Author budisudaryo Posted January 10, 2012 Author Share Posted January 10, 2012 Anyway, I've decided to leave things be and not talk about this except if she mentions it. Link to post Share on other sites
fiat500 Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Call me a douche if you want but I know some cases (dating an ex's friend) where it ended up okay between all the parties when the ex was already moved on. That doesn't make sense, girl. So a guy is supposed to go home after a date with his gf? He must reject his friends' invitation? "Sorry guys, but I just have a date with my gf so I have to go home." Wow, sounds weird. I know PMS was probably beyond her control and it's not one of the main problems I had with her. I shouldn't have mentioned it. It's just that I felt suffocated enough that I couldn't tolerate her PMS. And it's really severe, I know girls whose PMS is not too severe and can control it a bit. dude, you just lost feelings for her. We get it. You spend most of this thread ripping her apart because of her "PMS." Which is hilarious. Want to put her on the chopping block some more? Maybe she didn't wear her hair to your liking on some days or her face didn't look right sometimes which all contributed to the breakup. I disagree with posters on here saying to not apologize only because YOU ARE IN CONTACT WITH HER already. And you have a lot of nerve to play nice and civil around her when an apology is the right thing to do despite how nice and civil she plays around you. But whatever. She doesn't sound too bright for even pretending to be friends with you when she still feels bitter about things. Link to post Share on other sites
Author budisudaryo Posted January 11, 2012 Author Share Posted January 11, 2012 (edited) dude, you just lost feelings for her. We get it. You spend most of this thread ripping her apart because of her "PMS." Which is hilarious. Want to put her on the chopping block some more? Maybe she didn't wear her hair to your liking on some days or her face didn't look right sometimes which all contributed to the breakup. I disagree with posters on here saying to not apologize only because YOU ARE IN CONTACT WITH HER already. And you have a lot of nerve to play nice and civil around her when an apology is the right thing to do despite how nice and civil she plays around you. But whatever. She doesn't sound too bright for even pretending to be friends with you when she still feels bitter about things. dude, if you read this thread closely you would notice that I only mentioned PMS once. and yeah, of course I lost my feelings for her. I was just trying to discover the cause and I concluded it's her possessiveness/neediness. I shouldn't have mentioned the PMS. and I still can't find a strong enough reason to apologize. without a clear reason, it'll seem tacky. and I have to repeat, I've made it clear to her that we should see each other as friends only and she agreed. and 90% of the time it's her that initiate contact. and I always try to keep the convos casual. I also don't sense any form of flirting or whatnot from her. anyway from now on I'll not initiate contact whatsoever, just to be safe. Edited January 11, 2012 by budisudaryo Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeless_1116 Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 (edited) and I have to repeat, I've made it clear to her that we should see each other as friends only and she agreed. and 90% of the time it's her that initiate contact. and I always try to keep the convos casual. I also don't sense any form of flirting or whatnot from her. anyway from now on I'll not initiate contact whatsoever, just to be safe. If you have remorse for something, it's always a good thing to express it. I'm sure your ex would appreciate an apology. It will also give you peace. If you disappear again without a word you will in essence do exactly what you did to her before, as you've indicated that you would like to be friends. If you do think it's best to cut communication, do so with an apology for the past and tell her that in order for both of you to move on, you think it's best to cut all ties. Please don't put her through more pain. I would apologize and tell her why she won't be hearing from you anymore. My ex and I tried the friends thing. Even though I still have feelings and believe I always will, 6 months post-breakup I was able to finally feel like I could be friends with him. That was until he started flirting with me and being suggestive and playful, but he maintained all he wants is friendship so I asked him to stop. In spite of my telling him to stop as it made me uncomfortable, he continued to send mixed messages. It seems that when a man is really done (like in your case) he would be mature enough to keep the conversation on a purely friendship level (as you have). I can't help but wonder if it's some sort of revenge tactic now that I've read your posts, because a decent human being who already hurt someone enough is going to be smart enough not to go there. I commend you for being straight with your ex and respecting those boundaries, but walk away gracefully. Edited January 11, 2012 by Hopeless_1116 Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 (edited) Now, for the apology part....if you have remorse for something, it's always a good thing to express it. I'm sure your ex would appreciate an apology. It will also give you peace. If you disappear again without a word you will in essence do exactly what you did to her before, as you've indicated that you would like to be friends. If you do think it's best to cut communication, do so with an apology for the past and tell her that in order for both of you to move on, you think it's best to cut all ties. Please don't put her through more pain. I would apologize and tell her why she won't be hearing from you anymore. i second this. if your ex is the one initiating contact 90% of the time then it's highly possible there are still feelings on her end. feelings that are only going to grow ; each time you respond. yes - - you can stress to her you want nothing more than friendship. but people can't always separate out fact from feelings. so i agree with Hopeless - - if you don't want to lead her on; make your apologies and then cut her off. it sounds mean and i know it goes against what i said in my earlier post, but that was before i knew she was the one initiating contact the majority of the time. Edited January 11, 2012 by radiodarcy Link to post Share on other sites
reimeivn Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I think the way you breakup with her speaks volume about what kind of person you are, especially when you dated a friend of her afterward. The one thing you don't do is just that, dating her friend, and you already did. I would even say that you do not even hang around in her friend circle anymore. You broke up with her you don't get to have her friends. I think you were selfish and very immature, and you still are. There is this one thing you need to know: you hurt her like that, you will always mean hurt to her. She can talk to you later in life, but you mean the same thing. I think you lost the chance to say sorry. You should disappear and maybe 2 3 years down the road send her an apology letter when she is strong enough to not feel disturbed. also you fall out of love with her, that's fine, people grow apart and learn to love different things. Don't blame it on her neediness, when you are a girl and the boy means the air to you, you can't hide it. People talk too much about girl possesiveness, but rarely talk about boy not being able to meet their girl needs and understand that's it's part of their personalities at this stage in life. Link to post Share on other sites
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