Is it possible?

[Rimer]

I've been wondering with all my ex faults and such I still love her more than anything and we were on the same page on so many things it makes me wonder is there another person who's the same page as me out there or is it just that one? I've only been back in the "hunt" for a week or so now. 4 months after the break up. I don't want anything serious unless I find that special someone. I'm just wondering is there such a person out there or did I mess up with that ONE. I'm still not even close of healing from the break up and over my ex I don't know if I ever will be unless I see that there's another person out there for me

[Philosoraptor]

You wont find one you are compatible with if you make any comparisons to your past. This would be a new relationship and it deserves a fresh start. There are many people out there that you could match up with if you would allow it. But you need to be fully healed and ready before you could truly approach such a thing.

 

Don't live in the past, don't live in the hurt. Life is beautiful and one must open their eyes to it.

 

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful."

- Siddhartha Gautama

[Rimer]

You wont find one you are compatible with if you make any comparisons to your past. This would be a new relationship and it deserves a fresh start. There are many people out there that you could match up with if you would allow it. But you need to be fully healed and ready before you could truly approach such a thing.

 

Don't live in the past, don't live in the hurt. Life is beautiful and one must open their eyes to it.

 

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful."

- Siddhartha Gautama

 

Hi Philo

 

Thanks again for the response. I agree with you. First I need to be totally healed or I won't be able to let a new person in without making comparisions all the time. It feels like all girls now a days are crazy partiers and always have to be going out and such never just sit around at home and watch movies and such. Are there still girls like that out there that don't need to be on the move 24/7

[Philosoraptor]

Yep, and normal girls are easier to find and in greater quantities. They are the ones buying milk at the grocery store or sitting in the waiting room while their oil is getting changed

[Rimer]

Yep, and normal girls are easier to find and in greater quantities. They are the ones buying milk at the grocery store or sitting in the waiting room while their oil is getting changed

 

I guess it's just down to approaching them then

[Philosoraptor]

I guess it's just down to approaching them then

Yep, and it all comes down to not being scared. Worst that can happen is that they have no interest and you get embarrassed. Odds are you wont see her again anyways so who cares?

 

But I'm one to intentionally embarrass myself and those around me so my advice isn't for everyone

[Exit]

Try to look at it this way, there is no such thing as "the one who got away". "The one" and "someone who got away" are two conflicting ideas. "The one" is the person who is not going to leave you, the one is the person who is going to stick with you through the good and the bad and always work through it. There is no such thing as the one who left us behind. That's a pretty big flaw to overlook. "He/she was the one, we liked the same movies, the same music, we agreed on general outlook on life, but oh, there's the minor detail that this person tore my heart out and left me behind like I meant nothing." Clearly these people are not the "ones" for us, and we should almost be grateful that they've been removed from our lives, so we can be available when the right one does come along.

 

Just keep focusing on healing. You're right, if you're still making comparisons to the past, you probably aren't 100% ready yet. I know how you feel about not wanting a party girl, I think the good people who really have a personality and can be happy without constantly being out doing something stupid are getting harder to find in our society, but they're still out there somewhere.