Is this really as wrong as my best friend thinks so?

[innocentbabe45]

I'm really using my older cousin's sn who gave it to me. Anyways:

 

Is it really wrong what I'm doing? I do feel kinda bad sometimes (yes I do apologize afterwards) but it's not like I'm doing it on purpose. He makes me mad sometimes.

 

Anyways I'm 17 years old and we've been dating for 2 yrs now. But see, whenever we have an argument I told him how I'm gonna break up and how he's worth nothing. I hate it when he tries to leave during an argument and when this happens, I'm like ''If you walk out on me, I might end up cheating on you or it's over, you ain't nothing without me''.

 

Another time I made him cancel his reunion with his cousin I don't like. Recently he got me sooo mad I just drove away on my car and left him there. But see my best friend then started complaining and thinks I'm being cruel for no reason. Then said how he might one day cheat on me. LOL if he ever does I'll find that other girl and fight her (esp. if she knew we were dating, if not then he'll regret ever cheating on me). Now she doesn't want to talk to me.

 

But it's not like this always happens, only sometimes and it's his fault. He knows what I don't like and still does it.

[Space Ritual]

Yes, and what you are doing is called emotional blackmail.

[Eddie Edirol]

Emotional blackmail is extremely wrong and immature, and you probably wont learn top stop doing it until a few guys leave you over it.

[innocentbabe45]

Emotional blackmail is extremely wrong and immature, and you probably wont learn top stop doing it until a few guys leave you over it.

I feel terrible sometimes but at times it's like he deserved it.

What I do admit is laughing a bit when I drove off and he kept saying if he could get in. It was that look on his face. He looked like he was begging. But ok I feel kinda bad now.

 

I don't know what's wrong with me nor why do I keep doing this? Today I kinda overreacted. We had another argument in which I grabbed his cell phone out of his hands and threw it on the floor but somehow it didn't break. Then he goes asking ''What on earth is your problem''. I got mad and said ''It's you the problem, sometimes I feel like throwing all your stuff or throwing you in a pool''.

 

I don't say why I said the throw you in a pool part but it wasn't intended. I just got mad. I don't think this is me. I used to be different when he met me and all of the sudden it's like I'm this different person when we argue (though I'm usually the one yelling).

Edited January 8, 2012 by innocentbabe45

[xpaperxcutx]

I feel terrible sometimes but at times it's like he deserved it.

What I do admit is laughing a bit when I drove off and he kept saying if he could get in. It was that look on his face. He looked like he was begging. But ok I feel kinda bad now.

 

I don't know what's wrong with me nor why do I keep doing this? Today I kinda overreacted. We had another argument in which I grabbed his cell phone out of his hands and threw it on the floor but somehow it didn't break. Then he goes asking ''What on earth is your problem''. I got mad and said ''It's you the problem, sometimes I feel like throwing all your stuff or throwing you in a pool''.

 

I don't say why I said the throw you in a pool part but it wasn't intended. I just got mad. I don't think this is me. I used to be different when he met me and all of the sudden it's like I'm this different person when we argue (though I'm usually the one yelling).

 

That's because you went from an independent girlfriend with a life to a controlling and demanding one.

 

This relationship has run it's course. Your actions will drive him away if you do not change.

[innocentbabe45]

That's because you went from an independent girlfriend with a life to a controlling and demanding one.

 

This relationship has run it's course. Your actions will drive him away if you do not change.

But I still love him and didn't mean it. To be honest I had no idea I had a controlling personality. But he did get a bit concerned asking if I would really throw him in a pool. Again I end up apologizing. I really didn't mean it.

 

I'm trying to figure out where is this all coming from. I was never like this to anyone before.

[WiltingReese]

This sounds like the signs of a controlling, abusive person. The OP displays all the descriptions of the loser which being manipulative, controlling and breaking his/her partner's personal belongings (throwing his cell phone).

 

I hope the OP's bf gets away from her and she gets help because this isn't normal. Isn't this what people would say to a woman with a controlling man doing the same thing the OP is? I don't want to sound negative but I would be scared if a guy broke any of my belongings and made a verbal threat about throwing me in a pool.

Edited January 8, 2012 by WiltingReese

[Eddie Edirol]

But I still love him and didn't mean it. To be honest I had no idea I had a controlling personality. But he did get a bit concerned asking if I would really throw him in a pool. Again I end up apologizing. I really didn't mean it.

 

I'm trying to figure out where is this all coming from. I was never like this to anyone before.

 

You do it because he lets you, and youre getting a rush from the anger. No one is shutting you down when you do this, and you cant seem to control yourself, so unless you control yourself, it will take another guy that wont put up with it to convince you to cut the shyt.

