Would you continue with no end in sight?

[HeavenOrHell]

Anyone else in an LDR with no end in sight?

In my case we had an end in sight (end of this year) but it fell through, so now we have no end date, we might never live closer. On the other hand we might, but we've got no plans for it now, neither of us is in the position to move for the foreseeable future,

We've had some rocky times because of that, but neither of us want to stop.

We're lucky in that we can meet every 6 weeks, this wouldn't work if we couldn't meet as often.

Sometimes I think negatively and think probably no-oone has been able to stay together with no end to the distance, so we probably won't either, but it feels like it's worth continuing for the times we have together and the closeness we have even when apart, it feels wrong to give up on it.

I'd be interested to hear from anyone who has no end in sight, but not sure there are many of you?!

[folieadeux]

I personally couldn't continue with no end in sight, but that's just me and would never encourage anyone one way or another to my way of thinking. With that being said, just because you don't have an end date in sight right now, doesn't in any way mean that you won't have a new one set in the future. I see your situation differently. You both WANT to bridge the gap as soon as possible; it's not that one of you is giving any more than the other. If it were that easy, we would all have been living with our partners permanently by now...but we all know it just can't happen that way. I also think it's a huge help knowing you can meet up every six weeks or so too versus only getting to see each other a few times a year.

 

I've gotten to know your situation quite well from posting on here for over a year now. I really think that progress has been made in your relationship between the pair of you concerning certain issues that came up in the past. That speaks volumes to me and I wouldn't give up on this. I don't see you being apart forever; you just need to set a new end date different from the end of this year.

Edited January 10, 2012 by folieadeux

[aisle_seat]

Very tough situation, HorH...I've been following your posts. Ultimately you'll have to decide what you can handle. I can share a little of my situation that maybe will help.

 

For reasons too long to go into here (kids, to make it a short story, hers and mine) are keeping my SO and I apart; opposite sides of the U.S. At their respective ages, the soonest we might be able to live together is about 8 years. That is a very long time and we both know it and hate it. But on the other hand, we both think that what we have is worth the wait. We're able to see each other about every 3 months and talk several times a week and email/text a lot every day.

 

When you say no end in sight, do you mean ever or just not as short a time as you would like? From the outside someone could look at my situation and say that's the same thing as no endpoint, but my girl and I don't think so. We're both out of bad marriages that lasted much longer and know that what we have together is so much better, even being apart most of the time. So we're willing to wait and think in the "long term."

 

Hope this helps.

Edited January 10, 2012 by aisle_seat

[Cathster]

I, like you HoH, have no end in sight. We have never had one - he moved away and we agreed we were going to assess the situation in 2 years - this November - but to be honest I've no idea how that conversation is going to go.

 

We have both struggled and almost broken but ultimately, at the moment we find it more difficult to say goodbye than we find the distance.

 

At the moment we are just focussing on spending as much time together as possible and not thinking too much about the future, because there's nothing that can be done at this point in time.

 

It doesn't stop me asking every week whether he's fed up of his job and ready to come home yet, though.