spice4life Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I just want to say to everyone here, who is still struggling with "forgiveness," what someone said to me today...You're human. I can't even explain the sense of peace that washed over me when she said it...all I could do was cry. I could finally say, out-loud, "I made a mistake." And guess what? I'm okay! The final stretch to forgiveness feels like such a relief. The anger, the blame and the shame all starts to go away, freeing you up to focus completely on you. It's soooo nice! Stay strong! You will get there too! Big ((Hugs))! Link to post Share on other sites
FightClub Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I'm incredibly happy for you Spice4Life, as I recall you were one of the first to respond to my first threads about exMW over a year ago. Keep making that progress, living your life and trying to put the past behind you. It's something that takes an extremely long time, initially I believe it has more to do with processing the loss, then being able to compare and contrast from where you were. Something that happened to me a few months ago, I attended a Christian church for the first time to try to understand my exMW's faith and perhaps try possibly see the perspective that I quite frankly never had beyond the faith I have inside. The service involved infidelity, forgiveness, understanding the concept that if someone leaves your life, you did not lose them, you simply had a chance to view what the Lord gave you as a preview of what you can have for yourself. That you have to let them go, they served a purpose in your life for a reason and now you have to go from this point on and forgive them for leaving, forgive yourself for the circumstances and know that there is a path ahead of you that will ultimately lead to peace. When the service ended, I was sitting next to a older woman who turned to me and started crying and said, ' You are a good person, it doesn't matter what you did in your past, you have a good soul, you have energy inside you that's incredible, you will go onto to great things, forgive yourself and forgive whoever hurt you' I was in complete disbelief, this person did not know me, it was my first time ever in this and church and on my way to my car I really wanted to cry, it touched me that a complete stranger could see that I was hurting at the time. The moral of the story here is peace will come in time, when that time is we can only know when we are ready. -FC Link to post Share on other sites
Author spice4life Posted January 11, 2012 Author Share Posted January 11, 2012 Wow, that was an amazing story. Thanks for sharing. You are right; it all happens in your own time. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Spice, I'm so happy to hear that you've finally reached forgiveness and are at peace with yourself. You deserve it! HUGS Link to post Share on other sites
frozensprouts Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 like the saying goes "to err is human, to forgive divine"... forgive yourself, learn from your choices, and move on a better and happier person. sounds good to me Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I so relate to what FightClub is saying. In my mind, it's as if I have something to learn, so that I can move on to be a better, healthier, me. I don't want a repeat, of being involved with a MM. I want to learn my lesson, take whatever necessary, to never, put myself in this position again. If I could tell anybody , one thing that I have learned , it would definitley be, listen to your own self. Your head will sending you intuitive signals, your gut, and so on. If you deliberatley, disregard those feelings, you are setting yourself up, for everything that you are going to experience to learn, not to ignore your intuition. I knew that I deserved better and I didn't do better for myself. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGrey Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Great thread spice! So much wisdom here. Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 Awesome S4L! ....and as "humans", we ALL make mistakes and if we donot, then love we are not human:) I love it...we can be told by a million people what the truth really is, although the truth has to take place inside of us as revelation in order for it to be real and take root:) Link to post Share on other sites
East7 Posted January 15, 2012 Share Posted January 15, 2012 Hi Spice, I'm glad that you had this kind of epiphany. Don'y beat up yourself too much though. When I look at my journey through Affairland, all I can say is : What a lesson of life ! I learned more about relatioships in 2 years (A + afterA) than in the last 10 years of my life ! Having been through all that hurricane of love, pain and deception has changed a lot in me. I'm a better man Link to post Share on other sites
Author spice4life Posted January 18, 2012 Author Share Posted January 18, 2012 Awesome S4L! ....and as "humans", we ALL make mistakes and if we donot, then love we are not human:) I love it...we can be told by a million people what the truth really is, although the truth has to take place inside of us as revelation in order for it to be real and take root:) Thank you pure! This is sooo true. We can hear the words, but it's when we "see" what's blocking us on the inside that we are truly released. Link to post Share on other sites
Author spice4life Posted January 18, 2012 Author Share Posted January 18, 2012 Hi Spice, I'm glad that you had this kind of epiphany. Don'y beat up yourself too much though. When I look at my journey through Affairland, all I can say is : What a lesson of life ! I learned more about relatioships in 2 years (A + afterA) than in the last 10 years of my life ! Having been through all that hurricane of love, pain and deception has changed a lot in me. I'm a better man Thank you, East7. I totally know what you're talking about. I always said that it made me really look at myself and helped me change and become a better person. I didn't feel truly released from it all though...until I reached forgiveness. It has only been a few short weeks and the impact has been tremendous. Reading about affairs is becoming so foreign to me now. It's so weird because four weeks ago, I couldn't get through my day without reading the affair forums. Thanks again and best wishes on your journey. Link to post Share on other sites
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