's coming over today..tomorrow and get his stuff..My response..I'm sorry to hear that..she gos on to tell me he just wasn't there for me blah blah blah.

 

Day 2: Nothing..No Contact..Nada

 

Days 3 thru 20..No contact..Nothing..Zero..

 

Day 21: She calls...Hey Mike..what's up then some small talk...Then she asks...Hey...Would you like to come over tonight for dinner and watch a movie with me.

 

Explain to me how she's in a relationship 21 days later AFTER they brokeup and HE walked out?? Yes as you said they WERE in a relationship...don't forget the key word...WERE!!

 

Maybe I should invest in a lie detector machine and "hook it up" to the next woman I meet to see if she still has feelings for her ex.?

 

 

Sorry Mike. I undertand that were done. I know what you mean. But it seems to me even though they were done, it was still a frsh breakup.

 

Isn't all so confusing?..lol We are hurt. We will heal. Some of us will take longer then others.

 

I was told by a professional that I can look forward to a year of healing based on all the mechanics of our relationship. I said "great" more good news..

 

But this will pass. And then watch, as soon as I'm 99%, she will contact me. Trust me on this. I can see it already based on the recent events. But she will only find a closed door. I made my mind up already about that.

[Surfer Girl]

Mike

 

I think if my ex wanted to be friends on face book....I would reply... Why do you want to be friends on face book? At the very least it is an open ended question that may give me the answers to the reasoning behind it.... Instead of analyzing perhaps I would have a clear picture and then be able to assess where she is at....and decide at that point if it is worth being a facebook friend.

[Mcnulty]

Stunned. Karma does NOT EXIST!!!!

 

It's luck and chance, a turn of the coin.

 

Example: My best friend got dumped by a woman who was cheating on him. the scumbag other guy knew she was in a relationship and pursued her.

 

2 years later, they're living together and have just announced their engagement....my mate is still single!!!

 

I wish it did exist, but it's just smoke and mirrors...a comfort blanket of hope for the rejected....forget about it!

[g450]

Sorry...didn't mean to shout....guess this request from her has "ratteled me" more than I though...I just want her to leave me alone!!

 

Hint: FB has an ignore option in the privacy section. Use it! Problem solved. No more drama needed. You are making a mountain out of a mowhill. Her intentions are irrelavent. If your intention is to be left alone then ignore her and do exactly that.

 

You were in fact the OM. And apparenlty she may still want you to be that still.

 

I dont have a lot of sympathy for you if that's what you are looking for here. My advice, leave her alone and leave her BF alone. He probably has no clue that she did this. You strike me as one of those people who are not happy unless there is drama in their life and your thread is testament to that I think.