question on how to be at ease with yourself

[TheJiltedGeneration]

not sure if this is the right place to post, but by extention this does relate with the person I was involved with a while back....

 

 

k so new life ahead of me, though anxiety from deadlines catching up and want to get everything done early so at least it gives me a peace of mind . I ain't adjusting to the transition greatly cause I keep getting anxious, sometimes over her, sometimes, because deadlines are nearing, sometimes because I feel I ain't good enough to do what I want to do.

 

I admit in our relationship I kind of treated it as a panacea for my insecurities, be it low self esteem, and things and also a low desire to do things outside of this, and she became the center stage of everything in my life. but I need to learn to love myself.. and tbh I am finding it quite impossible....

 

losing weight, still feel my cheek on my face make me look like a bloated block of meat on top of a slim body, trying to learn japanese, can't think of the kana or making sentences because I want to get as much done as possible to move on with it, and then do some coursework. can't be asked to watch anything as it does' not make me feel rapt or that much better about myself, I am terrible in social suitations as really I feel more lonely and disconnected with the world when I am with large groups of people than without.. and most of the people in my area I am not keen with anyway. can't do coursework properly as I feel the creative writing I am doing is so labored and obviously false so I can get the piece done. and because I am incapable to do a decent amount of work, I feel like I've failed myself and the cycle goes on..

 

I am always reflecting on not just my recent break up but why all my relationships have failed up to this point ( which is never a good thing) and seem to occupy myself with that.

 

 

basically what I am asking is how do you get out of this rut and start to love yourself?. I want to believe I have good qualities , but the problem is I keep comparing myself to others like why my ex left me, could I be better than my ex at all, and how she is more intelligent than I am, so there was nothing I could offer..

 

I can see in before I can do thing effectively I really need to start to love myself.. otherwise I am just gonna get irritable..

 

starting looking the mirror and at pictures of myself ( not keen on looking at pictures of myself as they always make me look weird) and trying to think I am ok , I can love myself, starting trying relaxation techniques, but nada.. I donno how do you go about it?

 

I don't need people to rest my problems on... I guess I just want to be more autonomous in how I function... any tips?

[Philosoraptor]

Forgiveness leads to acceptance. Acceptance leads to inner peace. Inner peace leads to happiness.

 

Forgive yourself for your issues in the past and for your insecurities now. Realize that above all else loving oneself is most important and follow the path that leads to the greatest happiness. Once you've forgiven and accepted yourself the way you are that path will light up like the sun.

[immitable]

Forgiveness leads to acceptance. Acceptance leads to inner peace. Inner peace leads to happiness.

 

Forgive yourself for your issues in the past and for your insecurities now. Realize that above all else loving oneself is most important and follow the path that leads to the greatest happiness. Once you've forgiven and accepted yourself the way you are that path will light up like the sun.

 

 

I think you need to give yourself a break bc you deserved it.

 

To forgive her or not, when the time is right not just yet I think.

 

How do you get out of the rut? By simply doing things, start with things you like, treat yourself. Appreciate yourself more.

Youtube has some free meditation, affirmations and hypnosis for success.

It is easy actually, use your power you have since you've been dumped, the power is yours.

 

Cheers!