Thinking about giving a girl I like 3 red roses, is that weird or to soon?

[Jamesith]

So I've known this girl for over a year now. And I've had feelings for her for a while now. I know she isn't with anyone, and hearing how she said if a guy who messed up gave her roses and chocolate they'd be golden. So I took this little hint and ran with it, and thought hmmm she's got something coming up really soon. And I'd surprise her by being in attendance. And then asking her to get some fresh air and give her the 3 roses and maybe chocolate. Cause she loves chocolate a lot.

 

Reason behind 3. Is I made it realistic. Past, Present, Future. Though it sounds odd just go with it for a second. Past: being I'm not afraid of the person she was back then. Present: I'm really enjoying the person she's becoming. And Future: I'm not afraid of what the future may hold whether it be bad or good. I really am not trying to over think things but one can always get helpful advice from guys and girls. Being that were both in our 20's. So what do you guys personally think about this?

[Dust]

I have to wonder why you havn't just made a move on this girl you've known for a while? Just giving her roses isn't going to make her jump into your arms... you'll still have to kiss her or something after the roses.

 

Also you heard her say she likes getting flowers after a fight or something like that? Have you guys been fighting, because sounds like you may be taking something she said out of context.

 

You've known this girl for a year so how could it be too soon? I mean I guess maybe it is too soon in the way that you've never even kissed her or anything from the sounds of your story...

 

Make a move man, 3 roses a lone arn't going to cut it. You have to ask her on a date and really you have to touch her, kiss her... Make a physical move.

[Philosoraptor]

I think it's a cute idea if you were in a relationship or at least dating... it can come off a bit creepy though out of the blue. Not sure where you guys stand.

[Dust]

I think it's a cute idea if you were in a relationship or at least dating... it can come off a bit creepy though out of the blue. Not sure where you guys stand.

 

It's not creepy though. The thing is this guy seems a little oblivious, I mean just the fact he's asking for our opinion.

 

Giving a girl flowers not exactly weird or too fast. The speech past, present, future is his poetry, also not exactly mind blowing a guy saying something he thinks his romanticly poetic to a girl he likes.

 

No nothing here weird or creepy. Girls can get creeped out by anything including you looking at them. He just needs to make a real move. The flowers is a move, but he needs to kiss her or something when he gives her the rose. At least ask her out to do something and then kiss her.

[Jamesith]

Okay so theres a back story to this. See when I first met her she was with someone at the time. Then come to find up they broke up, I was like okay I don't have feelings for her until I really got to know her 4 months later. Then months later she is with some new guy. Which doesn't last more than 2 months. Because the guy was very pushy in regards to values and morals which got her in a bad place.

 

Then she's with the first guy again and then come to hear that their engaged.... doesn't last and their already broken up. So she's single now. And just getting to spend more time with her, whether it be at her house or when she came over to my place after we went for coffee for 1 hour. Then she ends up staying for 4 hours. Both of us are in our 20's. I've seen her a lot this past week. Alone and with mutual friends. I have her number, her parents really enjoy my company when I'm at her house. Thats a good sign, but then again its her decision and her life not theres. So it's not like I don't know her and she doesn't know me. And I'm not trying to seem like I'm not making a move its just I thought a general idea would give a heads up.

[Dust]

So you went on a date and she came back to your place and you didn't kiss her? I think she may find the roses sweet but you're kind of slow not even kissing her when you've already been on a date and got her back to your place. Heck you could have tried for sex I'm not saying you should but it was pretty fast of you to invite her into your place and pretty slow of you not even kissing her... Bad move. You just seem scared to me. Go for the kiss my friend and give her your roses if you think she'll like them. Good luck! have fun

[Jamesith]

Well other part to that is my mom was in town visiting so that would have been just plain awkward to even try for sex. And kissing I'm pretty slow in that area, to not even attempt. But she has been over to my house before about 3 months. But never to the point where she actually stayed longer than 30 minutes. My mom was like she sees something in you that you may not notice. And funny thing is every girl that I've met so far that my mom knew about had liked me to some degree. Like a girl in my past 4 years ago. had liked me, but when I had mentioned moving away. My mom saw her listening in on my conversation and then a month later found someone new.