[Space Ritual]

May I ask if you have had family members or parents that withheld love in any way from you as a substitute of actual discipline as a child? Reason I ask is that you being still very young I wonder if this is not something that you have learned to be acceptable behavior....I may be way offbase and apologise if I am as we can only give advice based on what the Original Poster writes

[Untouchable_Fire]

I don't know what's wrong with me nor why do I keep doing this? Today I kinda overreacted. We had another argument in which I grabbed his cell phone out of his hands and threw it on the floor but somehow it didn't break. Then he goes asking ''What on earth is your problem''. I got mad and said ''It's you the problem, sometimes I feel like throwing all your stuff or throwing you in a pool''.

I don't say why I said the throw you in a pool part but it wasn't intended. I just got mad. I don't think this is me. I used to be different when he met me and all of the sudden it's like I'm this different person when we argue (though I'm usually the one yelling).

 

This is abusive and nasty behavior. I promise you he doesn't "deserve it". You are just being a jerk.

 

You have to have learned this crap from somewhere. What the hell is your homelife like? Do you have parents?

 

Bottom line is that if you keep acting like this.... nobody will ever love you.

[Professor X]

Sounds like you have some anger management issues, have you ever sought therapy? I mean, you sound like you lose yourself in the rage.

 

By the way, one day he will have enough and he will leave you, just for the record.

[innocentbabe45]

May I ask if you have had family members or parents that withheld love in any way from you as a substitute of actual discipline as a child?

Not really, don't really recalled. BTW by saying actual discipline you mean spanking?

[innocentbabe45]

You have to have learned this crap from somewhere. What the hell is your homelife like? Do you have parents?

I don't know, that's what I'm wondering. All I can think about is the crib incidence but being only 3 I don't remembered anything. This is when my father (was told he was very drunk that day) got in trouble for hitting my mother and I was told I wouldn't stop crying for more than an hour. All I know is he got in trouble that day, had to take classes and was remorseful. Other that that single incident, I never saw anything unsual.

 

I also heard both my aunt and grandmother used to get spanked by their husbands just for talking back or if they dare verbally challenge them but they still think that was normal.

[Space Ritual]

Not really, don't really recalled. BTW by saying actual discipline you mean spanking?

 

no, not entirely. I mean by perhaps leaving you as a child and walking away from you if you misbehaved in public. Or withdrawing from you as opposed to corporal punishment.

 

Reason I say this is that when I was a kid my parents had a very skewed vision of parenting. My mother was a terrible alcoholic whom would hit me in the face or on the head with a Gin bottle when I misbehaved. My father was totally the opposite but no less brutal. He was an avoider and was known to abandon me in public places if I misbehaved and by that I mean by that he would physically leave me as a child to fend for myself and drive off and act like he just forgot about me.

 

I grew up thinking this behavior was normal on the part of all parents and it screwed me up terribly as an earkly adult to where I thought either violence or abandonment were the avenues of normal dispute resolution.

[diskostu]

I feel terrible sometimes but at times it's like he deserved it.

What I do admit is laughing a bit when I drove off and he kept saying if he could get in. It was that look on his face. He looked like he was begging. But ok I feel kinda bad now.

 

I don't know what's wrong with me nor why do I keep doing this? Today I kinda overreacted. We had another argument in which I grabbed his cell phone out of his hands and threw it on the floor but somehow it didn't break. Then he goes asking ''What on earth is your problem''. I got mad and said ''It's you the problem, sometimes I feel like throwing all your stuff or throwing you in a pool''.

 

I don't say why I said the throw you in a pool part but it wasn't intended. I just got mad. I don't think this is me. I used to be different when he met me and all of the sudden it's like I'm this different person when we argue (though I'm usually the one yelling).

 

not sure if serious or trolling. if you're serious you have some issues and this relationship isn't healthy. it will not work in the long term.

 

you also sound like an immature brat who needs a real man to reign in your little tantrums.

[innocentbabe45]

no, not entirely. I mean by perhaps leaving you as a child and walking away from you if you misbehaved in public. Or withdrawing from you as opposed to corporal punishment.

No they were old-school on this. I did get it when doing something wrong. There was no such thing as grounding nor time-out, just plain corporal punishment.

[innocentbabe45]

not sure if serious or trolling. if you're serious you have some issues and this relationship isn't healthy. it will not work in the long term.

I'm dead serious. I started changing after the 7th month of our relationship.

[innocentbabe45]

Sounds like you have some anger management issues, have you ever sought therapy?

No I haven't. I'm not sure which counselor or therapist I can trust without he/she informing it to my parents or family members. They don't even know my bf (they are let's just say into the puritanical crap about walking me down the aisle when the so called ''time'' comes). I don't even work either so if it's not free, I may need to burrow from a friend.