confusedinkansas Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 why do you have such 'hatred' for betrayed spouses? i noticed in several of your posts you seem to have anger for them. i am not assuming, i am asking a question based on several remarks on this thread and another one. do you blame bs's for their spouses infidelity? I don't have any sort of 'hatred' for betrayed spouses. I don't BLAME the BS for infidelity either. But what I do notice here is that there are many who think they are blameless to the downfall of their marriage. Affairs don't just HAPPEN....(well maybe for some but for most they don't) There is something in the relationship that triggers this behavior. It's not an acceptable way to deal with issues in one's life - HOWEVER, happens all the time. I'm just saying that the BS needs to take responsibility for the DOWNFALL that lead to the behavior. Not blame for the behavior itsself. For which my husband knows & same as me, takes full responsibility for. betrayed spouse because she didn't throw him out so he would come to you? Actually - I separated this because it's the funniest question I've seen posted here directed at me. If you knew my back story......... His wife left him because she was having an affair too. She left to be with her other man. SO...my XAP was very much 'available' during the year we were having our affair. The happily ever after wasn't our "goal" - 2 very dear friends having a wonderful time together (at the time) was pretty much the goal.
drifter777 Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 ... The happily ever after wasn't our "goal" - 2 very dear friends having a wonderful time together (at the time) was pretty much the goal. Your callus disregard for the BS's on this forum is disgusting. Do you have any idea how idiotic these words sound to a BS? I understand that you cannot empathize with us BS's because you are a fWS, but could you at least sympathize with those souls who are still working to recover from a spouses cheating? You have every right to post on this forum, but I wish you would stop as the garbage you spew into these threads only confuses and frustrates real people with real problems.
donnamaybe Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 There is a vast difference between making judgements, seeing things in a different way, and creating alternate realities which don't exist. I think people who "reconcile" settle. I think they lie to themselves. The cheating spouse can do whatever, things can seem to go fine for years or maybe decades, but the minute she's not where she's supposed to be, or you see something even remotely suspicious - you remember why you feel that way, because you *know* what she's capable of. You did the very same thing right here. You are making up a scenario which may NEVER happen in some people's reconciled M's. And you didn't say you think SOME people settle...
Author nofool4u Posted February 7, 2012 Author Posted February 7, 2012 Your callus disregard for the BS's on this forum is disgusting. Do you have any idea how idiotic these words sound to a BS? I understand that you cannot empathize with us BS's because you are a fWS, but could you at least sympathize with those souls who are still working to recover from a spouses cheating? You are suppose to "get over it" and quit your whining, b!tching, and complaining. Don't you know that?
donnamaybe Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 You are suppose to "get over it" and quit your whining, b!tching, and complaining. Don't you know that? And in EVERY A situation, there was some breakdown of the M that was caused, at least in part, by the BS.
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