The REALITY of relationships

[Eve]

Women tend to ask me "Why can't some men be faithful or settle down with one woman?" or "Why are they never satisfied and wanting something more...the next best thing?"

 

I always respond with "There are two types of men: those who can, and those who cannot"

 

You see women tend to want those men in the category of "can". And that's what they don't realize, yet it's a double edged sword.

 

If you end up with a man who CAN, then why in the world is this guy going to roll over and throw it all away to be with less than perfect you? And regardless...a man who can is less likely to feel the need to stop while he's on fire.

 

Now I would say that the men who have a high ability of can is probably 20 percent or less maybe. I'm talking about the highly desirable in terms of a woman's checklist...so let's go down that shall we!

 

Super entitled female checklist for perfect prince charming man

 

1) Good looking (gold trait)

 

If you're good looking then already your life will be much much easier than the rest of men out there. Looks get your foot in the door automatically for at least a chance, and cover for you being a complete douchebag where as if you were ugly and acted the same way you'd be turned down flat.

 

2) Tall (gold trait)

 

Every woman wants to wear heels for some reason on a dating site, even if they only do it two times out of the year. Yet they still seem to be really concerned with height. Many women will turn you down for not being in the range of 5'10 and up or taller.

 

3) Funny (gold trait)

 

If you can be funny you can probably win over a woman even if you are a little short and on the unattractive side. This is something however most men to not do well....they are either cheesy, overtly dorky and laugh at their own jokes more than anyone else is.

 

4) Money/Career (balance tipper trait)

 

This can flop all around, this might be more attractive than tall, handsome but probably can't beat funny as women like to laugh but as a whole this is definitely a game changer. If you have it the better options you'll have, because a woman sees a secure nest and comforting lifestyle for the kids you'll be raising for her. But mainly with older women who's eggs are drying up and their looking for a man to shack up with and help take care of them as their faces and boobies melt looooooooooooooow to tha floooooooooo.

 

4) Intelligence/education (supplement trait)

 

Women like men who talk about some of the deeper things in life...like what time does CSI come on tv? Even though I mean let's face it who really wants to talk to a woman about something intelligent? ok ok fine! maybe sometimes. However If you can pretend to be somewhat smart and not a total idiot it can pass for a lot, it makes them feel less stupid for being with you even if you are incompetent or a douche.

 

5) Charm/Chivarly (supplement trait)

 

I would say most guys have hard time pulling this off, and I'm not really sure why. Women are like cats, not dogs, yet men like to sprint towards them tail waving and tongue flapping, only to wonder why said woman is not embracing them with open arms.

 

 

So that's the in a nutshell list! Trust the list could go on and on forever and for many women they do.

 

But the point is...choose how many of those qualities you have out of that list for simplistic state.

 

Gold traits - obviously high value, all 3 generally required to be a CAN man under normal circumstances, however some men have learned to compensate for the height attribute, although usually within a group or setting of common interest people/town folk.

 

Balance tipper trait - This can help you greatly depending on how successful you are in life or well known. The variable is high though and may account for a lot to some women and little for others.

 

Supplement trait - most women find these traits as secondary even if they pretend they are gold, however many will NOT count them as gold without the others to back them up they are worthless in value which is why they are only supplemental at best.

 

Results:

 

(1-2) Unless you have two gold traits you are in huge trouble. And even with two, your range will be limited, you need more supplemental traits to be stronger.

 

You should target women specific to your interest.

 

 

(3) Unless you attain three gold traits here you are going to do average.

 

With three gold you have a potential to do quite well, but you'll still primarily have to work for it, unless you go for women considerably less attractive than you.

 

If you attain two supplemental traits your expectations should be below average without the balance tipper to make you appear at least safe and secure. But generally a woman will not be in love with you, they'll just like you a lot or love you in a friend kind of way.

 

(4-5) These are generally the CAN men and the small percentage who have the combination of traits that most women find themselves immediately interested in.

 

If you attain 5 your playing field pretty much opens up to anyone, anywhere. Go anywhere and you'll find yourself a woman fairly easily.

 

With 4, especially if they are all gold you will do well. If you're missing a gold ack, you may be wounded but can still inflict many casualties on the enemy soldier! So if you have 3 gold in there you're set, with one gold missing someone will likely look over you just for that quality. But you should be able to help that in many cases otherwise.

