Talk some sense into me!

[SimplyIzzy2010]

So I was talking to this guy since last January. Specifically, this guy:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3297198#post3297198

 

Since January he was very touchy feely when we were together in person, but when I left (I go to a university 30 minutes from his) I didn't hear from him EVER, unless I texted.

 

Fast forward to October of 2011. We were still talking, not really defining what we were, because every time I brought it up he said he wasn't ready for a relationship. One time he actually said he just didn't like me as much as I liked him. That hurt, so I stopped talking to him. He started to text me stuff like "I miss you" and then, October, he texted me saying that he needed to talk to me, that he had just realized that he didn;t want to miss out on something great, that I was great, and that I should come talk to him at his birthday get together. So I did. During our talk, he startd to say "you're a really good friend" and I was just like... are you kidding me? But i was okay with that. The only reason I had gone to talk to him is because I wanted to clear the waters. I didn't want to play games anymore! Either he wanted to be with me or not, and I wanted to know definitively. So when he said that I was like, okay, if that's what you want, okay. And he was like, i'm sorry, don't be mad, and I said, "no I'm not mad, it's whatever. It doesn't matter. It's whatever. I'm going to go now. Can I have my keys back?" I was starting to walk away and he was like wait! I've just been burned before. Truth is that I'm scared. Why do you even want to be with me? I told him I liked him, that's why. And he said that he liked me too, and he finally asked me to be his girlfriend! I was really happy.

 

Now I'm here, because he broke up with me ONE MONTH after that. Two months ago from today. We were doing FINE except for the issue that if I wasn't around him in person, I would NEVER hear from him. I wrecked my car in the middle of the relationship, which meant it was up to HIM to come visit me, and he did, ONCE. And then, the first week of November, we decided to ride home together. He picked me up, we had a good ride home, talked about the future, what we want from life. He was very affectionate and also took me out to dinner with his mom that night.There were NO signs of anything weird, dinner with is mom went great. After he dropped me off, he went off to hang out with old friends. I started digging through old photographs, and found one of him and I in high school. I sent him it with the caption "Hahaha! Remember this?"

 

He responded with "I think we should break up"

 

I asked him to at LEAST call me and tell me. I was really upset that he did it through text. He said he'd been thinking about it, he was dreading the ride home with me, and that the truth was that he saw that my feelings for him were going to grow, but that his for me just weren't going to. AT ALL. So it was better to end it now. I just kept asking how he knew they weren't going to grow. All he said was "I'd rather end this now and lose a week of sleep thann end it later and lose a year of sleep, I've already been through that." I said, okay. okay. He said, hey, I understand that you probably hate me now but text me whenever you want." all I did was laugh at that, and say good bye.

 

I haven't talked to him since.

 

I miss him SO much. So much. We only dated a month, but we'd been talking for a year... and the naive part of me wants to believe that he broke it off because he got scared.

 

I want to text him so bad, but if I do I will feel pathetic.

I keep telling myself that he hasn't tried to contact me because he thinks I hate him, and I laughed at his texting suggestion.

 

I keep thinking that he hasn't texted because he's waiting for me to finally text him.

 

I'm just very confused, and honestly? Really heartbroken. I really miss him. Sometimes I'm just so overwhelmed and want to text him I miss you. Is this stupid of me? Please talk some sense into me. Please. Because I feel like I'm about to snap.

[Eddie Edirol]

No, dont text him. He was never scared. He was never into you at all, which is why he never initiated contact with you. He never wanted anything serious, he just told you what he needed to get what he wanted. When you were about to walk away, thats when he told asked you to be his gf, because he didnt have anything else on the horizon, but he didnt like you much at all. Every thing he did spells that out. He also broke up with you because he had enough morals to keep you from falling for him 100%. He doesnt care if you hate him or not, right now he is probably working on some other women, he knows that if he texts you one of two things will happen.

 

1.) You answer, you fall for him again, and he'll have to dump you after he cant stand being with you

2.) You dont answer because you dont want to be toyed with.

 

How does he know his feelings wont grow? Well there could be a number of reasons, but theres no need for him to tell you and risk you developing self esteem issues. Its probably more of his preferences than there being anything wrong with you. It sucks to be used, but let this be a lesson to you. If you want a serious relationship, watch for these very red flags that he showed you, but ignored. You can tell that a guy isnt really into you just from what this guy did. Dont ignore your preferences just to avoid being alone.

[BoredAgain]

I'm sorry about your situation. I know it really sucks when you're deep in the infatuation phase of a relationship when you get dumped. It's a terrible feeling, but I'm going to be straight with you here: Either this guy is emotional wreck... in which case he doesn't need a GF, he needs a therapist. Or he's just a piece of s--t that is trying to manipulate and use you. Based on your story, I'm leaning toward option B.

 

So don't text him. People almost always regret breaking NC before they're healed. If you text him "I miss you," then you almost certainly wont get the response you're hoping for which will lead to disappointment and hurt feelings. But even if he did respond with, "I miss you too, let's get back together" this guy's track record is so poor that he's obviously just going to hurt you again.

 

Stick with NC. I know it sucks, but it always gets better with time.