The Poster Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 After my breakup, I was able to collect myself, sit back and look at the big picture. I knew I needed to make changes in my life to better myself. I wasn't happy with who I was and now that I'm alone, I know this is the time to make the changes. I have quit smoking. I've started dieting to lose the weight I put on over the past 6 months, and to take better care of my body. I've become smarter with my money, and I've started to plan out my path to a career in the future. But there's one thing I need to change, and I'm not quite sure how to, and that's my mentality. I played a big part in my ex leaving me. I was always insecure and paranoid, not only within the relationship, but within my own life. Constantly over-thinking and worrying. It's been holding me down for years I feel and I want to start attacking it now. I want to change my mindset. It's not that I lack confidence in myself, it's more that I need the motivation. So, how do I do it? Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 Look into CBT and NLP. Also consider paying for counselling. A good counsellor / therapist will give you someone to explore your mentality with and also ideas as to how to improve your thinking / outlook. If they challenge you and see through the smoke and mirrors (we all use them) then you can make a lot of progress for your money. Kings and queens had counsellors. All people in positions of power do, although they may not have the therapeutic kind of counsellor. These are people who are ostensibly "on your side". The good ones provide information and challenge at the same time. By having a clear relationship with someone who's not in your social life, who has some wisdom, you have a valuable asset. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted January 10, 2012 Share Posted January 10, 2012 I agree that counselling can help but the change needs to come from within. I've found that most negative thoughts and emotions come from our own point of view. When you look for the bad things in life that is of course what you find. When you look for the good you will remain optimistic and find little bits of good throughout everything. It's kinda like when you get a new car that you saw nowhere on the road... and after you get it it seems like everyone has one exactly like yours. Optimistic peaceful thinking is very calming from my experience. Link to post Share on other sites
DonJuanInc Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Solid replies so far. Work on getting to the root of WHY you felt that way; what caused you to feel insecure etc? It might take a long time, but spend time thinking about it every day. You'll get closer and closer to the source, especially if you're working with someone else (i.e. counselor) Once you start figuring it out, you can start fixing it. Cheers Link to post Share on other sites
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