 

 

Now unfortunately from what I've been reading and just what is realistic most guys on this forum and in real life are not the CAN type of men. They don't have options, they don't have the aptitude in dating because they haven't had the privilege to gain the experience. A CAN guy gains a lot of experience quickly because they start dating young, they make all the stupid makes and do all the dumb things that turn women off in their teens and early 20's.

 

By the time a CAN man is in his late 20's, he's a refined woman eating machine. He knows exactly what to do and what not to do, probably better than average in bed as he's had more sex and much more comfortable around women because he has been around women for a long time.

 

However this is the problem for women. They think that these guys are going to turn over and give them the world...why would they? they don't need to get married, why do you buy the cow when the milk is free, and when one cows milk spoils you can just get another one?

 

Women are like "Ugh, oh bleh, so disgusting...why can't they just settle down and be good men...faithful, trusting, and committed and treat men well" because they don't HAVE to. They've got nothing to lose! So the next time you're drilling one of these "nice" guys for not having the moves or skills you should tell them, you should be happy not complaining else I'd never settle for the likes of you!

 

The problem with women is they do not look in the mirror either when choosing men.

 

Every woman are earth because their family and friends tell them;

 

- Beautiful....even if she looks like Fiona from shrek

- Entitled...to a great man that treats her like the princess she is

- Caring...because caring always make up for several layers of fat!

- Loving...I mean really? loving? because you can love a man that makes you somehow unique?

- Skinny...at least skinnier than anyone would admit, this is why you get curvy when the girl is more like wavy

 

So basically in their little world she is perfect, and therefore you the average joe should try desperately to win over her affections even If she's neglected herself, a bitch or doesn't anywhere meet a long list of qualities that a men would dream up if he turned the tables on her.

 

Closing

 

For you men out there having a hard time, don't listen to women and the bull****, the truth is written on this mighty post.

 

Don't let women guilt you into you not seeing them for who they really are and you're supposed to have this or that because in the end you deserve to be yourself as well. This whole woman entitlement thing goes way too far and it's gotten to their heads!

 

Don't take advice from women on how to date other women either, ask men that know how and know better. Women will turn you into a nice guy that will never get laid.

 

Be yourself, increase your skills and qualities with what you can, and develop a "I don't really give a ****" kinda attitude, because when you're old and grey no one is going to give a damn about anything you did right now...In fact these are probably the years you will reflect on as being your best when you were young.

 

Now...look at the bunny ---->

 

 

 

 

 

Gosh, I could have probably made the above look more presentable in a nice box etc but hey, I don't know how to do that.

 

The above is posted in the dating forum.

 

How would men and women here in happy relationships grade their partner?

 

Initially my Hubby sent me a semi unflattering video of himself. He was more concerned about the sports event (basically he got to compete against a famous Gladiator from a back in the day eighties programme) .. In the video he tripped over, came third but had a great time. He actually looked quite scruffy and didn't even look like he had combed his hair. He was a bit overweight too having been through a divorce etc. Still, I kind of liked him.... The main interest came from seeing him have such a thoroughly good time and I LOVED his smile! So, his looks were important but did not jump out at me. He had the template but was not polished.

 

Anyhow we kept talking. He then sent me an up to date photo of himself with his boys, which I still have on my vanity table. ****ing hell, talk about hot! He had lost a few pounds and actually combed his hair and brushed his teeth and looked fab!

 

Suppose I had dissed him based on his first video?

 

Anyhow, I am sure you get the point that I am trying to make.

 

Over the years he has lapsed back into somtimes looking pretty scruffy and then getting himself back together. He is very humourous and this is what I love most about him. He does not take himself seriously and 100% believes that he should be loved for who he is and the rest should be secondary.

 

Money - he was not well off at all. I did force him (he is not into DIY) to make adjustments to the home, which we eventually sold for about six times what it was bought for and I pushed him to start a business which is now successful. Previously he was not bothered about money. Always worked but earned less that me in his field. As long as the kids are alright he doesn't care about material things.

 

All in all at the point of meeting him I fell for him and his potential more than anything else.

 

So he would have got a three out of five initially.

 

. Humourous

. Charm

. Tall

 

The rest came about later but throughout our time together all of these factors have been tested to the max and it has been about our remembering and returning to the initial attraction.

 

Of course I automatically hit all five points.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[allina]

Eve, that's great and I'm happy to hear that you and your husband are so happy together.

 

However, some women don't want to have to push their men to do things or to work. I want my man to be a man, I do not want to play the role of mommy.

 

I remember this post from the dating section, and the OP is right in some ways. There are certain traits that I find desirable, as do many women, and I will not apologize for having standards.