yongyong Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 I've lived in states long enough to understand the dating culture. but I don't understand this part. so I met several women from online dating. During conversation, I asked them what their plans were for the weekends. some of them said 'oh I have a date this weekend' 'oh I have 2 dates this weekend' We all know that we are going to meet multiple people to compare. But isn't it disrespectful to say that to someone's face? I also had this woman who said she was dating someone. I asked her then why she came out to meet me. she sounded like there was nothing wrong SAYING that to me I acted naive and told her I didn't understand American culture. Bottom line, when I go out on a date from online dating. Is it OK for me to say 'I have 2 chicks lined up for this weekend, I am also dating someone but it's not serious' Link to post Share on other sites
turt Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 People tend to say things they wouldn't in real life online. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yongyong Posted January 8, 2012 Author Share Posted January 8, 2012 No I met them in person People tend to say things they wouldn't in real life online. Link to post Share on other sites
Lobouspo Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 The reality of OLD is alot of the people are multi-daters/serial daters. Its certainly ok to keep your options open and meet other people, but it is a bit tacky IMO to tell people you meet about all your dates that week. Met a nice enough girl online who i had a good time with tell me about her date the night before and the one the next night after me. Was a total turnoff ...didn't even bother pursuing her. Link to post Share on other sites
Casablanca Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 That is very odd. I had a date with someone last night who I met at a new years party, but I'm also talking with someone I met online and we talked about our weekend plans. I just said I was meeting up with friends last night. So it is a lie, though I did meet up with someone who is a friend, but the intentions are very different. I wouldnt do this ever, so I find it weird that they said this to you...perhaps being online has empowered them to be so bold? Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 You don't owe anyone an explanation. Just say you are busy or have plans. Link to post Share on other sites
turt Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 That's pretty strange but maybe they assume you do the same? Link to post Share on other sites
Author yongyong Posted January 13, 2012 Author Share Posted January 13, 2012 I need women's opinion. I met this great girl last Fri. We had a great time. everything clicked well. (I know when women is not interested) we set up the date for following Fri. Now she doesn't respond to my txts. I wish she at least makes some excuses. maybe she changed her mind or met a better guy? What should I do from now on? Should I wait like a week and txt her like nothing happened? (hey how was your weekend?) Link to post Share on other sites
txalpiner Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 So are you saying you would rather people lie and claim they have a family get together, work, going to be sick or whatever? Geez people, you are involved with dating sites to meet people... not one person... "people", as in plural. It is not good practice to attempt to build a relationship with the first person you meet! Date lots of people, so that you can decide what characteristics are of the most importance to you.... and tell the friggin' truth. A person who appears to be only focused on you isn't particularly attractive, and seems "needy". Don't go down that path. Be honest, and only commit to exclusivity when both parties are truly ready! Link to post Share on other sites
robinatrix Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 I went on a couple of dates from online where the guy told me he was meeting other girls, or pursuing other girls right in front of me. One even logged on and showed me all the "hot chicks" that had refused his friend request. Don't bother with these people. If they start mentioning this kind of stuff IMO they're not that interested. I mean, if I saw a guy I really liked, I wouldn't tell him I'm seeing say 3 others. I'm assuming it's likewise for him... The girl who didn't text you back could just be 'comparison shopping'. Can't say I didn't do that myself, though I've never told anyone I was talking to other people online.. Link to post Share on other sites
Susaluda Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 I think if you asked her what she's doing this weekend and she tells you that she's going on other dates, then that's fine, but it's a whole different story if she talks about the dates beyond that. Personally if I were going on dates with multiple guys, I wouldn't tell the others unless they asked. I would simply pick a different part of my weekend to tell them about if they asked me "what have you been up to this weekend?" Link to post Share on other sites
missyme04 Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 I'm starting with Online dating now and I'm happy that a lot of guys are friendly but there's also many who are so aggressive. hehehe. If I'm on you situation yongyong, I wouldnt mind the girls who's telling that they have a loooooooot of dates, etc. those kind of women don't deserve your time. pick someone who's willing to give you her time alone and not with other guys 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lavrine Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 I think you should be truthful to her, 'I have 2 chicks lined up for this weekend, I am also dating someone but it's not serious' - you do can say like this, this means that she didn't get any perfect prince charming of her life, so while agreeing with her, she definitely get a feeling that you are really something to her who is going through same like her. The other point is she is showing that she is pretty busy girl with high demand, with an attitude like "can you still catch me?" OK, let her go to date (single/series/multiple anything) do discuss about the date after.. discuss about how he treated you, discuss about how usual boys are.. so she may feel you are caring her, & do limit your chat after that date fever for her, 'm sure she will come to you first... This is the common nature of girls dude... go slow and steady, you can have the girl like you wanted. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 I think it is perfectly fine and even advisable to tell someone you have other plans... or that you are dating other people. My biggest problem with 'multidaters' is their don't ask don't tell policy. They lie about their lives instead of just telling you they have other dates. I'm not stupid. I can tell they are lying, which makes me not want to trust them. No trust = no intimacy = no fun. At what magical point do the lies stop and the truth starts?? For alot of the people, it is after they've attempted to have unprotected sex with you and however many other people they are seeing. If you don't want that to happen to you, then yea, ask for and deal with honesty up front. There is nothing to be gained by accepting a lie or liars. Link to post Share on other sites
hotloader Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 I've lived in states long enough to understand the dating culture. but I don't understand this part. so I met several women from online dating. During conversation, I asked them what their plans were for the weekends. some of them said 'oh I have a date this weekend' 'oh I have 2 dates this weekend' We all know that we are going to meet multiple people to compare. But isn't it disrespectful to say that to someone's face? I also had this woman who said she was dating someone. I asked her then why she came out to meet me. she sounded like there was nothing wrong SAYING that to me I acted naive and told her I didn't understand American culture. Bottom line, when I go out on a date from online dating. Is it OK for me to say 'I have 2 chicks lined up for this weekend, I am also dating someone but it's not serious' Welcome to what's left of this country called North America. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yongyong Posted April 8, 2012 Author Share Posted April 8, 2012 When you are frustrated with online dating, the solution is 'not giving a f cuk' If you are relying on just online dating to find someone, you will get frustrated so often (this chick stopped talking, this chick looked at my profile but didn't reply, this chick flaked out on a date. As you know those things Will happen) For guys, if you hit on women anywhere you can, it will solve your problem. Basically, you are not putting all your eggs in one basket. this girl from match flaked on you so what? go out hit on hotter chick at grocery store, bars, coffee shops, yoga studios you will feel better if you do it as an option. Link to post Share on other sites
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