2 Months Pregnant and on the verge of going CRAZY!

[Kanika]

I am in desperate need of some advice/tips on how to deal with my current living arrangement before I go insane. I am living with my boyfriend and his brother (we all pay 1/3 of the rent and bills). Well about 2 months ago (about the same time I got pregnant) his brother decided to get a girlfriend - who is over ALL THE TIME. Now, his brother works out of town so sometimes he only comes home on weekends. However, ever since he met this girl, she has been here EVERY night/day he has. She doesn't pay rent - she uses my stuff - I have to clean up after them - do their dishes - I have to listen to them have sex - I'm going freaking crazy!!! Not to mention the hormones aren't helping, lol! And well, I can be a pretty big b*tch.

 

I've talked to my boyfriend about it all...who is on my side for the most part. I've yelled at his brother about it...which wasn't good for me or anyone...I'm just at a loss of what to do now. His brother has no consideration for us at all and I am gonna frankly lose my s*** soon. I no longer keep a thing of mine in the bathroom because his gf helps herself to my shampoo, conditioner, hair products, hair dryer, straightener...you name it she uses it. He denied it, but I am a neat freak, and perfectly aligned things, and in a way booby tapped them so I KNOW if someone touches it - and she did - many, many times so it is now to the point where I have it all in our bedroom. Which makes me extremely angry - I live here, I pay rent, I'm freaking pregnant for gods sake - but I don't feel like I can keep anything of mine in there anymore. Did I mention her stuff is in the shower? (which aggravates me as well....i don't think she should have a place for her stuff in the shower - SHE DOESN'T LIVE HERE).

 

So what am I supposed to do? My boyfriend is to the point where he just gets mad when I say anything about his brother/his brother's gf to him anymore cause he's sick of hearing about it and doesn't feel like there is anything he can do. And he thinks because I am pregnant I should just let it go and not get so worked up cause it's not good for me or the baby. Which I understand but........I don't feel I'm being unreasonable here!

 

His brother has said she won't touch my stuff again and I can put it all back in the bathroom - but I still don't trust her - so, refuse to do so. We can't kick him out...(don't really see why not but okay...) or at least I don't know how to enforce it - I obviously really don't have a say in the matter. Part of me wants to say she HAS to start paying rent at least (which again, don't know how we could enforce) - but then she'd move all her stuff in and well sorry but someone is NOT moving in with us when I'm pregnant - he definately won't be living here when we have the baby (that's already been firmly established so don't see why she would move in now - oh and did I mention they've only been dating 2 months?! I believe they just met too).

 

I got a lot of brand new dishes/pots and pans and stuff for Christmas too but I am not opening it until he moves out because I don't want him to ruin them - which he seems to do with my stuff frequently. And this just frustrates me SO MUCH!!!! I can't even open and use my christmas presents in my own house.

 

He doesn't want to pay 1/3 of the groceries anymore because he's "not here all the time". First of all, I'm a tiny girl....I NEVER ate a third of the groceries since we moved in - and I complained about that - but no one cared and I still had to pay my share so why should it be different for him? Secondly, he's bringing someone else in here so that's two people eating it.....think about it moron!!

At the moment, he's still paying a 1/3 of most - but not all - of the groceries and buys his own stuff that we aren't allowed to touch and puts it in front of all our stuff and fills the freezer/fridge so we can't buy anything..........not to mention puts it in there messy and in the wrong place (yeah, I'm anal like that..like I mentioned before...neat freak!).

 

This morning I woke up and found he broke my shower curtain...I'm sure he thinks he can just buy me one at the dollar store and that would be okay...like no, I've had that shower curtain for a long time, and LOVED it, and now I am gonna have to buy a whole new bathroom set (curtain, bath mats, gargbage, toothbrush holder..the works) and well, that's not cheap! But I'm sure his brother will think I'm being unreasonable or hat he shouldn't have to pay for it for whatever stupid reason he comes up with.

 

There is so much more I possibly couldn't even include it all. Does anyone have any advice on how I am supposed to deal with this? Or try to convince my boyfriend to kick him out or something lol. I've suggested us moving out, but we are living in his family's house and have a really good deal on the rent so it would make sense for us to stay here. But I feel like I am going to get to the point very shortly where it is gonna be either me or his brother leaving - and that is just gonna raise some more hell - not to mention i'm sure his parents will hate me for it - and more stress for me which is obviously not good since I am pregnant. Any advice would be greatly appreciated if not - it was nice to vent and I'll probably be doing it more on here since it just makes my bf angry when I vent to him now.

[Els]

Is the 'good deal' on the rent worth fracturing your family, his family, and your baby's health? Yes, it isn't your fault, you SHOULDN'T have to move, but at some point it's often worth it to cut your losses and move on.

 

Just move out. Least confrontational way to do it.

 

I have to say, though, you do sound a little obsessed about stuff. I mean.. a shower curtain that you've had for years? You're mad about that? And why do you have to buy a whole bathroom set when it's just the curtain that's torn? So that it matches?