ToothpasteLove Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 (edited) Its been a week now since it ended.. the last thing she left me with was two days ago which said shes confused and needs time to think about us.. i told her to take that time and contact me when shes ready to talk and i havent contacted her since then and i dont think i want too. I woke up this morning feeling very lonely.. it was like it finally hit me, this is really over now isnt it. I dont know what i miss about us been together, i realise what she did was treat me like her doormat. But i also understand that i am the cause of this because i let her do that to me, i should have had respect for myself and told her no. I am aware my ex (If i can call her that as we never had labels) She is back on her dating sites, shes on the look out for the next best thing, all the while she's supposed to be thinking about where she wants us to go. See what i dont understand is, it ended with me because shes scared to be in a relationship so why is she looking for another? So she can lead the next person on to hurt them too?. My family are trying to push me to move on and i know they mean well but i really am not ready. They invited a family friend over last night and we were talking, i knew this was a match up and so did this girl, im talking and making her laugh.. and a few hours pass it then hits me im not ready for this and im just sitting there waiting for her to leave, i would never just get up and leave, you see it to the end, so i waited till she left and said goodnight. Im going to explain to her that im not ready, and it would never work while im still thinking about my ex the whole time. How do they manage to move on so easily? She put herself back on the market 5 hours after it ended. She told me she loved me shes just confused then left me hanging on. Does it get easier? I also know shes going to call me when shes drunk.. but i also know the next day shes going to pretend like she never called. It will be either tonight or tomorow and i need to make sure i do not answer that call. Im thinking about joining the local choir and volunteering ( Makes me sound dorky i know but its something to keep me active ) Edited January 9, 2012 by ToothpasteLove Link to post Share on other sites
PoppyLove89 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 My ex also kept me hanging with the 'I don't know' crap for two weeks after the split but we've ended up NC since then. It's been two months now. Giving the dumpee the whole 'Im not sure what I want' following a break-up is just the dumper's way of ensuring we stick around long enough for them to decide if they made the right decision or not. It's total BS! Think about it, if you truly loved someone, it wouldn't be a 'maybe' thing. Move on with your life. If she loves you, she'll come back. If she doesn't, it's for the best. I know it's hard. I've been there...am still heartbroken and miss him terribly but there's nothing I can do but move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Your ex did what many do and chose the path of avoidance. It's much easier than maturing and self analysis... but sadly they continue the same path until they take the time to emotionally mature. You seem to be going about it the right way. Remian NC and continue to work on yourself. You realize your issues so work on them and make a promise to yourself to never allow the same treatment. Find peace within yourself and you will come out much better than the person you were when the relationship started. Best of luck to you Link to post Share on other sites
SelfCentered Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 My motto the past few months has been this: it's simple, but not easy. The simplicity is in how you carry on with your life. It's not a great complicated secret. You cut them out of your life- completely. You immerse yourself with friends and family. You throw yourself into anything- work, gym, volunteering- to take your mind off things. Simple things to understand and do. But it's not easy to make yourself do them. It's not easy to get out of bed every morning. It's not easy to fill the hole they left. It's hard. It's a test of character. But it will get better. I know this isn't what you want to hear- I don't even like typing it!- but the only thing you can do is to give yourself time. Listen to Philosoraptor's comments above- that guy knows his stuff. FYI I think volunteering is a fine idea. Giving to people who have so little is one of the most empowering things you can do. The best of luck mate. Link to post Share on other sites
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