 

So I'm not turning away my mothers advice when it comes to the female mind. It seems that she's a lot faster picking up on those things then I am. I know I'm scared of the outcome but then again life is about taking chances and risking it all. Because heck it could work out. And I am surprising her next week by coming up to see her hence the thread I started.

[Jamesith]

Well come 5pm tomorrow night things will be as real as hey ever will be. As tomorrow is the day I travel up to go see her. And I thought I'd post again just to get a little do's and don'ts for tomorrow, I know some are common sense but its always nice to get a refresher from time to time. So if you have any advice or just general comments please feel free to say what you think.

 

Anything is much appreciated!

[Dust]

Well come 5pm tomorrow night things will be as real as hey ever will be. As tomorrow is the day I travel up to go see her. And I thought I'd post again just to get a little do's and don'ts for tomorrow, I know some are common sense but its always nice to get a refresher from time to time. So if you have any advice or just general comments please feel free to say what you think.

 

Anything is much appreciated!

 

Don't make up stupid excuses like "she was only over for 30 minutes" thats more then enough tim to make a move. Be a man of action and kiss the girl, its been far to long mr. 3 red roses. Time for you to seal it with a kiss.

 

Use your common sense and be yourself for a change... as in stop hiding your affections for this girl. If you screw up it will be a learning experience. Only you can live your life. Good luck. Give us an update. MAKE A MOVE!

[smudge21]

Do some Googling on the meanings of roses; the colours and amount to send. A single pink rose is a sign of a very nice friendship whereas 11 red roses are true love, not 12. Find a nice combination/colour that shows not only how you feel but also that you know your stuff.

[Feelin Frisky]

I haven't heard much to think she's interested in you as anything more than the dreaded "friend zone". You've spent a lot of time but seem to not have made any move. That rose and chocolate idea kinda sets you up for a disappointment and puts her on the spot a bit. I think you should just work up some nerve and take an opportunity to tell her you have been having feelings for her and just have to know if there's any interest in you in that way. The gifts won't "buy her" or "sell you"--they'll add complexity and difficulty. If she says she'd date you, then some small gesture is cool--one rose, no chocolate until another time-- but I definitely wouldn't make it reminiscent of some other scenario she had with another guy like it's a ritual you're repeating. That would be creepy IMO.

[creighton0123]

You have to have confidence to pull off flowers with someone you're not dating, otherwise it will come off as being somewhat creepy.

 

You don't seem like you're quite so confident in yourself. No judgment. Just an observation I could be really wrong about.

[Jamesith]

So I know its been a while since my friends event. And let me tell you it didn't go as I thought it would be. First things first (she is very religious, as am I) So she had mentioned to me when we had went out a month ago that she wasn't wanting to be in a relationship. Because she feels that God has called her to be alone. And just getting out of an engagement with her ex, was something I had forgotten and I thought okay I've got a shot. So she ends up telling me.

 

It's complicated to describe. Because there is this guy from her school that she likes and and that he likes her. But that they aren't officially anything, but that neither of them are in a place for a relationship anytime soon. Which I was brought back to her telling me, that God has called her to be alone. In that moment she goes which is why we aren't in a relationship. We just like each other and are there to support one another. But that she's not rushing anything, but that they both know where they stand with one another. But that she isn't pushing this and it it's meant to be that he is in her life then it is.

 

So not really shut down. Or rejected, because I know she has explained this to me. So I will allow her to have her own time. Say what you will, but I firmly believe this. It's going to be a long process but I know it will be worth it in the long run. Feel free to leave any comments or questions. And i'll glad fill you.