need advice on sex and marriage

[kris28]

i'm 28 and my wife is 25 we were have sex like rabbits and then 2 kids later and 6 years i get the roll over and the argument when i try to get it. she goes out and doen't come home till sun up. she works alot but she still finds time to do other things she likes so whats the deal???? she is like a whore in the sack when she's drunk she can't get enough , she always says it's not you it's me but when i do get it which was like a month and a half ago it was liek having sex with a dead fish.

i do everything i tell her she looks nice, and everything, and this isn't like the others who write in i'm a clean freak my wife does nothing i wash clothes take care of our kids i work, cook laundry the works, she sitts on the couch whan she gets home and sleeps. then in the bedroom i get the roll over. i grew up in a bad home and i am one of the few who didn't pass it on in adult hood i treat her like gold and this is what i get i feel like my life is misrable and i have repeated my childhood....... what should i do?????

[Moose]

Kris28,

What you are going through is perfectly normal. Sounds to me she's stuck in a routine and needs some changes in her life, BUT!!!!, I wouldn't put up with having to do all that you do. Maybe you should let the place fall apart. I also wouldn't let her go out and come back at sun up. Sounds to me that she's up to something there. If my wife left in the middle of the night I would lock the door and leave a note tellin her she left, don't come back!!

 

Women are funny, their sex drive is constantly changing, us men are horny all the time. This is something you're gonna have to live with, so I'd get used to it if I were you. It also sound to me that you're letting her wear the pants in the family. I would get a grip on that as well. I'm not saying to slap her down and tell her, "I'm King in this house, you will do what I say", I mean, get some control over her, don't let her leave and stay out all night, or letting her sit on her ass on the couch and watch you do all the work.

 

Marriage isn't 50/50, it's 100/100, and sounds like you're giving it all and she's not even trying. That's just my opinion.

 

Good Luck

Moose

[kris28]

Well i would say she does wear the pants but i get to pick the color, and as for the going out she throws this crap in my face all the time about going out. I'm not the bar going out to clubs guy, i'm content sitting at home watching a movie, or going to dinner and a movie, friends, places a group of friends playing cards stuff like that but thats a crime to her, we have never been to the movies. she thinks haveing a good time is at the bar and at clubs. and i feel bad for me being the guy who doesn't like the bar scene so i let her go out.the only time i go to the movies is i take the kids to see kids movies, she sits at home. and as for getting use to the no sex well i have realized after all i have read threw magazines and internet that this happens but were both in our twenties were suppose to be in our prime right or atleast still doing it like normal folk, i guess you guys no where i'm coming from when i say this is killing me huh..lol.....i can't even watch a porn movie with her i look over and she's sleeping within the first 5 min... and that ain't a joke.

i think i'm just to the point where this is getting worse and i think i deserve better. the only reason why i won't leave is out of love for my kids and me being afraid my kids will have a really bad life growing up like i did. ....................................................all i have to say i to all you females if it ain't us and it's you why do you treat us like crap and ignore us get help if not for us for yourselves.

[FreeMe]

Originally posted by kris28

she is like a whore in the sack when she's drunk she can't get enough

 

That's a disgusting thing to say about your wife.

 

You may think you treat her like gold, but that sounds like a lack of respect to me.

 

But let's say I take your word that you treat her like gold.

 

I don't have any children myself, but I've heard that women can lose their sex drive after having them, or even experience pain during intercourse. I don't know how doctors deal with it. I expect not very well, but perhaps she should see a doctor.

 

She may be tired - you said she'll be asleep within 5 minutes. Having two kids is tiring. Most people don't know this, but men have more energy than women - it's another benefit of having more testosterone in your systems. In general, men have more energy so while you may be able to watch the kids and play with them and see to their needs and not be tired, she may do the same and be exhausted.

 

She got married young - maybe she's lost her attraction to you. If that's happened, it's probably temporary. You have to figure out what it is that will get her in the mood. It may be different from what used to get her in the mood.