jmy33 Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 I'll admit that i have broken NC a few times, but it's because i still care so much about her. She however, has also broke it a few times too. When she breaks it though, we seem to have a normal conversation for a few minutes and then she will just stop out of nowhere. If we are texting she will just stop responding, and if we are on the phone she will say she has to go and we cant talk anymore. It's like she is just toying with me or something and wants to keep me interested in her. She always says she is over it and i need to just leave her alone and let it go. I dont understand though. We dated for 2 years, and have been broken up for 3 months. We havent talked in about a week now and im worried that she will break NC again and it will be another major setback. So my question is, what do i do if she does contact me? I still have very strong feelings for her. Do i talk back? Do i ignore her? Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Ignore her. She is selfishly calling you becasue she is curious about what you are up to, and if you are still pining after her. Once it hits her why she lost her attraction to you, she wants to get off the phone. Or, she is seeing someone new and he calls her. She is probably calling you because whoever else is in her life, man or otherwise is leaving her wanting more. SO what you need to do is i9gnore her. Most dumper women dont move backwards, so she most likely isnt going to be attracted to you again, so theres no point in talking to her. Link to post Share on other sites
chelsea2011 Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 (edited) The way you feel when she breaks NC is precisely why I won't break it. I did once at the beginning of December to wish him a happy b-day, but I really tortured myself beforehand because I didn't want to put him through what your going through. I kept going back and forth as to whether I should or not and ended up breaking it. He seemed genuinely happy that I did and we exchanged texts for a few days. I didn't want him to think he wasn't in my thoughts...he most certainly was, as always. I really struggled with it hard because I didn't want him to think I was playing games or trying to toy with his emotions. I definitely was not at all; my intentions were purely genuine. After our few exchanges, I went back to letting him initiate if wanted and it's been NC ever since. I won't contact him out of fear he will feel like you are right now. I care about him and want to respect his right to peace and space if that's what he wants and needs. I will say this though; if I didn't care, I would be breaking NC every week or two to make sure he didn't forget about me. That would be horribly wrong and selfish of me. It's up to him if we wants to remember me or not. The funny thing is, we never actually discussed going NC; it just kind of happened. That is what I'm going by right now, so I will stick to NC. However, my situation is a little different. Let's just say its not your typical scenario. Edited January 8, 2012 by chelsea2011 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jmy33 Posted January 8, 2012 Author Share Posted January 8, 2012 The last time we did talk was after i ran into her. I was out with my friends and she was with hers. When i saw her, i waved and said hello she did the same. That was it. Later that night, she called me and asked me why i didnt come and talk to her more, and why i didnt start a conversation. I told her that it was still hard for me and that i didnt want to be setback anymore. Part of me really wants her to come back, but part of me says if she does want to get back together, dont take her. I guess that is a sign of getting better? That i am starting to question if i would take her back or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Chs Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 The last time we did talk was after i ran into her. I was out with my friends and she was with hers. When i saw her, i waved and said hello she did the same. That was it. Later that night, she called me and asked me why i didnt come and talk to her more, and why i didnt start a conversation. I told her that it was still hard for me and that i didnt want to be setback anymore. Part of me really wants her to come back, but part of me says if she does want to get back together, dont take her. I guess that is a sign of getting better? That i am starting to question if i would take her back or not. She is just keeping track of you. I was in that situation, saw my ex at the club and she just smiled and we moved past each other. Few hours later she comes over to hug me and talk about her christmas presents and stuff, we talked for a while until she went back to her friends. When i got home very late she texted me and i started thinking maybe i could get her back. But a week later she was suddenly in a new relationship with a guy she had been talking to the last month. So it meant NOTHING that she came up to me, she just geniunly wanted to hear how i was and then move on with her current situation. It might be a sign you are moving on that you are questioning if you want her back, but the most important part of your healing, the same part i am on is you have to learn not to care if she will contact you. I keep thinking "what will i do if she contacts me, i wonder if she will contact me" i know that i will never ever text her again, but i still kind of hope she will hit me up. This is a clear sign to me that i am not over her, and it's the number one priority for me to stop caring about it. Link to post Share on other sites
chelsea2011 Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 The last time we did talk was after i ran into her. I was out with my friends and she was with hers. When i saw her, i waved and said hello she did the same. That was it. Later that night, she called me and asked me why i didnt come and talk to her more, and why i didnt start a conversation. I told her that it was still hard for me and that i didnt want to be setback anymore. Part of me really wants her to come back, but part of me says if she does want to get back together, dont take her. I guess that is a sign of getting better? That i am starting to question if i would take her back or not. Sounds like a good sign to me. Stay strong and keep taking care of YOU. That is all that is important right now. I have those thoughts too, right along with all of the others that are swirling around in my mind. It definitely feels like I'm getting better though. Link to post Share on other sites
chelsea2011 Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 I forgot to add that if she is making you feel this way when she breaks NC, definitely ignore her. And if she gets persistant, tell her to respect your right to heal and to please stop contacting you for now. Say you will let her know when you are ready, if at all. Link to post Share on other sites
BoredAgain Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 jmy33 - Ignore. Ignore Ignore. Maybe she's trying to keep you on the back-burner or maybe she's trying to quench her own curiosity about your life... either way, once she gets what she wants, she ends the conversation. But the simple fact that your Ex spontaneously contacts you then abruptly disappears means that she's doing it for her own selfish reasons. Don't play into this game! She's using you to help herself move forward, at the expense of your own well being. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jmy33 Posted January 9, 2012 Author Share Posted January 9, 2012 I guess I really just want her to know how I feel. I want her to know that I really did love her, and that I meant everything I said about being with her. I want her to know that it was real for me, even if it wasn't for her. And (not in a mean way) I guess I want her to feel the same way I do. I'm trying to be as selfless as possible, but its hard when you still want something more.. Link to post Share on other sites
Chs Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I know, i know. I can relate so much to how you feel because it's just how i feel too. I have been sitting here listening to my gathering of emotional songs for the whole night, i typed out a long message in word that i was intending to send as a letter when our would have been anniversary is comming up soon. In it i explained how much she meant to me, and how i truly truly loved her. But you know, after thinking hard about it i KNOW i won't like the reaction. To her it will just be too emotional man, you broke up and she hasn't come back to you. This DOES mean the emotions are gone, maybe not completely but she just doesen't like you that way any more. All it will do to let her know is hurt her or make her angry, maybe she won't even care too much. Do as me maybe, try letting all your emotions and things you want to tell her out on text, but don't send it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jmy33 Posted January 9, 2012 Author Share Posted January 9, 2012 Thanks for the help guys. I guess its just hard to say goodbye when you know that its over.. Link to post Share on other sites
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